I recently browsed through a blog post going on and on about the "Elf on the Shelf" and how it's preparing children for a 'police state' where they are constantly being watched and being under surveillance. Seeing as how I didn't read through all of the blog post, I'm really hoping it was satirical type post.
First of all, "Santa" has been seeing us when we were sleeping, knowing when we were awake, and if we've been bad or good, for YEARS. Literally, years and years. How long have parents held that over our heads for the holidays? I'm sorry, being told "Santa was watching me" didn't make me be good (much to my Mother's woe), and it certainly did not make me feel paranoid and that I felt like I was being watched or Santa (or anyone) was out to get me. I knew it was just a feeble ploy in my Mother's weak arsenal of holiday yule tide tricks to get me to be good, listen and follow her instructions. Santa always left me presents. (Now the Easter bunny screwed me over one year, because frankly I was a little ass hole that year, and I deserved NOTHING from the Easter bunny).
We have an "Elf on the Shelf" (Not a traditional Elf, we 'made' our own elf and he works perfectly for our family). Anyway, my kids are more into the hide and seek aspect of our elf. What's he doing this morning? What did he do while we were sleeping? Our Elf has done things ranging from coloring their noses red while they slept, to arm wrestling big foot, to coming down with the flu like the rest of the family (he hasn't moved for two days now because he isn't feel well, and neither am I). he is lovingly tucked in with a dish towel for a blanket, he has a pillow, some children's Tylenol, a thermometer, a box of tissues, and the Vicks vapor rub. He's good to go.
We don't hold our elf above the kids heads and be like "Ummm he's watching you and he's going to go tell Santa on you!!" He's just a fun guy in our house. Not here to be a spy.
If Santa, the Easter Bunny, and whoever else, hasn't prepared us for a police state than I guess nothing will, not even an Elf on the Shelf.
I think some people just get far too caught up in the whole thing that it's ridiculous. They take it too seriously, and too literally. It's a TOY for goodness sake. Even children "get it". It's a TOY. My kids are 7 and 5 and my daughter has already pretty well figured out that MOM is behind all of our yuletide 'magic' around here.
It's Christmas time FUN. Something silly to do together, to laugh at, a tradition to share with their kids years down the road.
Even when my kids are grown and out on their own, I have a feeling our elf will STILL find his own mischief, only less kid friendly and more adult friendly (perhaps being caught with a glass of wine or something). I look forward to maybe one day bringing the elf out for my Grandchildren when they visit around Christmas time. I hope my children will get their own elves for their families. To help share the magic.
Some people are just far too uptight about everything and take everything literally. It's called having fun people. Just letting kids be little.
So many people get angry about doing 'Santa' anyway. They think parents are horrible for lying to their kids about Santa. Well, you know what? St. Nick was a real person. Is he magical and come down your chimney to drop off toys? No, not so much. But I think he can go with the spirit of Christmas. In our home, Jesus is the ultimate Christmas gift. The gift God gave the world. However, we do Santa. My kids ask Santa for a few items, and hope Santa can fulfill at least one of those wishes. They don't go all greedy like some kids and ask for a million things from Santa. We keep it simple, and we talk about how some boys and girls around the world aren't as lucky as others.
Which brings me to our NEXT topic.
I saw this shared on some parenting page or something, but it was originally shared on the Facebook page of some radio station.
I have seen how hard parents have worked (been there myself) to provide stuff for their kids for Christmas, and that ONE coveted item the kid asked Santa for. It may take a parent an ENTIRE YEAR to get that item for their kid, from Santa. By golly, if they want to put FROM SANTA on that game system (that they may have bought USED from Game Stop or purchased on a Swap Shop), then that parent has that right to do so. That may be the only item Santa brings to that kid. You don't know every person's life. My kids got a Wii for Christmas one year, and it was an old one that a friend no longer used. Same with their Kinect. Their "new" video games they are getting this year? Came from the sale bin at Game Stop, previously played, and were like $4 a piece and we bought them over the summer and hid them a way.
I will say, when I was growing up, my Christmas's were AWESOME, until about first grade. I ended up with a TON of stuff under the tree, JUST FOR ME. I was an only child, and Santa apparently adored me. I would get all kinds of awesome stuff that I wanted, but hadn't necessarily asked for (I was a good kid not one of those that went around demanding or asking/begging for stuff). However, come about first grade, my family fell on some harder times, and my Christmas's from then on out were a wee bit sparser and we had to sign up for some Christmas programs (You know those ones where a child's age and 'wishes' are put on a tree and some random stranger 'adopts' you and buys you presents and donates them to the organization and then your parent comes and picks it up). Ya. My childhood and high school years were filled with a LOT of that.
