Reasons I Hate Organized Sports (seriously, just read it you might giggle, a little)

It's not so much that I hate sports, because I certainly do not.  I also certainly do not think it's a bad thing for kids to PLAY sports.  Sports can be a very great form of exercise, great childhood memories, a lesson in team work, building friendships, building skills, building a love for something, and teaching them dedication and hard work pays off, and on and on I could go about the GOOD things about sports. 

However.  That's not what this post is about. 

Why I HATE organized Soccer Sports. 

1.  Pricey.  Pricey doesn't even BEGIN to cover it.  Oh my frickin wowzas.  Last year my kids played Ragball (fancy term for T Ball with a bigger slightly softer ball).  I only had to pay the registration fee and buy them a ball glove, and that was it.  I didn't HAVE to buy anything else.  BUT I got them all cleats (which I found in brand new condition at a second hand store for like $3 a piece.  Score!)  T Shirts came as part of the registration fee.  I already had shorts for them to wear.  I didn't end up purchasing a bat because I was the coach and had a whole ball bag full of bats and balls we could practice with at home whenever I wanted.  I did however, buy ball gloves and balls for the kids, which was like $8 or so apiece (so like $24 total.  Soccer this year cost us $120 to sign up for (and that was WITH a 'family' discount because all of my kids were playing).  Again, a T shirt was included in that, as well as soccer socks to match the color of their team shirts.  I already had shorts at home they could use.  We bought cleats for the kids (which was like $21 total because I was NOT going to go out and buy the most expensive brand I could find! They are just going to out grow them before next season anyway, and I know at least ONE of my kids is never going to want to play soccer again after this season, she's made that LOUD AND CLEAR).  They failed to mention, and I failed to use common sense...that my children would need SHIN GAURDS.  (What's a few bruised shins during soccer games, right?)  So of course I was a last minute shopper and the one and only place IN town to buy crap here is Wal Mart.  Had a PITIFUL soccer section.  TINY.  Miniscule.  Of course it was sold out of everything I needed.  GO FIGURE.  I did, thanks to a friend end up with soccer socks with built in shin guards, which works.  My daughter ended up with a pair of Velcro on shin guards and she really likes those.  I am pretty sure only one of my sons will want to play soccer this fall, so he will inherit his sisters shin guards to use so I won't need to buy him a new pair.  There was the $9 soccer ball (found that on sale) but I also failed to think that all of my kids would want/need their own separate soccer ball.  Do you know how hard it is to get three kids to share one soccer ball at practice?  Yeh, it doesn't work...at all.  There was the $25 soccer goal we got at the mall (was a PITA to put together too by the way).  Not to mention when it's your turn to bring snack to the games (and you have three kids playing, at least two of mine are on the same team!).  I realize that the cost of sports will only increase as my children get older.  I die a little inside every time I remind myself of this.  However, I want my kids to pursue the things they are interested in, and they are interested in soccer and stuff right now, so we shall pursue it.  We also cannot forget the cost of the TEAM PHOTOS and individual shots.  There are always photos.  Thankfully I did most of my own this year and just paid $10 for ONE 5x7 shot of all three of my kids together and that is now framed on my living room wall.  BAM, it's done.  Works for me. 

2.  It's painful.  Not just for the kids either.  I'm talking about real physical injury...for the parents.  Yeh, or maybe it's just me and my Husband that suffer with that?  Like, tonight for instance...I'm helping Circus Son #2 put on his soccer socks and shin gaurds, and those buggers are NOT easy to get on! This kid has freaking little stick legs and the socks STILL don't go on easy.  So I'm pulling and tugging at the sock to get it up where it needs to be and then tugging and pulling and pushing to get the shin guard in the 'pocket' it needs to be in, and guess what?  I my hand slips right off and I PUNCH MYSELF IN THE OWN DANG EYE.  I mean C'mon! WHO DOES THAT!?  *points at self*  This mom, RIGHT HERE.  If I have a black eye tomorrow, I blame soccer.  Soccer beat the crap out of me, and it won.  Also, I may warn you...if you are SITTING on the side lines...in the grass....give a couple feet between you and the white lines, TRUST ME.  It doesn't feel godo to be trampled by a team of cleat clad kids, and a rampaging soccer ball.  AND if you are at practice...and you are watching your kids, and decide to send a couple of text messages...NEVER EVER TAKE YOUR EYES OFF THE BALL.  If you do...the soccer ball will find your head.  It will hurt, scare the crap out of you and you will drop your cell phone and squeak like a dying ferret.  Also have you ever had your flip flopped foot stomped on by a kid wearing soccer cleats?  Well, if you haven't....I don't suggest giving it a try.  Unless you happen to LIKE your feet being tenderized.  Tennis shoes are also not really great at protecting your feet when cleats are in the proximity, I may suggest steel toed boots, or perhaps borrowing Darth Vaders boots. I promise, one or all of the previous injuries have occurred to me, two of them...perhaps happened just tonight.   There is also the fact my poor husband needs a nut cup any time our children play a sport.  They play a sport and his family jewels take a hit.  Thank goodness we don't want any more kids.  During a practice one day, we were working with our kids a little extra on an empty field.  There were still several parents and kids standing around playing the game and what not, and my husband was being 'goalie' it was my daughters turn to kick and I guess he didn't think he had anything to be worried about.  Well, let me just say that my daughter proved him wrong.  ALWAYS protect your jewels.  She kicked that ball so hard and it went flying and like there was some kind of magnetic target...it hit him RIGHT SQUARE IN THE MAN PARTS.  There was a loud THUNK, immediately followed with a UUUUGH and he was laying on the ground, in agony.  I however, am the worst wife EVER, and immediately busted up laughing, as did my daughter.  We were both rolling on the ground in laughter, as were my sons (they wouldn't have found it funny if it were them though).  We weren't the only ones laughing.  Parents on the side lines were really really trying hard not to laugh, but it wasn't working too well.  My poor husband.  Family jewels broken, he limped off the soccer field embarrassed, and not wanting to show his face around there for quite some time!  Also sitting in the sun sucks, especially if you forget your sunblock or your sunglasses.  Or your jacket.  Or a blanket.  I cannot get over being sick (for multiple reasons) but I'm pretty sure standing on the windy soccer field in cool temps either early early of a morning, and late in the evening is NOT HELPING.  At this rate, I'll be sick all summer.  Not to mention the physical pain of watching your kid get injured, or being said child GETTING injured.  Do you know how many kids I've seen take soccer balls to the FACE, or fall and get trampled! Good grief, soccer is scary.  Also the emotional pain of watching YOUR child be the 'not so good kid on the team that totally lets down the team and everyone is bummed and mad at your kid, yeh even the parents are giving you the stink eye because your kid stinks"  THAAAAT really sucks.  I do NOT like that at all.  First of all, it's rude.  Don't be a snot, be supportive of ALL of the kids out on the field, yeh even the ones that are NOT trying.  Because there may be a reason.


3.  Coaches.  Don't even get me started.  Now, I have been a little league coach before.  Remember?  I was a ragball coach.  It is NOT easy to get little kids to listen to you. I admire teachers.  How they do this crap day after day I have no idea.  But every day they don't strangle my kids, and some how find a way to teach them SOMETHING I am amazed, and thankful.  Thank you teachers at school for doing what I definitely could not.  Teach, my children.  Now with coaches....they are volunteers.  They don't get paid for coaching little league sports (at least not around here??? Not sure how that works in other places).  In fact I had to PAY money to be a coach for Rag Ball last year ($25 but I got my money back after I completed the training course, and I am still a registered coach until the end of May, yay me! But I'm not coaching rag ball again).  IF you are going to sign up to be a coach, please put effort into it.  Do not do it just so your precious child can be the 'star' of the team.  Jr. probably isn't as amazing at the sport as you think he is anyway.  Don't bail out on practices all of the time (like, seriously ALL OF THE TIME).  Kids need those practices.  It is an HOUR of your time ONCE a week to coach these kids.  Go over the basics, this isn't professional sports.  Teach them how to work together as a TEAM.  If anything else at least teach them good sportsmanship and how to help their weakest player on the team, help that team mate become a stronger team mate, or at least build  them up and make them feel confident to help them play as hard as they can.  Every child is full of potential and it's up to the coach to help pull it out.  My sons have an awesome coach.  He is doing a really great job with the kids.  He is FUN, but he yells at them JUST the right amount to keep them focused.  He high 5's them and is really proud of all of them.  I love watching my kids respond to their coach who knows he has a team of really awesome kids.  I wish my daughter's coach was a little more...up there on that part.  That's all I've got to say about that.  There's some serious lack of coaching on that end.  I generally try not to be negative about the coaches, because I've been there, I know what it's like to coach, it's crazy.  If you are going to coach, be committed to it.

4.  Weather.  Oh good grief. I kind of touched on this one in the pain part. The weather is up and down and all around this time of year.  I'm sick of it. Allergies are everywhere on top of it all.  My kids are snotty nosed right now it's ridiculous.  It's rainy, then it's chilly.  I hate dragging them out to games at the butt crack of dawn.  It's damp.  It's chilly.  It's not really that fun.  Plus, I know they are just going to get sicker.  Sometimes it's a bit misty, not down right raining so of course they aren't going to cancel a game or a practice over a fine mist, but it's enough to annoy you.  Not to mention the one or two scorching game days or practices you might have.  OH and when the weather leaves you guessing as to whether or not the game will be cancelled that day or not, and you keep waiting for the text that will say "GAME CANCELLED DUE TO RAIN".

