I find myself now being the age of thirty, a mom of a daughter who will be turning eight in September, and I am the mom of twin sons who are almost six and a half years old. I listen. A lot. What exactly am I listening to? I am listening to my children play. Playing inside, playing outside in their own back yard and with the children in the neighborhood. It has reminded me of how things were when I was a child. Now this isn't so much a post of how things have changed from when I was a child, which granted there are a LOT of things that have changed since I was a child, that's not my main focus here.
I want the neighborhood kids (and my own kids) to know...I'm listening. I'm watching. Not in a creepy way, not in a mean either, not a nosey or bossy manner either. I'm just listening, out of the ears of a mom. I hear a lot of things. Some of the things make me laugh, some of the things make me cringe (swear words), and some of the things I don't like (hearing you be not so nice to another child). I'm listening to you all. I hear your giggles, I hear your "watch me!!" I hear your cries when one of the younger ones has a bike wreck, or the rough housing gets a little too rough and someone gets a little hurt. Skinned knees, and boo boo's are a part of childhood.
What I find interesting in my neighborhood is the variety. I am blessed to live in a neighborhood that has quite a bit of children. Various ages, their are a few toddlers, and a baby, a couple of preschoolers, most are all school age. There is at least two kindergartners, three or four first graders, five second graders, a couple of third graders, and the rest are fourth and up. There are some Junior high kids, and a few high school age to. So I get to hear and see a variety of interaction and conversations. You don't see the "littles" (the tiniest kiddos) out so much as you do the children from about Kindergarten-4th grade. Those are the ones you really see the most. Those are the ones riding bikes, playing tag, playing hide and seek, wrestling, swinging, playing soccer, playing football, climbing trees, and talking about their favorite football games or packing around their favorite baby dolls or Barbies'.
I see the age group of the nine and ten and eleven year olds, and I'm like...wow...I totally forgot how awkward that age was! You are still a kid, but not quite a teenager. The awkward preteen age. You are torn between still playing with Barbie's, and trying to hang out with your 'cooler' teenage sister (who clearly doesn't want you hanging around with them). SO you are stuck. Where do you fit in? Do you play with the little ones? Yes, and no. You kind of boss them around, and tease them a little, trying to be cool, but knowing you DO also still want to play and be a kid still. You are torn between trying to dress nice, and not giving two cents if you get covered in mud, grass, and leaves. Trying to play with the boys like you always have...but also holding back a little because it's starting to get a little weird now playing with the boys. The comments older siblings make as they go by, a snicker, a "hahaha look at your new boooyfriend", or "Aww look who you are hanging out with, the BAAAABIES" I hear those comments. I see the look on your face. A cross between hurt, and anger, and frustration, and confusion. Why does it matter if you are hanging out with the little kids? But at the same time...you don't know where you fit in.
I forgot how hard the preteen stage was. Looking back, I don't miss it. I remember always being a tom boy. I LOVED playing in the mud, catching snakes, and frogs, climbing trees, getting covered in mud and having crazy hair and not caring how I looked. I can honestly say I was able to live in my care free world until I was about 13 when suddenly how I viewed myself...and my world and the sudden way things were changing. I soooo out of place. Granted, puberty started for me when I was ten years old and that was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I felt like my childhood was being robbed. However, I still managed to be ME. Minus one week out of each month you hardly saw me, which sucked. I hid out in my room and wouldn't leave the house. It's hard to ride a bike when your pad keeps shifting and you end up with a big bloody blotch on your butt and your friends start making comments and making fun of you because they haven't hit that mile marker in their lives yet. Lucky them. When you are invited swimming, and you are all like...naah...that's ok I don't feel like it...(even though you are dying to go swimming!!) But your mother doesn't feel you are ready for tampons (of course she's right), and pads and pools don't mix very well. So no swimming. It takes a couple of years for most of your friends to "catch up" and understand what you've been going through since you were ten (my 10th birthday what a magical and wonderful day that was, haha...thanks Mother Nature, you are cruel).