I didn't usually get what I had asked for. But that was ok. I knew that someone had taken the time to get me what THEY COULD. To be kind to me, someone they didn't even know. I never felt bad or jealous of what other kids got on Christmas day (and yeh kids do talk about what they got for Christmas at school, and you can see all the kids wearing their new clothes and stuff). I never felt bad that Santa brought these kids stuff that was different from my stuff. I don't know if I honestly ever made that connection or not to be truthful.
There have been several Christmas's where my husband and I couldn't afford much (or anything) at all for our kids for Christmas, and we had to sign up for some programs. How thankful I am for those programs! If it hadn't been for those programs many a year my kids would have nada under the tree.
It's really hard for me to admit sometimes that we struggle. Especially this year.
However, I never want my children to judge their happiness by what Santa brings another child. If my children ONLY got a hat and gloves for Christmas from Santa, and the neighbor kid got a PS4 from Santa, I'd tell my kids that Santa KNEW they needed new hats and gloves and he wanted to make sure they were warm when they went outside to play. That you don't judge your happiness based on what someone else has. Be happy with what YOU have.
However, if my children were to get that awesome Lego or Hot Wheels track or Doll they asked for Santa for, for Christmas, and the neighbor kid only got a package of cheap cars, I also know my children will not gloat about what they got and the other kid didn't. My kids would be the one asking the other kid if he wanted to bring his race cars over to use on their race track, to include the other child so they can ALL have fun. My daughter would be the one asking the other kids to bring their Barbie's over to play in her doll house. That's the way I've raised my children. Don't gloat. However, I also want them to know it IS ok to be happy and excited for what you have, that's ok. It's ok to have joy and happiness. However, when you are going "Hahahahaha, I got this and YOOOU doooon't" That's crossing a line into taunting, and I won't have that.
Usually around this time of year we make a donation to the local animal shelter, where we volunteer as a family (or have in the past, we haven't had much of a chance to do much volunteering there this year, but we are helping a local dog rescue). Whether it's a few items they need, or monetary. It may not be MUCH but it's something. This year, we didn't get to do that. However, my daughter DID make a donation to the local Toys for Tots program when our Girl Scout troop had a toy drive to help out the program. They needed baby items, and thankfully that's what we donated, so I know it was helpful, and I hope some child really enjoys it.
It's all about perspective and how YOU see the holidays, and how you are raising your children to view the holidays and others around you. Next week my children will be delivering cookies, Christmas cards, and hand made ornaments to several of our neighbors. They are excited and can't wait to do this.
My sons are kind of hitting that stage where they see something on TV and were saying things along the lines of "I NEED that mom!" We sat down and had a conversation about what a NEED is versus a want. A NEED is something that you need for survival. Food and water are NEEDS, you need those to survive. A roof over your head, clothes, shoes, heat, electricity those are also needs. Going to a doctor for a check up to keep you healthy is a need. The latest and greatest Lego set, is NOT a NEED, it's a want.
It's something you want, you would like to have that item, because it's something you are interested in. I have lots of things I like, but that doesn't mean I will get them, and if I do get them, I will not get them right away. They are things you have to work towards.
I told my children, it's ok to LIKE something. There is not a thing at all wrong in the world with liking something that you see. It's ok to see that cool remote control car on TV and say that you LIKE it, but to say that you NEED it, is entirely different. The car is not something that benefits your survival (in fact if it's a noisy annoying toy it might be detrimental to your survival, haha or your moms sanity).
There is also the "Great Santa Lie". Do you LIE to your kids and let them believe in the fun that is Santa, or do your not even bother with Santa in your home at all. That's a decision that is best left to each individual family. No one person can make that decision for you, nor should they judge your decision. Just acknowledge that it wasn't the choice for YOUR family and move on. It's ok to NOT participate in the whole Santa bananaza. It's also OK to participate in the whole Santa world. So many times you see HUGE debates and arguments and people getting down right NASTY over it all.
You get told you are HORRIBLE for lying to your children. That you are damaging your kids by lying to them, yadda yadda. Guess what, kids aren't dumb, give them a little more credit than that ok?
I was honestly about 3 or 4 when I caught my Mother putting presents under the tree. I kind of figured it out then, but I didn't say anything. I just let it go, because she looked happy and like she was enjoying herself. At about 8 or 9 when all of my friends were talking about it, I told my Mother I no longer believed in Santa and she didn't need to pretend anymore. Then my sister was born when I was 10, so I had to play along with my Mother for SEVERAL years.