5.  Time.  It takes a lot of time to put your kids in an organized sport.  You have to fit in practices as soon as they get home from school plus home work, and eating supper and doing chores, and getting them to bed at a semi decent time. Plus the time spent practicing with your children AT HOME, because like with school work...how can they get better if they aren't practicing at home too?  Sports games often cancel out plans for your Friday evenings or Saturday morning/afternoons.  You miss friends birthday parties, you miss Girl Scout activities, you miss other activities, because you are in a TEAM sport, and your team needs you and you can't let them down.  But it's still a disappointing pain in the butt.  Plus I don't care how early we start getting ready for a game, we're STILL running behind.  Thankfully we're never the last player at the game, but c'mon!! Hurry up kids! Oh there is also the time spent keeping track of all of their crap.  Keeping all of the soccer socks washed, TOGETHER, and keeping all of the uniform shirts with the shorts and socks and all of that fun jazz.  OF course the time spent wrestling the kids IN to that stuff to begin with.   I honestly can't even begin to tell you where all of there soccer stuff is right now...I might want to find that...they have a game soon...

6.  Parents.  Yeh, there are always other parents.  Most of them are nice and helpful and kind.  Some, are not.  You'll know when you meet each one.  Some of them I'd like to take out behind the concession stand and smack around a little.  Others, I'd totally love to invite over for coffee! If you know, we weren't always busy with work and soccer.  The parents that think their kids are a soccer God, are the worst.  You just have a kid, playing soccer. That MAY or may not be a little more ahead of the other kids, but not by much.  Plus, they don't REALLY keep that close of a track of the goals.  They do, but they don't.  It doesn't matter.  Cheer the WHOLE team on, not just Jr., ok?  YOUR kid didn't win the game, the TEAM won the game.  Also, don't let your kid make rude comments about another player whether on your team or not.  I hate hearing snide comments from children about another player, it makes me sad! Don't raise a douche, say something to your kid and let them KNOW it's not ok to talk about other players like that.  Parents, you don't bad mouth the other kids either, they are CHILDREN not professional players.  There are the parents who talk a lot (um, no I, have NO idea why you are all looking at ME I would NEVER be that parent, not at ALL).  There are the parents that stand there, arms crossed, never saying a word.  Sometimes clapping, but other wise, never making eye contact, just creepily staring at the field from behind their sunglasses.  Super stoic face. There are the parents that are ALWAYS FREAKING LATE.  Their kid gets there a good 15min after the game has started.  Also the forgetful parent who forgot the shin guards, the uniform shirt, the water bottle (hey been there done that a couple of times, ok!)  There is the parent that stands RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU and doesn't move, until you move, then they step right in front of you again, they do it even more when you have a camera in your hand, then they just plain old INSIST on being in your way.  There is also the camera mom (erm, yes that one IS ME and I am proud of it!!).  There is always the kid who you aren't really sure they actually belong to because every game or practice they are coming with someone different that looks like they could be their mom or dad.  There is the parent who forgets it was their turn to bring snack (please Lord, do not let that mom be me on Thursday!! *note to self buy soccer snack, pronto, and don't forget* 



See, there are plenty of reasons to hate organized sports (SOCCER).  I will not lie, I have said many times already, and loudly, that I HATE SOCCER (no wonder my daughter yelled that on the field a few days ago...*gulp*).  It's not soccer PERSAY that I hate, I actually like soccer...but there are at least 5 or 6 aspects of organized sports, soccer...that I don't care much for. I saw a woman walking around at the soccer fields one day with a shirt on that simply said "NOT A FAN"  I about DIED laughing when I read her shirt, I had just complained to my husband that I hated soccer (over some silly little comment, I was purely joking when I said it) and then this woman walked by with her shirt.  I pointed her out to my husband and said "See, that woman gets it, look at her shirt, it's a subtly nice way of saying 'I HATE SOCCER! and I'm only hear for my kid', the woman looked at me and just busted up laughing and nodded her head and said I was the first person to 'get' her subliminal messaging. 

I feel ya sister, I feel ya.  Now, where can I buy that shirt? I totally need it. 

Mom Circus

*please note I do NOT really hate soccer or organized sports.  I love watching my children practice and play at games.  They do have great coaches that care about how they are doing and want to see them try their best.  The coaches are regular parents like you and me as are all of the wonderful volunteers in our entire community working in the sports areas in our community.  The parents have all been really wonderful that I have met too during soccer.  This is our first experience with soccer and so far I'm really having fun with it all. 

Happy 6th Birthday My Sons

Tomorrow, on April 27th my darling twin sons will officially be 6 years old.  Circus Son #1 will be 6 at exactly 8:11am, while his 'little brother' Circus Son #2 will officially be 6 exactly two minutes later at 8:13am.  I was cut open for my second and last C Section.  Say what you will about the appropriate way to have a child, I don't really care.  All I knew, was that day...I was becoming a mom of twin boys. (well at least the mom of ONE boy, I was still iffy on if Circus Son #1 was a boy or not, because in their gender ultra sound I missed his boy bits because his brother kicked him right when I looked and I missed it, so there was still a 50/50 chance that it was a boy or a girl, didn't care either way I was just trying to be prepared incase the ultra sound was wrong, ha! The ultra sound tech was right, I had two lovely little boys!

So this is how MOM celebrates the fact that her twin sons are turning six.  She goes out to eat and gets herself a strawberry daiquiri! (ok so her husband orders it as a surprise, apparently he thought I looked like I needed an adult drink, I didn't argue!)  Hey birthday parties aren't easy folks, they are NOT EASY!

Wow! Time flies by.  So very quickly.  It seems like just yesterday my stomach was stretched as far as it could go.  I had one child way up in my boobs so far that it looked like I had three breasts.  The other child was head down, and practically dangling out of my vagina.  I swear he was waving at people as we walked by.  It was not a comfortable way to spend the last few weeks of my pregnancy. 

I learned that you could get horizontal stretch marks across your stomach.  I hadn't been aware of that snazzy tid bit before then.  My sons now find that hilarious.  Little stinkers. 

I was completely stressed out the last few months of my pregnancy with the twins, and by some amazing grace of God, the pregnancy went really well.  No complications.  I was on iron pills towards the end, but the doctors weren't super worried about anything it was just a precaution. 

I was scared to death.  Twins.  Twin BOYS.  How on EARTH was I going to raise BOYS, let alone two of them at the same time.  Which is rather ironic because when I was pregnant with my daughter, I swore up and down she was going to be a boy.  Not because I WANTED a boy first, I just figured that's the way it was going to happen.  I'd have my boy first, then my girl.  My brain didn't see it happening any other way.  I didn't really CARE about their gender persay, I didn't cry and get mad when I had a girl saying I wanted a boy and what not, just my entire life I had a 'plan' that my boy would be born first. 

Hahaha.  Funny stuff those plans are.  Not that it really mattered in the long run at all!

But the fact that I was suddenly terrified to try and raise boys, is what I now can laugh at and find comical. 

There is only 19 months between my daughter, and my sons.  Not that much difference! Though some days...it can seem like years and years! I'd like to say that raising my sons has been VASTLY different than how I raised my daughter.  It's not.

I've had essentially the same approach to parenting with them, as I have my daughter. 

Raise them all to be independent, strong, leaders.  Teach them to help others, to be good people, believe in God, love their country, treat everyone equally, give everyone a chance at being a decent and good person.  Believe in second chances.  Help those that cannot help themselves, stand up for the sick or injured.  Be kind to animals, and the environment.  Love yourself, be proud of who you are, but not conceited.  Love your family, they are the only ones that know you for who you are and what you stand for.  Be creative when you can, be inquisitive, question things, it's ok to say no, yes even to adults.  Kids need to learn to say no, even to adults.  It's ok to push some boundaries, but learn when to not push a boundary.  Always be you.  Don't try to be someone else, because you aren't them, you were born YOU.  You can't change that.

That's a lot of what my parenting stands for. 

The kids have really showed me a lot over the years, especially my sons. 

Back then, six years ago I NEVER for saw that one of my sons would have cancer.  I did not see that coming, it wasn't even SLIGHTLY a concern of mine.  I was more worried that I would lose a child to SIDS, or the twin absorption thing or whatever (when still in early utero), than I was of having a child with cancer.

My sons taught me to always trust my gut, don't question the fact that I know my child better than the doctors, and to NEVER EVER feel bad about getting a second opinion.  To stand up and FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT for my children.  Keep PUSHING. 

My sons also taught me to pray.  I already prayed, I remember when I was pregnant with my daughter I prayed EVERY single night for a healthy, happy, wonderful child.  That she would be healthy first and  foremost.  I prayed that same prayer for my twins. 

However, when my son was diagnosed with cancer...my prayers, became so much more earnest and sincere.  I was praying with every cell in my body.  Sobbing as I prayed, down on my knees, asking God to be with my son.  Asking God to be with my sons doctors.  Asking God to be with my other two children, asking God to be with my HUSBAND who was hurting so bad during all of this because he felt so very powerless.  I prayed to God, to be with ME.  Because I did NOT feel even remotely strong enough to get through this. 