I remember when my sister found out Santa wasn't real. She was 7, and the girl was CRUSHED. I don't mean just a little crushed. She was DEVASTATED. She cried her little eyes out. My Mother wasn't too comforting about it either. I didn't really much care for her approach on the whole Santa thing, and I'm still not sure how it ended up all going down the way it did. I just know it was ugly, and I felt AWFUL for my sister. I told her that, if you believe in the spirit of Christmas, then Santa lives in YOU, and that Santa wants us to be kind and caring and giving, and would want us to use the day to celebrate the REAL reason we celebrate Christmas, which is to celebrate the birth of Jesus. That conversation did wonders for my sister, and calmed her down and made her happy again. Though it landed ME in hot water with my Mother (she said I was 'overstepping') I told her I was doing what big sisters SHOULD do and that is comfort their little sister (I was 17 at the time). My Mother and I had a VERY rocky relationship during my pre teen and teen years anyway, so not really surprised we butted heads on the Santa debate too). I just never figured out why she had no problem with me 'believing' in Santa till I was 8 or 9, but crushed my sisters holiday spirit at the age 7.
I have fond memories from my childhood of Christmas parties with the cheesy Santa, where we spent the time trying to guess which older gentleman in town was the one wearing the costume and fake beard), where we went to the department store and sat on Santa's lap for a polaroid film photo (did this with the Easter Bunny too).
Writing a letter to Santa after Thanksgiving and mailing it at the local post office, and hoping it 'got there' in time.
That's about as "Santa" as we got when I was growing up. I know some families go a LOT more crazy with it than we did, but those were happy memories from when I was a kid.
We go see Santa at the 'Santa House' here in town every year. We get that coveted photo with Santa to put on our Christmas cards. We write letters to Santa, and made a 'magic' key to hang on the front door since we don't have a fire place. We put up our tree and decorate it with our memory ornaments (collection of ornaments that are special to us throughout the years, some from my childhood, and ones bought for the kids and hand made ornaments).
This year my husband and I didn't have the money to buy the kids things. So all of the presents this year will be 'from Santa' because the kids know Mom and Dad didn't have money for presents. At one point my daughter was going to give me her tooth fairy money she had been saving so we could buy presents.
If I can see my kids happy and being KIDS on Christmas morning, then I don't mind sharing credit with a fat guy in a red suite for ONE day out of the year. The rest of the year it's MOM and DAD that make the magic happen. For birthday's and just special times here and there.
Kids grow up way to quickly. If I can keep them 'little and innocent' for just another year longer, I will. I want them to know that the world IS a beautiful and magical place. That there IS GOOD in the world, that PEOPLE can be good. It's ok to be imaginative and creative. You do NOT always have to be so literal and serious. If we didn't have imaginative people and people who "believed" in the make believe we wouldn't have some of the amazing literature , amazing pieces of art, amazing musical pieces, or amazing movies that we have today. People that create beauty in this world, they believe in a magic that you cannot see, they see the world differently, and that's ok! Those are people who help bring beauty into this world, they help inspire us.
We have plenty of friends who do not celebrate Christmas AT ALL, and we have friends who DO celebrate Christmas they just don't use Santa in that equation. That's ok too. We don't judge them, they don't judge us. It is, what it is. It's how they choose to celebrate/see things. We just teach our children that not everyone is going to celebrate the holidays like we do, and that's ok. Not everyone believes the same things we do.
That goes true with more than just Santa.
They will encounter this when they get older. We go to Church, we believe in God. Not everyone does. Some people do not believe in God at all. Some people follow their religion differently than we do. There are BILLIONS of people on this planet, we are NOT all going to do things the same way, we aren't all going to believe the same things. Our lives are different. It doesn't mean we hate those people, hating is wrong. It just means, we're all different, and that's ok. If everyone on this planet was exactly the same, it would be so boring! Same hair, same skin, same beliefs, same height, same likes, same dislikes etc....it would be very boring. I don't think we'd have all of the amazing traditions, experiences, cultures that we have now. Our lives are shaped by where we live, the things we experience, the people in our lives.
As people venture out into the world, and get married and start families of their own, you mix two different families together and you blend traditions, you share ideas.
Christmas should be a beautiful time of the year, regardless of HOW you celebrate it. With our without Santa, with our without money etc. My HOPE is that most people DO have Jesus for their Christmas. However, for those that DON'T I still wish them a beautiful Christmas as well.
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