Mommy's want to kiss away the boo boo's to make their babies feel better.  I couldn't kiss away my sons cancer.  I couldn't kiss away my other sons seizures.  I was power less.  It was all out of MY control.  That was so hard to accept.  I wasn't in control of the situation, at all. 

I think that alone was the most powerful thing my sons have taught me in the 6 years that they have been on this earth.  That I control...NOTHING.  I am just a speck in God's great plan.  He is the master planner.  I am to trust.  I am to believe, and those are things I'm not always very good at!! I would rather be in control of things most of the time.  I have a VERY hard time letting go and letting someone else be in control of something.  It's been a HUGE struggle of mine for my entire life. 

I can have all of the routine, schedule, planning that I want.  While usually my sons are great with that kind of stuff and need it, they also make sure to show me just how little I really know, and how I still don't control diddly squat even IF I have everything planned down to the millisecond.  That's just not how life works, you can't be a control freak and expect it to actually work. 

Thank you for that lesson sons!

They also taught me I am much better at multi tasking than I thought I was.  Though, I am still not that hot at it some days. 

They also taught me that it's ok to not be the 'perfect' mom.  I don't need to be perfect, they already think I am the perfect mom for them.  They love me to the moon and back, and that's what counts.  They don't care if my hair is always wore the same way, they don't care if I'm in my PJ's all day, or if I'm not as skinny as some other mom.  They don't care.  I'm the one who nurtures, snuggles, cuddles, feeds, protects, hugs and kisses, reads a story too, cares for, EVERY single day.  I'm their mom.  Perfection, has no place there, because life isn't perfect.  Life is messy.  Life is chaotic, life is fun, life can be miserable too, life is REAL. Life is all around us. 

They also taught me that all of those "twin-isms" are not always true.  My twins never had their own secret language.  My twins never seemed to read each others minds.  Though they DO sometimes say the same things at exactly the same time.  They also taught me that people can ask some of the stupidest most obvious questions to twin moms, and that I'm no different than others because I STILL find myself saying some of the EXACT same stuff to other twin moms. Seriously?  WHY would I do that?  Duh.

I was so scared when I found out I was having twins.  I cried my heart out.  I sobbed.  I was crying out of fear, not because I didn't want them.  I loved them instantly, but I just felt in adequate.  I felt like I wasn't enough to raise twins.  I'd say, I've done ok.  I've been just enough of what they need.  I couldn't imagine life without them in it, I don't even want to THINK about life without them in it. 

They bring so much joy, humor, pride, strength, love, courage, awesomeness, to my life that my cup over flows daily in blessings between all three of my children. 

I don't know why or how God chose me to parent these small tiny beings, but I am so thankful that he did. 

It's been a crazy six years filled with lots of ups and downs.  I know we still have a long road ahead of us, many MANY more adventures to come.  My little guys are no longer my 'babies'.  They ceased being babies the end of last year.  I noticed a change in them.  Just one day I blinked and suddenly they weren't those chubby cheeked babies I've snuggled and loved on for years.  They were suddenly...little BOYS.  Growing young men that were changing right before my eyes. 

Splatters of freckles across their sweet faces, loose and wiggly teeth, knowing how they want their own hair styled, taking their own showers, pretending to shave their face with dad, reading and writing and doing math, coming home laughing and talking to each other about things that have happened at school or on the bus.  Making friends, and not the same friends as each other but branching out, embracing their own separate identities.  Finding their interests. 

Oh gosh.  It's scary business guys.  They grow up.  You can't keep them that little innocent baby forever.  Before you know it that sweet tiny baby phase is gone.  Gone now are the days when they smelled like baby.  Like baby powder, baby lotion, baby wipes, baby shampoo, baby laundry soap...those days are gone.  Gone are the days of waking up off and on all night to change diapers, feed them, burp them, hold them cuddle them, or even play at 3am when they had no intention of going back to sleep for another two hours.  Those days are gone.  I find myself missing it.  Knowing that I wished it away too quickly because I was so tired.  I just wanted to "get through it" and keep enough sanity so I could sleep in some day. 

Funny thing is...they are six years old now and I am still just as tired NOW as I was six years ago.  Now it's just normal every day.  Back then, it was still sorta new.  My daughter had been a pretty good sleeper (she spoiled me I guess). 

I miss nursing my children.  I didn't get to nurse as long as I had wanted, but I loved the close ness of feeding my children.  I loved the bond, I loved knowing that MY body was enough to sustain their tiny little bodies and help it grow.  It's amazing.  To me it's a miracle what our bodies can do. 

Today my sons are huge Lego fans, they love motorcycles, race cars, Power Rangers, Super Heroes, Pokémon, board games, Mine Craft, puzzles, helping me cook, helping me garden, they love love love to learn. They love to build things and design things.  One son wants to go into architecture and construction, and I think he would do an amazing job! The other son, wants to build race cars and race motorcycles when he's not busy building race cars, he says he'd also like to be a fire fighter.  I can definitely see him doing all of those things too.  He likes adventure!

Right now, there is nothing in this world that they CAN'T do.  They can do ANYTHING they set their minds to. 

The world is theirs for the exploring.  But I hope they always keep a bit of that innocence.  I don't care how big those boys get, I will still always see my sweet little babies.  I will always know the struggles they faced as babies, the fears they had as young children.  I will always remember their favorite things, I will remember which stuffed animal they cuddled with forever.  I will never forget how their smell changed as they grow older, I will always know the sound of their voices in a crowded room and be able to tell, at a moment if something is wrong. 

These boys they grew inside of me.  They are a part of me.  I have loved these boys from day one.  I have prayed for them, I have cried for them and I know I will do that so many more times over the course of their lives.  They have so much growing yet to do.  So many choices yet to make.  Will they always make good choices as they grow up into young men?  I have no idea, but I'm sure they won't always make the right choices, but I pray they will.  I pray they will know that I love them, and so does God.  That I have always loved them, and only want to see them do wonderful, good things, but am realistic enough to know, that they will sometimes fail...and that failure is ok too, it gives you a chance for growth, to try again. 

Too many times I see siblings drift apart or fight with each other.  My husband is not very close with his younger siblings.  His mom isn't really close with her siblings either.  To be honest, I'm not nearly as close with my sisters as I would like to be, as I should be.  It's not a cycle I want to see continue.  I encourage my children to be close, and to work together.  I want them to know they CAN work through things together, and that TOGETHER we CAN make it through the rough patches in life.  I want them to know that Mom and Dad will NOT be on this earth for ever (as much as I hate to think about it).  It's the truth.  Some day, hopefully later, MUCH later on down the road, my husband and I won't be here anymore.  Our children, will only have each other.  I want them to be close siblings, not the kind that are too busy for each other.  No matter how old you get, your sibling, is still your sibling. 

Tonight, we took the boys out to eat at their favorite Mexican restaurant, where they then proceeded to order a cheese burger and fries.  Don't ask that they eat when we go out to Chinese.  My kids just don't make any sense.  Anyway, while we were there my husband told the waiter that our sons were turning six, and so several minutes later they came out with sombreros at the ready and ice cream for the boys as a special birthday celebration.   One son, was NOT liking all of the extra attention, the other son was grinning ear to ear and thought it was the most amazing thing ever.  They've always been like that though! What's super funny is the fact that we have always done blue for our first son, and red for our second son, and without even being told the waiters put the correct color of hat on each kid.  Even my sons saw the humor in that and pointed it out.




Ten years from now my sons will be on the eve of their 16th birthday.  I hope they will still be just as amazing as they are right now.  I also hope I can get them to wear sombrero's for me again!

Here is a quote from one of my favorite children's books called "January's Child" by Andrea Alban Gosline

"April's Child, is a cloudy parade, where butterflies glide through the sky in shade.  You color the world the way you live.  You are curious, unique, and imaginative. 

I am thoughtful, I stretch, I float, I create, I am open, I hope, I honor, I wait"  -- From January's Child by Andrea Alban Gosline

My amazing little boy (big boy now), Circus Son #1.  You amaze me.  You've always been so sweet hearted and kind.  I've always called you my Mr. Teddy Bear, or my little Marshmallow.  You are so much more than that to me.  You've always known when Mommy needs a cuddle, or an extra hug and an extra I love you.  You are generally so agreeable and you work so very hard.  You are always proud of all of your work and you always try your best.  You are my oldest son, my first born little boy.  I still remember my first glimpse of your sweet chubby cherub face.  I was so in love with you, and I still am today.  I love your freckles and that sweet little mole by your mouth.  You make me smile every day.  I love how much you've grown and matured over the school year, everyone see's it and I'm so proud of you.  You are so good at math, and the way you love soccer, I am amazed.  I don't know where you got your soccer gene from but I am so glad you love every part of soccer! I really enjoy watching you play soccer, I love watching you light up as you kick that ball down the field, I love that huge smile on your face after you've made a goal, and the way you high five your brother as you trade spots on the field.  I love how at times you are impulsive and just do things, yet at the same time you are cautious and careful and observe before you do things.  You tend to think things through a little bit better than your brother...usually anyway.  I absolutely am impressed with all of your Lego creations and I have no doubt in my mind that you would make a fantastic architect and carpenter! I can see you doing whatever you set your mind to.  I am so proud of who you are, and I love you so very much. 

To my other truly amazing little boy, big boy...Circus Son #2.  Wow.  You've come a long way in six years.  You kicked cancer's ass buddy.  We were both blind sided by cancer, our whole family was.  We were so scared for you.  The hole you would have left if you weren't in our lives...nothing would have ever filled that void.  You've always been a stubborn, fiery little boy, from the moment you were born! You never gave up, you never quit.  You still don't back down.  Sometimes that makes things a bit difficult for all of us, but I understand that's just who you are. You are doing your best, you are learning, and you'll get there.  Some days you are impulsive and the biggest dare devil.  You have given me so many gray hairs, and I treasure every single one of them.  I love hearing you laugh, and hearing you say "Mommy watch this!"  Because I know you are about to do something that is going to scare the crap out of me, but I am happy to know that you are fear less, when we spent so much of your life living in fear as to what the cancer was doing.  You live without fear, and that amazes me.  You are so smart, and I know you have the ability to do so much, you just have to WANT to do it, and finding the thing that makes you want to do things...can be tricky.  But we'll get there.  I love how you never give up and you keep on going and going.  Yet you are so compassionate and caring for others.  The way you worry about other children and anyone who is sick, touches my heart.  You make friends everywhere you go and are such a little charmer. I love you so very much my sweet fighter. Thank you, for being you.

I think this is incredibly accurate on my two little April boys. They've brought April Showers of love into my life, and May flowers always fill my life from their love. I couldn't have ever asked for more wonderful sons, I am beyond honored to be their Mom. 

Happy Birthday to the two most amazing sons in the world.  I love you so very very much. 
Mom Circus

It's A Lego Party

We are gearing up to celebrate the 6th birthday of my twin sons.  Their actual birthday is on Monday, however we are having the party on Sunday.  Why Sunday instead of Saturday?  Because.  That's why.  We were actually supposed to have soccer games today and it would have taken up a huge chunk of the day and would have eaten into party decorating and all that stuff.  Normally I work on Sunday's but with the new boss taking over we are closed on  Sunday so I get a whole weekend off for once.  So it just seemed like a great idea to have the party on Sunday. 

Unfortunately I forgot one important part. 

Sending out party invites. 

I briefly touched on that in my previous post.  Can we say a big giant OOOOPS! My sons have assured me that it's OK that I didn't get to invite kids from their class but I still feel like a big giant ass about it. 

The poor boys NEVER have as big of a turn out at their parties as their sister does.  Their sister had over 30 people at her last party.  (Granted a lot of them were adults, and many were siblings to the kids that my daughter had actually invited, but that's ok, they were all still there and they ALL helped us celebrate my daughter turning 7). 

So this is going to be a fairly small party for my sons, but for them they kind of handle that better.  Plus it's always raining and muddy for their birthday (the joys of being born in April).  So they never have that awesome of a birthday anyway.  They've only been able to have ONE outside birthday  in their 6 years of life, it's always been too wet and muddy for an outside party.  Boo!

The only inside locations in this town that don't cost an arm and a leg, are at either Burger King or Hardees....in small...cramped rooms....NOPE, no thank you I'm good.  I'd rather do their parties in my home. 

So today I've been working my butt off preparing for the party. 

I LOVE birthday parties, I really do! I don't get to go all crazy spoiling my kids throughout the year.  I would prefer to NOT spoil my kids to begin with, so we just do things to make sure they know we love them and think they are super special.  So Christmas, and their Birthday's are super special times at our house.  That's when they get actual presents, and their birthday is made out to be about them, and the time they've had with this family and how much we love and appreciate and celebrate THEM as an individual. 

I don't go broke making a party. 

I shop in advance throughout the year and pick up things as I see them that are on sale or at a great bargain.  The kids and I are always scanning Pinterest for party ideas and themes that they happen to be interested in at the moment.  $60 usually easily covers the cost of all party decorations, party favors, and a lot of that will either go towards food for the party or towards a little extra present. 

Then sometimes depending on what the boys are interested in we'll buy them one BIG present to share, and then a small gift each.  However, this year we bought them each a medium ish gift, and then bought them a few small gifts a piece.  We always try to have at least one or two presents that match the theme of their party. 

We also do not require anyone to bring a present.  If you come to their party it is to help us celebrate the day our child was born.  No gift required for that.  My kids know they will get a gift from mom and dad, and that's ok for them. I read a post a few days ago about how a woman had sent out a big email to family and had a huge demanding list of things for her one year olds first birthday.  I think that's all a little bit insane. 

I probably wouldn't intend a party where I was told I HAD to bring a present (generally we always bring something ANYWAY but being TOLD you HAVE to and what you HAVE to buy is a little ridiculous).  I see nothing wrong with having a themed birthday, generally when a kid has a party THEME you pretty well know what to buy the kid, get something to match the theme.  That's my theory anyway.  Whether it be a book, clothing, toy etc that goes with that theme. However, it's also ok to ask people what their child is in to and what might be a good gift idea.  You might not have ever shopped for a little girl before so might need a tip on what to get them.  (I know my stepdad called me before my daughters party because he had no idea what 7 year old little girls were into).  He ended up doing an excellent job and picked out stuff she was nuts over.  Hair ties, hair bows, head bands, jewelry.  She was pretty happy about that! I hadn't even mentioned any of that stuff when he asked.  I mentioned things like Barbie's, paints, American Girl type accessories (She has the department store knock off variety of one of those dolls and you can find the knock off accessories at the store for a decent price). 

So anyway, gifts are nice but not required if you are invited to one of my children's parties because I understand not everyone CAN afford to bring a gift and that's perfectly fine, I don't want anyone to feel they can't come because they can't afford a gift.  I want your kid to come and have a great time with my children celebrating a day that's special to us. 

I just don't do birthday sleep overs. 

I hate sleep overs.  Hate.  Them.  My sons have had ONE sleep over.  ONE, and I blame their father for THAT ONE.  I had no say in it, he had it all planned out and the kid was in my door before I knew what was happening.  So I made the husband deal with it all. 

My daughter has had several sleep overs and her brothers always have to be pains in the BUTT and drive her nuts so I get to listen to her AND her little friends scream at her brothers to leave them alone and yadda yadda and then hear the boys CRY because their sister is being mean.  OY VEY!

Dear children.  Go sleep over at YOUR friends house, quit asking for them to come over here! (Ok so I'd probably say no to letting my kids stay at some one else's house...my sons have NEVER had a sleep over with anyone other than their Grandma ONE TIME, and the time that two of them stayed with the pastor and his wife while my other son was in the hospital going through chemo.  That's it.  My kids stay with me). 

My daughter though has had a couple of sleep overs at friends houses.  She LOVES sleep overs. 

I prefer the decorating and planning of a good party. 

I go Pinterst NUTS! Wooo!

I pin ALL THE THINGS!

I only end up doing about four of the things, but I pin them all.

Streamers, plates, forks, cups, cupcake stand, table cloths, banners, puff balls and dangly spirals.  Oh yeh.  I love it all. 

I don't go all crazy like some moms do, I've seen some parties that parents throw their kids now days and WOW it's a little bit insane. Also, that's way way way too much money.  I won't even let my kids have a BLOW UP BOUNCE HOUSE at their party and I could actually get one for a really great price.  But I choose not to. 

When I was growing up I had a birthday party EVERY single year until I was 8 years old.  Then I had NO more parties until I was 13.  Then I had that one party and I never had another  "birthday party" again.  I didn't even get a super sweet 16.  Dang.  I don't remember my early birthday parties.  I remember when I was four I got a new swing set and I ran out to swing on it in my pretty poofy birthday dress and I sat on the plastic swing and my dress slipped on the swing and I fell out of the swing backwards.  I cried.  Everyone laughed, I cried more.  I did not like my swing set anymore. 

I remember my 5th birthday because my cousin was born on it.  I was NOT a happy little girl.  At the time I was ticked off because he had RUINED my party (everyone left to go see the new baby).  I was forgotten.  But I got over that quickly enough and went about my life. 

For my 8th birthday I remember my Grandma and my Mother took a LOT of time decorating and making home made punch and making my cake, and making up little sandwiches and stuff for my party and they let me invite several friends over.  It was a great birthday party and I was so happy! Too bad it was my last one until I was 13!

My 13th birthday wasn't too bad.  We rented out the community building where I lived.  I don't remember if many people came though.  I remember it was a pretty good party and I still have some photos from it somewhere. 

When I was 25 my husband and a friend and got together and did a surprise party for me, it was right after our son was diagnosed with cancer and I was so stressed out.  They got together and planned a wonderful night.  Home made spaghetti and salad, and cake and ice cream.  I got balloons, and my favorite alcohol (I'm not big on alcohol, but I do like the occasional once in awhile drink), and a few presents.  It was an awesome little surprise! (Too bad the next week on my husband and I's wedding anniversary we'd get the news our sons tumor was growing and we'd be back to the hospital and he'd have another surgery and start chemo), so my happiness from the week before was short lived. 

Last year I was still recovering from having my appendix removed (on my husband's birthday the month before mine).  I was still sore and miserable a month later when I had my birthday.  However I was feeling good enough I was able to make plans to celebrate mine AND my husband's birthday because I felt horrible for ruining his birthday by ending up in the ER that night because of my appendix.  So we planned an adult only party and had a bonfire in the back yard and had bought just enough alcohol for everyone that was there to have two, and we visited and laughed and just had a good time hanging out as adults.  Husband actually called it his best birthday ever, and I have to agree. 

For the kids, I have to admit I have basically the same set up. 

First.  We pick a THEME. 

(this year the boys wanted a LEGO party, well actually they wanted a Lego Ninjago party but I was like how about we just do a LEGO party instead, and they were like ok that's cool). 

Two, start picking up items here there and everywhere a little at a time.  I usually start with party favors, but this year we aren't really doing party favors. 

I don't go all crazy and buy every thing printed in the chosen theme.  That'd be crazy.  Can you imagine if I had Lego plates, Lego napkins, Lego banner, Lego this that and everything.  It'd be a LOT of Lego print. 

So instead I choose about 4 colors to work with.  For the boys, you can bet there will always be BLUE and RED (their 'colors' since birth) but the other two colors are always subject to change depending on what theme they have chosen.  This year we went with basic colors of the basic Lego's.  Red, blue, green, and yellow. 

I get table clothes in one color, napkins in one color, forks in another, cups in one of the colors and so on.  It all goes together.  I get streamers in each color, and balloons in each color. 

Next, I hit up Pinterest. 

I start designing the stuff that is actually FOR the theme.  Like this year it was drawing out and cutting out Lego men heads, and Lego lettering.  It's enough to let you know what the theme is, without over killing it.  I also let the kids help plan out as much of it as I can.  They get to help with decorating too, I like for them to feel involved in the planning.  I also think it helps them learn how to plan and follow through with a plan, and do nice things for others.  Hopefully they will be able to plan a simple yet fun birthday party for their kids or a friend when they are grown.

We also pick out game ideas and start making those things up (cept I am TOTALLY SLACKING this year so NONE of my planning is going according to plan and I'm still working on things...and the party is tomorrow!!) 

I also like to make a little photo booth if I can.  I've found the kids really enjoy those and it's fun to look back at the silliness of it later on.  Did a dress up photo booth for my daughters Princess party when she was five.  It was a huge hit, everyone loved it.  So I'm doing another photo booth for the boys this year, partially because I never got to take them out for birthday photos this year like I always do!!

Which is another thing on my party planning list I always do.  Usually a month before their birthday I take them out and do a photo shoot.  Then I use those photos to make a cute theme oriented birthday invitation to send to friends and family.  That's where I fell short this year. I did not get photos done, nor did I send out any invites.  BAD BAD BAD MOM!

Then I always decorate everything the night before the party, so I don't have to do it the day of.  (unless the party is outside, in that case I get there a couple hours early and start setting up!)

I usually TRY to make the kids birthday cakes, but the past couple of birthday's I have not.  I have bought them.  I'd like to say I feel bad about it, but that's a lie because I don't feel bad about buying their birthday cakes.  I've been happy with their cakes every year and so have they so that's all that matters. 

Cept, THIS YEAR we almost ended up with NO CAKE! I sent my husband to the bakery today to check on our cake, and lo and behold...they had LOST OUR ORDER FORM!! We were not going to have a cake to pick up in the morning! *GULP*

Thankfully, my husband was able to save the day and put in a new order form.  He told them "It's a good thing I came in tonight to check on things, because if my wife would have came in to get the cake tomorrow...and there was no cake....it would not have been pretty...at all." 

He wasn't lying. 

It would have gotten ugly.  Quickly. 

I would have cried.  I would have bawled.  Do not mess with the cake.

I would have been in FULL BLOWN PANIC INDUCED MODE. 

I tend to get a bit...anxious when it comes to the FINAL prep of birthday parties (It's not a thing I'm proud of it's a bit embarrassing actually!!! I tend to erm...over react slightly....) 

For my daughters third birthday I was up until 2am finishing her party stuff and baking her cake and decorating it.  She wanted a black and white puppy party.  So that's what I did. 

I had JUST finished putting on the black ear of this puppy....and I was so exhausted that as I took my hand back across the cake....I totally slapped the puppy cake across the face and relocated it's frosting ear.   I just broke down and cried my heart out right then and there.  It was awful.  I lost it.  I was about to throw the cake across the room.  Thank God my husband is a lot calmer than I when it comes to birthday's (he hates them and thinks it's silly to celebrate birthday's most of the time, mainly because no one ever did anything for him like this when he was a kid, he had no special birthday's). 

He calmed me down and together we fixed the cake, and it actually didn't look too awful and no one noticed I had slapped a black ear across the white face of this puppy cake, ha! But then all the black frosting turned everyone's mouths black haha. 

So yeh, there is a reason I don't exactly feel bad about NOT making their cakes anymore. 

Let someone ELSE mess it up so I can yell at them. 

Any way though, I DO love birthday parties and planning them and decorating for them.  It's generally a TON of fun.  Though I don't always have as much time as I need, thanks to work, life, kids....haha! They all take up time and that's ok! They come first and party stuff all falls after that somewhere. 

Not everything is quite sat up yet, but these are some photos I took tonight, so pardon any mess or chaos you may see in the photo still.  There's still plenty left to do, but I'm actually pretty laid back about it all.  Or it could be I'm just too exhausted to care (I'm still getting over being sick, and I seem to have developed laryngitis and I'm miserable.  The kids were rotten today and every time I went to get on to them my voice died more and more.  My throat feels soooo weird and it hurts to swallow and eat and ugh, it's miserable.  The husband is enjoying the 'quiet' though.  Jerk face.  I'll make up for me being quiet once this laryngitis is gone! Naaah I can't be upset with him.  The kids and him let me sleep in until 10am and they made me breakfast in bed.  I cannot be upset about that.  They did a very sweet thing because they know I haven't been feeling well.


This is for the photo booth.  I took an old box wrapped it in a bit of left over table cloth and stuck on two small red paper plates and made a giant Lego brick (I was TRYING to make the front door look like a giant Lego but my left over table cloth was a bit short and it didn't look right so I nixed that idea and went in a slightly different direction). 



One half of the dining room.  This is where the food and drink will be, the focal point of the room.  I had two glass vases I scored for a great price and I filled them with my sons' Lego's as decoration.  I also made Lego faces out of yellow pates and popsicle sticks and they are decoration and props for the photo booth.

 
The husband contributed by doing dishes today, and being my arm extensions when I wasn't tall enough, and helping me keep my sanity when I KNEW I had JUST had the tape, or the scissors or the marker.  He's brilliant.  I love him, and I'm glad I married him.  Without him today...I would have lost what few remaining marbles I have left.  Anyway, he also made the big 6 shaped out of Lego's, I appreciate that, it's a nice tough! The kids contributed as many little Lego dudes as they could find, I couldn't say no so there they are!


Several weeks ago we went to Mr. Bulky's it's a candy store at the mall and I found these sweet tart candies in the shape of Lego bricks, so I bought like a pound of them and have saved them for the boys' birthday party.  I almost forgot I had them! (The yellow ones taste like banana and I love them!!)


Lego head dude I drew to use on several different things. 


MOM Circus

Ramblings for the Past Week

Well it has certainly been a crazy week around here.  We're all pretty much sick and miserable because the weather keeps flip flopping on us.  One day you can practically wear your flip flops and almost put the AC on, and the next your back in your winter coat again and contemplating cranking up the heat. It is ridiculous. And makes it impossible to NOT be sick at this time of year.

I caught that lovely new virus that's been going around (it kind of mimics the flu, but when tested you don't have the flu).  It sucks.  PLUS I get loverly spring allergies ONTOP of it all.  Right now, I'm just miserable. 

Plus I work at a place that has heavy smokers (oh yeh...my least favorite thing in the world cigarette smoke...remind me again why I am working there?  Oh yes, because IT'S A JOB).  Thank goodness for allergy medicine that helps me fumble through my allergy filled day just a little bit. 

Also been TRYING to prepare for my sweet twins' sixth birthday party that is this weekend.  Like, SUNDAY (usually the party is on Saturday but they have soccer games and stuff that day).  I haven't got a dog gone thing done.  I have plenty of ideas.  But I am painfully falling short.  The worst part?  I didn't even get around to INVITING anyone to their party!
WORST. 

MOM. 

EVER. 

(yeh remember one of my previous blogs about sometimes winning and losing at this whole "MOM" thing...well this would fall under I AM OBVIOUSLY FAILING PRETTY HARD CORE RIGHT NOW). 

In good news, my husband and I DID remember to go get the boys a birthday present.  We DID get the cake ordered (Um, my husband ordered AND designed the cake...and I hope he listened to what the boys and I told him....so this should be interesting).  We DO have party decorations too. I also DO have a few game ideas too.  That is, however about the extent of the prep that I have done.  OH yes, that's how I slack a lack around here. 

Oh not to mention it looks like a tornado, volcano, hurricane, bomb and end of the world all started and evolved in my house.  I'm not even sure how I'm looking at my computer screen right now as my desk is a complete disaster zone.  If my desk were a state or a town in a state it would likely be getting FEMA attention. 

Items I can see on my desk right now? 

A well "loved" stuffed bunny that one of my sons packs around everywhere as he REALLY loves baby bunnies.  An apple (hey an apple a day keeps the doctor away right?  But I guess that only works if you actually EAT the apple?)  an egg timer or whatever the heck you call them, it's a timer anyway!   There is numerous sheets of paper from my children's back packs (graded papers that they insist I keep for ever and ever, when frankly....I'd rather pitch them.  Not because I don't care, because I DO, and I put their very best work up on the fridge and our "art wall" as well, I just seriously cannot keep EVERY piece of paper they bring home!)  There is a can of frosting with sprinkles (sorry make that two cans).  Don't ask, I have no idea why they are there.  They are neon purple if that helps any?  A notepad, a can of perfume I hastily tossed on the desk this morning as I was getting ready for work in a rush (I'd rather smell my perfume all day than smell like cigarette smoke!!), a bottle of children's Tylenol and a bottle of children's allergy medicine because my kids have been dealing with the crud lately too and from sinus headaches and runny noses and misery!)  A q tip?? WhY??  That's probably a question for my husband, I have no idea why.  There are sheets of foam craft paper, that are for a HOPEFUL Lego themed craft project we will be doing for the boys' birthday party, complete with colorful popsicle sticks cluttering up my desk.  A note pad.  Three snap on insect repellant wrist band thing a ma jigs we bought on sale at the store tonight so hopefully the kids won't get bit by mosquitos while playing soccer!! Some assorted pencils, pens, markers, crayons, dry erase markers, push pins, paper clips, Oh hey I found a $5 bill! Rock on! Oh speaking of rocks here's a handful of gravel for my drive way...erm I mean a handful of VERY pretty rocks my daughter oh so lovingly gave me.  That's just the crap I can see laying directly on top of my desk, don't ask me what's UNDER all of that. Somewhere down under all that is my desk calendar.  Somewhere. I'm not diving under all that right now to find it.  OH hey I did find my battery charger though, kind of need that so I can charge my camera battery for the soccer games tomorrow.  (Kind of couldn't take pics of their last game because the battery died, oopsies). 

My desk is the 'catch all' space in my house, and unfortunately it sits right in the middle of my dining room/living room area so EVERYONE sees my messy desk.  It's kind of become a laughing point at my house.  Everything else in my home will be clean and tidy and organized...cept my desk.  My desk is like that giant white elephant at a party that EVERYONE notices but no one talks about (until lately because well, it's become a big joke). 

I hate my desk.  *sigh*

I still have to bake cupcakes for the birthday party Sunday (yeh see what I did there, subject change! I shall not dwell on the messy scary desk!)  Cupcakes, yeh...cupcakes are nice. 

We have spent the past two evenings outside after the kids did their home work.  The kids love to be outside and we're more than happy to encourage that.  They swing on the swing set, play soccer, ride bikes, play imaginary games and make up imaginary stories (today they were a family of circus performers who traveled the world in their circus train and they only woke up at night because they were part vampire and they would wake up and do all of their acts and then eat waffles and omelets and get back on their train and go to the next destination. )  I have creative children.

Their circus acts were pretty entertaining too. 

One son was a juggler, the other held up the hula hoop so a "tiger" could jump through it.  My daughter did tricks on her bike, and bossed her brothers around on what tricks THEY should try. 

All in all, yep, it was pretty entertaining to watch! I love sitting outside and just watching and listening to my kids play. 

The saying usually goes "Not my monkey's not my circus", well for me?  These ARE my little monkey's and this IS my circus, and I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Speaking of Circus, we DID actually go to the circus over a week ago.  My kids (husband, and mother in law), had all never been to the circus before (well my daughter had but she was just a toddler at the time and didn't remember anything).  So they all had a fantastic time watching all of the acts, and I'm so glad that they did (Well minus the ANIMAL acts which almost ended in a small riot from my children who DID NOT like the animal acts AT ALL, I am raising mini animal activists and I'm ok with that). 

The tiger act that nearly had my daughter rushing down there to knock the trainer in the face (the trainer kept poking the tigers in the face with his stick/whip thing and it was not only pissing the tigers off but SEVERAL people in the audience including my daughter were about ready to go down there and see how THAT GUY liked getting poked in the face with a stick and forced to jump through a hoop, that was on fire.  I admire the tigers for not eating the trainer and having the guts to go through with the act, but it breaks my heart. 


This was one of the clowns, he did a balancing act, and also a juggling act.  Here he's balancing a ladder on his FACE.  Ow.


They put like 4 dirt bikes inside of this iron sphere and they drove around in crazy circles and stuff, sounded like a huge hive of really ticked of bee's.  It was cool though, my sons loved it. 


The elephant act had my kids upset, they said the elephants looked sad, and I agree with them.  I hate watching animal acts at the circus.  This circus had three animal acts (tigers, elephants, and some Spanish horses). 



These two girls came out and did a really cool acrobatics routine that was very impressive.  I don't think my body would have EVER been able to bend and twist like that and hold the positions that they did!


This group came out and they were actually from the Chicago, IL area.  They were some kind of acrobatic act.  Here they got some kids from the audience and then lined them up, one guy took a running start jumped off a trampoline and did flips over all the kids and the rest of his team.  It was pretty cool, though I really liked their jump rope act the best! (below).  They were doing all KINDS of crazy cool things with those jump ropes!



There was also a Romanian acrobatics team (above and below), they were pretty awesome, they used a simple catapult to continually fling this tiny little lady through the air, they did lots of tricks, and they did really good. 



There were the trapeze acts who came out and performed.  This guy in the above pic spent his whole act standing on his head on that bar upside down, or pushing himself up on one arm like in the photo here.  One of my sons was INCREDIBLY worried about this guy and was so sure the guy was going to fall and get hurt. There were also several females up there performing on hula hoop things, and the trapeze swings, and ropes, and those long scarves that they do acts from.  It was super cool.  And no, no one got hurt.  The girl in the below photo is actually hanging from a hula hoop thingy by her ankles/legs.  A few seconds before this she was hanging from her NECK on the hula hoop.  I think my eyes almost bugged out of my head when she did that.  I was like oh my gosh, she's a gonner, crazy girl.


However, I honestly just think the cotton candy was the biggest highlight of their night.  Mmm cotton candy.
9
Stinking circus is CRAZY expensive though.  Thank goodness for those 'free' tickets allowing one kid per paying adult to get in free (if the kid is under 12 years of age that is).  So thankfully my mother in law was able to pay her way in so all three of my kids got in free and I just had to pay a total of $36 for the husband and I to get in.  The kids were lucky we let them share a bag of popcorn ($5, and we ended up with TWO things of cotton candy...that's $10 total there) because MOM didn't understand dad correctly and she ate her daughter's second portion of cotton candy that I was SUPPOSED to hand down to my daughter....poor daughter had ended up sharing her first portion of cotton candy with her Grandma to be a nice sharing child (like we always raise them to be), and then Mommy goes and does a bone head move by eating the last of the cotton candy that was supposed to go to someone else, oops! Communication breakdown that night, ok?  Ha! So the husband felt guilty and bought another batch of cotton candy (and this time MOM didn't eat any of it *sigh*)

This weekend I am thrilled that I get two days off, normally I only get one day off a week, which isn't that bad but in some ways it kind of stinks.  However we work around it.  Today though was my last day under my old boss, and so then on Monday when I go back in I will be working for my new boss.  So that should be interesting.  I've only been there since the end of December so to me, it's not TOO big of a deal, but to the other employees that HAVE been there for years and years, it's a big change for them, and I can see why they would be sentimental about it all.  I'm looking forward to the change and to see how it goes, but am still looking forward to working with everyone I was before.  I don't hate change per say, I like it when it's planned out.  Sudden change, now that bothers me! If I'm prepared for it (or at least no it's coming and I can get in a better mind state for it or whatever, then I'm cool with it).  I like my job so that's a good thing.  Some days, yes are frustrating but that's going to happen no matter where you work.  You just have to go with it and move along.

This spring is shaping up to be Soccer, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, and end of the school year stuff.  FUN! For the most part.

The kids have a Spring Fling coming up at their school this week and I always love going to those with them. Not to mention soccer practice this week, and the boys' ACTUAL birthday is on Monday.  Lots of busy busy going on this week.

Just trying to keep it all together.  Trying. 

One of these days I'll have a day where I can JUST sleep in (hoping tomorrow morning is one of those days! Since we don't have a 9am soccer game). 

Yesterday my husband was mowing the yard and one of my sons asked to "help" him mow the lawn, so he got to carefully help my husband push the mower across the yard several times and he absolutely loved it, he was a happy kid and he felt like he was so grown up.  (I started mowing the grass at MY house when I was 8 years old, and we had a HUUUUUGE yard with many crazy hills, I hated mowing my yard with a burning passion I lost count of how many times I slipped on a hill and almost got my foot chopped off!!  It literally took ALL DAY to mow my yard when I was a child, and I would sob and sob and sob until I threw up when I was told to mow the yard.  I hated it.)  To me, it was torture.  Now I don't mind mowing the yard, it's calming. BUT our yard is MUCH smaller and FLAT.  I don't mow on hills.  Nope.  I'll pass.  I am glad that my husband and son got to have a little bit of bonding time and my son was so happy about getting to 'help'.  We make yard work a FAMILY job not just one person.  While one person is mowing or weed whacking (our weed eater thing a ma jig is not working at the moment which is HIGHLY frustrating so we have to pass on getting the yard weed ate at the moment, boo!!)  Others are picking up sticks, toys, trash, and moving yard furniture and stuff out of the way so that area can be mowed in a few moments. No one gets stuck with the WHOLE job, it's broke down to many different little jobs that we all pitch in to do.

Cruddy photo, taken with my cell phone, but that's one of my little dudes helping Dad push the mower.  Pardon the ugly ditch in the back ground it's awful and we've been wanting to cut it back further for quite awhile, and ew, ignore the trash bag caught in the ditch.  We always get the neighborhood garbage blown into our yard, yay fun times.  I'm always picking up other people's trash out of my yard and it drives me batty! 

 

We've been working on introducing the kids to a lot of different sports/games.  So we're building up our out side toy/game collection.  We have a T Ball stand and bat and ball, we have a little basketball hoop, soccer goal and ball, and now we're wanting to focus on getting them a horse shoe set, I really think they'd enjoy that.  My husband's family is really into horse shoes, especially when it comes to family reunions so they have seen their Dad play horse shoes a few times (and my husband's pretty gosh darn good at it!)  so it's not completely new to them but they've never gotten to play but they get the concept of it.  I want to teach them to play croquet which is something I played when I was growing up, my Grandma taught me how to play.  I also plan on making an out door Tic Tac Toe game, and a few other our door games that I found on the ever awesome Pinterest. 

I guess it's time to hit the hay so I can hopefully have enough energy to clean house, go to soccer games, and bake cupcakes tomorrow!

Here's hoping, ha!

Mom Circus

Some Days I'm Winning, Some Days I'm Losing. This "MOM" thing.

There are days where I'm like YES I rock.  I'm the best mom, ever.  Ok well maybe not EVER but I'm pretty sure I'm rocking the mom today.  This whole parenting, thing, oh yeh...I got it.  Woo hoo go me.  I like those days, those days are nice.  Those are the days where everything goes mostly to plan.  Few melt downs from the kids, not running late, not forgetting anything, my house stays clean, my dogs are well behaved, work goes great, etc etc. 

However, there are the OTHER days.  The days that seem to happen more than the rocking awesome days.  These are the days that are seemingly spit out of the underworld. 

Where NOTHING goes right from the moment my eyes open. 

Over slept, panic.  Forgot to lay the kids clothes out the night before because I thought to myself "Oh I'll have PLENTY of time to do that in the morning, so it's ok to just go ahead and go to bed now".  Please hear my insane laughter now.  Ha.  That's NEEEVER how it works out.  Then I'm scrambling running around finding clothes for the kids to wear.  Circus Son #1 decided to go on a freaking growth spurt so now most of his under wear and jeans don't fit him.  Fantastic kid.  So now I have to rummage through to find the 2-3 pairs of jeans that actually fit him around the waist AND in the legs, and find the under wear that don't dig into his skin all day.  *sigh*  Then they argue about getting dressed. 

Not to mention the slow poking at eating their breakfast.  One day I took a quick shower while the kids were eating their breakfast and my daughter comes sobbing into the bathroom because her brother caused her to get hurt with a SPOON.  I was like..wait?  What?  You got hurt...with a SPOON?  How'd that happen?

Apparently he was teaching her to BEND her spoon, well the particular spoon she was bending broke, and she got cut on the metal. 

Seriously?  Our spoon BROKE?  Crappy cheapo spoon I guess. 

So that ended my shower a lot quicker.  No more bending spoons at the table, Mmmk?  Just eat your cereal and go get dressed!

Then there is extracurricular stuff. 

Last year was a NIGHTMARE with T Ball (or rag ball as it is called here).  My daughter liked playing ball and did pretty well with it.  One of my sons liked it for the most part and had a fairly good time playing as well.  However....there was that ONE SON, who had an EXTREME melt down.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  GAME.  Screaming "I HATE BASEBALL I WANT TO PLAY SOCCER I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE I HATE EVERYONE!!!! AAAAAAH!!!!!!!" 

Oh yeh.  Did I forget to mention I was the team coach?  Mmm Hmm.  Nice. 

Somehow I let him live through baseball season, barely. 

He was the one who wanted to play it in the first place, and the other two decided they'd try it out too. 

You would have thought  I would have learned my lesson after last year but apparently not.  This year the same son begs to play SOCCER.   I allow it.  My other two children think it sounds like a good idea too and want to play, so we fork over the dough to sign them up, and buy cleats, and shin guards, and soccer balls, and a practice net. 

The one son LOVES SOCCER, it's HIS sport.  He loves it.  ADORES IT.  Lives, breathes, sleeps, eats, bleeds SOCCER.  Everything is soccer.  EVERYTHING.  Must have ALL of the soccer things.  He's slightly obsessed.  He comes home from school and has to practice (that's his own idea, I don't push it!)  He practices running laps in our little cul de sac type place.  He has to be the fastest.  He practices being goalie, and works on his foot work and is just IN LOVE with soccer. Which is amazing and makes my heart soar and so happy because we FINALLY found HIS sport (because it OBVIOUSLY wasn't baseball!!) 

My other two kids? 

Oh my word.

Save me now. 

One of them isn't too upset over soccer and likes it well enough, but not enough to willingly practice on his own.  He happily goes to games and plays his heart out and isn't a bad player at all.  He just isn't obsessed with it like dear brother. 

My daughter?  Not a fan of soccer apparently.  Two games ago it was bad. Bad bad.  She did so bad I almost crawled under a bench and died from embarrassment.  It sounds awful of me, but it's the truth. 

I was so embarrassed, because she WASN'T EVEN TRYING.  Not at all.  She literally stood there and did nothing.  When the coach and my husband and I tried to encourage her from the side lines we heard "I DON'T WANT TO PLAY SOCCER!!!!"  OH no.  Not again. 

The other parents were yelling at her (not like YELLING at her, but yelling to try and encourage her to go after the ball and help her team, but alas, it did no good).  My husband and I were yelling to help her know what to do.  "Kick the ball kiddo, you got this! Keep it out of the goal, you can do it!"

She cried all the way home that night.  Cried when she got home.  I was far too upset to talk with her so we avoided each other for about 20min.  So we could both think.  So she could think about what she needed to do next time, and so I could think about how to talk with her about this whole "You are on a team and you need to try your hardest because you are letting down your team, and you have to be a team player when you are on a team" thing. 

FINALLY her and I snuggled up and chatted. 

I told her I didn't expect her to be the best player on the team, I wasn't looking for her to be the most amazing player on the field.  I was looking for her to SHOW ME that she really was TRYING.  I told her I'd rather her try her hardest and fail, then to just stand there and give up and not try at all.  Team mates don't want a team mate that will just stand there, and do nothing. 

So we have been practicing, a LOOOOOT. 

At Saturday's game she blocked 5 of the 7 balls that were kicked towards her.  The two that DID get pasted her would have most likely made it past even the best players on her team. 

I was proud of my daughter! I could tell she was trying, and trying HARD.  She had actually ASKED her coach if she could go in and if she could be the goalie, because she wanted to show how HARD she had been working at home and make it up to her team mates for being a lousy team mate the previous game.  My husband and I were BEAMING from the sidelines and jumping up and down, and we were telling the other parents how hard she had been practicing and how EXCITED she had been to show everyone how hard she had worked and how she WAS a good team mate to have.  The parents just kind of stared at me like...uh huh....

However, I over heard something from the sidelines.  Of course, from the coaches kid. 

"It's not MY fault we're LOSING, I'm not making us LOSE it's HER, she stinks"  (Same kid, and two other kids on the team made similar comments the previous game, it was awful). 

My heart broke. 

My baby girl was out there on that field giving it her ALL and actually doing quite well, and the boy had to go and make comments and put the blame on her.  That's not very TEAM oriented either.  You win and lose as a TEAM not as an individual. She has NEVER played soccer before, and all of the kids cept maybe one other, has played soccer since they were like TWO.  Or who have siblings that have played it and have taught the younger siblings to play, so no, they are FAR from all being on the same playing skill level.  I only expected my daughter to get out there and do HER very best, not try to be as 'wonderful' as the top players on the team.  I wanted her to be amazing, for her.  To know she CAN do new things, and she can try hard and she might find she even ENJOYS playing and isn't as 'bad' as she thinks she is (which for the record, she ISN'T as bad as she THINKS she is, she just needed a HUGE confidence booster and someone to sit down, erm...run around and practice with her and TEACH her how to play the game!) 

My son, also over heard what the boy said.  He looked at me and had a VERY angry/hurt look on his face.  "Mom, they are talking about my sister, that boy is being MEAN and I can't let him be MEAN to my sister!!" 

Before I could stop him he jumped up and yelled at that boy to "STOP TALKING ABOUT HIS SISTER OR ELSE!!!!"  My other son (who didn't have a clue what was going on, but obviously felt the disturbance in the sibling force and knew his presence was required) also jumped up and said "YEH OR ELSE!" 

My heart was conflicted. 

On one hand, I was so proud of my sons for sticking up for their big sister! (You should see them at home trying to kill each other! It's crazy the way they fight, I often think they absolutely hate each other and that I've failed COMPETELY as a loving and nurturing mother).  So when they DEFEND each other against someone else I'm all like "Oh thank God they don't hate each other!" I've always hoped my children would be there for each other to help each other when perhaps I'm not around.  It's good to know they DO think about each other and don't want anyone being mean to each other.

However, I'm then like "Oh crap..boys, we don't talk like that and just sit down and watch your sister play, she's doing a really good job today and we should be really proud of her so improving so much and trying so hard, Yay!!  GO BLUE TEAM!" 

Moms walk a fine line between ups and downs throughout the course of a parenting day/night. 

Some days it feels like you are damned if you do and damned if you don't on darn near any decision you make.  Do something to make one child happy, and you will inadvertently make the other one or two unhappy.  Then you are like, well I shouldn't be focusing all my time on making them happy, they have to learn to sort things out for themselves.  So you let them.  Only to find them beating the tar and feathers out of each other and you are like "OMG! I've created little meanies!!"  So of course you have to break up the fight before someone seriously gets hurt. 

My kids are at that age where they are really branching out into thing that THEY specifically like.  Which means, it may not be the same thing the other one(s) like.  Which is ok! It's good for them to branch out and find where their interests lay.

However, it hurts as a parent, as a mom...to see ONE child shining and the other two...not so much.  Or just one not shining.  You want ALL of your kids to shine, but you have to realize they are probably NOT all going to shine in the same things.  It may take them a few years to find "THE THING" they are good at, but they WILL be good at something, they will.  And when they find it, you'll know! Be there for them support them at it.  IF it's a sport, go for it.  If it's an art of some sort, go for it.  Just be present and support them.  Let them shine at what they are good at.  Some days it's hard to make each child feel special, because some days are just tough all around.  I know I personally don't feel 'special' a majority of the time, so how can I make my KIDS feel like they are special all the time.  It's hard work, but some how, we get by.  At the end of the day they are HEALTHY, happy, clean, and they know they are LOVED by their parents. 

It is so easy to be out and about and see other kids with their parents and instantly compare your self, your kids....to them. Which is silly, especially since chances are you don't know that person at all. 

I had a rough start to this whole parenting thing.  Being tore down and bullied around by other moms is the worst feeling in the world.  It completely sucks.  It's soul draining.  Makes you feel like absolute dirt and like God MUST have made a mistake in deciding you should be a mom.  It hurts to feel like that. 

It took me a long time to get through that.  A LONG TIME.  Of course I was already feeling down and out from my youngest son fighting cancer, and then dealt with the hurt from some really angry moms who didn't even "know" me.  That stuff hurts, and it hurts deep and messes with you.  Being a parent is hard.  Being a BULLIED parent is tough, being a mom to a kiddo with CANCER is SERIOUSLY FREAKING UNDENIABLY HARD (trust me I can't even form enough WORDS to relate to you how hard that alone is!!), being the mom of TWINS is rough, being the mom of three kids under two is CRAZY (at the time, but as they get older and you get more experience under your belt it isn't bad at all having three kids that close). 

Everyone faces a tough battle.  EVERYONE.  I don't care how easy and perfect they SAY their life is.  It isn't.  They have struggles, we all do.  Some people are just more real about their struggles than others.  It's ok to be real in your struggles.  You don't have to be perfect. You DON'T have to hold it all together all of the time.  It IS ok for your children to see you cry because you are just feeling lost, over whelmed, hurt, broken.  It is ok to lose your composure every once in awhile.  It happens, we're all human.  We aren't robots.  WE FEEL THINGS.  We feel hurt, anger, despair, fear, hopelessness, gratitude, joy, happiness, excitement, peace, serenity, thankfulness, every emotion...we FEEL them and we feel them a lot, and sometimes all of those emotions hit at once! IT'S OK. 

Don't worry if you are enough for your children.  YOU ARE.  Just love them.  Hold them.  Snuggle them.  You don't have to be rich, you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to be a Harvard grad to be the best parent ever.  Just be YOU.  Just love them.  Be human, be real. 

It's too exhausting to try and be everyone else.  How can we teach our children to "be who they are" when we, as moms are struggling to be OUR selves.  We're too busy trying to play the perfect Pinterest Mommy, putting on a show for Facebook.  Life, isn't about that.  Life doesn't happen on Facebook, not REAL life anyway.  That happens at home, in real life. 

I've been thinking lately now that my daughter is ALMOST just 10 years away from being eighteen (yes I think that far ahead, hush up those ten years will fly be TOO QUICK!) 


I think at times I will be lost when my kids move out and are on their own.  That I will be completely and totally lost without them.  Then I'm like that's silly.  You are still you.  Get out and DO stuff, get back what you sat aside for awhile to raise your kids.  You didn't forget it, you just chose another priority.  But I really feel you should always make time for the things you love doing, even if it is just something small, still do that thing.  If you love to randomly take photos or whatever just do it.  If you love to sew, it's ok TRUST ME you can still find time to do it, even if only once a week.  If it's something you have always loved and treasured, continue to love and treasure it because it may be the only outlet you have for the next 18 years! ha!

Have I lost myself as a mom?  I mean, am I who I was before?  No obviously not and that's ok.  You grow, you change every day whether you have kids or not.  Your life experiences change you, it's called growth, and growth is good.  However there is still a "YOU" in there amongst all of that, a you that's been there since you were born.  A spark.  Something that has always just made YOU who you are. 

How many of us the moment our baby is born...lose that spark?  We lock it up, and put it away.  Thinking we can't have that anymore because we're a mom now.  We have to act and be a certain way.  Society demands we do things a certain way, because if we don't we're a bad mom.  We cannot be a bad mom, ever.  Must always be the perfect mom (at least when people are looking, right?)  I don't know why that is...but it just seems to happen.  Suddenly it's competition.  Other moms, the enemy.  Your child, is the best, the top no matter what.  You have to win.  How does that happen?  WHEN  exactly does that happen?  WHY does it happen?  What EXACTLY are we trying to 'win' here anyway?   

Having a child doesn't mean giving up who YOU are.  Yes it may mean no more clubbing on the weekends, no more weekend get aways with the girls (or not as many as you had before or whatever).  (My life was void of all that before I had kids, sooo yeh...haha). 

I have always been adventurous, up to trying new things going new places, meeting people, being spontaneous.  Once my daughter was born, that went away.  When the twins were born, it all but DIED.  The twins are/were such high maintenance and required such strict routine that being spontaneous was IMPOSSIBLE.  With so much going on at the time (one sons cancer, the others seizures, my daughters sudden speech struggles), I had my plate full with more than I could handle, and it was hard.  SO VERY FREAKING HARD. 

My little sister, bless her heart, is the mom of two young and totally handsome boys.  The oldest just turned a year old last month.  I love my sister and my nephews, they are fantastic and I am blessed to have them in my life.  My little sister is ten and a half years younger than me, and she was around here and there for some of the things we have been through since my daughter was born almost 8 years ago.  However, she's missed a LOT as she didn't live near me. 

She lives with our Mother currently.  She has quite a bit of help from my Mother, and that's wonderful.  I WISH I would have had that help when I had my kids.  I did not.  I had no help (well ok I had my husband and he DID help but he was also trying to work his butt off constantly to try and support our family, as was I).  So it was just the two of us.  LOTS of struggles.  Especially after the twins were born.  The twins just brought a WHOLE new level of crazy circus to our life, but they brought so much STRENGTH, and LOVE, and wonderfulness into our life that I can't imagine NOT being there. 

I still wish I would have had help from my family though.  It hurts knowing we didn't get that help, that physical support/help.  Unfortunately there were situations out of our control that prevented my Mother from being able to help us like she wanted.  Not to say she wasn't there over the phone! I talked to her daily!! Still do!

Some day, I hope my little sister looks back and appreciates having her Mother right there to help when needed.  To pitch in when she just needs a break and needs to step out of the house to regain her composure.  I never had that.  I had to face it all, all of the time.  There was no break for me.  No pause button.  I had to be "ON" all of the time, and it was EXHAUSTING. 

But I made it.  I'm still making it.  Some days, just barely.  But I'm making it. My husband has been both a source of great frustration, and of great help and he's my team mate.  Some days, he's the team mate I want to strangle, and the other days he's the team mate I want to hug and never let go.  I'm thankful to not be going through this journey alone.  I'd be terrified out of my mind.  I don't know how my Mother raised me for all the years she did on her own (and didn't strangle me). 

So tonight.  I will rest.  I will think about what needed to be done before I went to sleep.  Like laying out the kids clothes for tomorrow, which I haven't done, and probably won't do, and will regret in the morning.  But I'm exhausted right now.  It feels like I swallowed an angry molten lava porcupine and I'm freezing to death, so that's great.  Tomorrow I will wake up, get my kids ready for school, feed them, and get them on the bus, and race to work.  I will work my butt off for the next 6 or 7 hours just to come home and rush around to get supper on the stove, dishes caught up, laundry caught up, and all of that other fun stuff, before my sons have their scout meeting.  When they get home we'll do supper, and home work and rush to boy scouts.  We'll come home do bath time, snuggle, and tuck them in for bed.  The day will have rushed by....and I'll be exhausted again.  But some how I will feel at peace.

I have my children, and they have me.  God did not make any mistakes. 

Mom Circus