I remember one time a pad fell out of my pocket, and a kind...and meaning well neighbor returned it to me...in front of my friends. I nearly DIED. I convinced the littler ones that it was a bag of cotton candy, and no they couldn't have any (where that brilliant idea came from...I've no idea). I was mortified, I felt like I was going to die, I ran into my house and didn't come back out. Fun times.
So yeh...I get how weird the preteen years can be. Your body starts to change. You aren't a child anymore, but you aren't yet a teenager either. Your parents have more expectations for you but yet still treat you like your a kid. It's tough. You are struggling with which way to dress. Do you dress more like your big sister now? Or do you still wear Disney clothes (even if they are super cute!). Where do you fit in?
You start shifting from shopping in the kids section, to the Juniors section. You start doing one of the most heart breaking things...giving up your Barbie's, your baby dolls. I saw you as you lovingly gave away toys you probably hadn't played with for a little while. But I saw your face when you saw the other younger girls playing with them. It was kind of tough. You knew you did a good thing...but it's like giving up a part of yourself and starting over.
It's ok though. There will be new things. Whispering and giggling about boys (I know you've already started that, I've heard your giggles and red cheeks and you sit in a neighbors lawn talking). You'll find new more "grown up" things to collect and treasure rather than just your baby dolls. And it's ok if you still have a few special stuffed animals on your bed, I bet your big sisters have them too, even if they don't admit it.
My daughter will be there soon. She's going to be eight next month, and already tries to act way older than what she is. She adores you older girls. Even when you are bossing her around and she doesn't really REALIZE you aren't really being THAT nice to her. You aren't necessarily being MEAN but you aren't really being nice either. She doesn't notice, she just wants to be your friend and play with you because she thinks your amazing. She looks up to you. She loves the moments where you are still "kid" enough to actually play with her, even if it is just until your big brother or big sister walks by and you suddenly act "too cool" for the little kids and get bossy with them. I get it. I've been there. You just want to impress the teenagers, I know how that is.
Don't wish to grow up too quick. It's ok to savor being young. Enjoy it for as long as you can. The stages of childhood are many, and they never last long, though to you they may seem to last FOREVER. They really don't, and I bet if you ask your mom she'll tell you that your childhood has flown by way too quickly.
The newborn phase, the toddler stage, the preschool stage, the young school age stage, the older school age preteen stage, the Jr. High stage, the HIGH SCHOOL OMG YOU ARE ALMOST AN ADULT STAGE!!! Followed by college stage, get a job, be a grown up, pay your bills, fall in love if you want, start a family if you choose stages.....and wash, rinse repeat stages with your own children. Followed by growing old and all of those stages to come (Hey I don't know much about those stages, I'm only 30 and so far 3o isn't bad! Though hey, thanks for making me feel old kiddos, that does not make a mama feel great, haha!)
Just know...I'm listening. I'm watching. When I'm outside watching my kids play and interact with everyone...I'm listening. I remember what it was like, I've been there. Hang in there kids (girls and boys alike) You'll come out on the other side of things, I promise! It'll be ok. There are some tough moments ahead, but you are all tough kids, you'll get through it.
Mom Circus
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Monday, August 3, 2015
Unplugging and Enjoying Life
Kids giggling, the sounds of bicycles on the road, dogs barking, the sounds of cars coming and going. A lawn mower a few yards down. The distant whirr of car tires on the high way near our neighborhood. The almost hypnotic sound of the cicada's in the background of it all, just droning on and on and on. A flicker of the first evening lightning bugs as they start to blink, and wink at us. Their own version of Morse coding. The sun gently setting and slowly changing the colors of the sky above us. A very small gentle breeze just enough, to cool you as you sit outside and drink your Cherry Coke.
That was the setting for my evening tonight. I worked a double shift today and got home a little before eight and it was still day light, so the kids and I went outside and they had an enjoyable time riding their bikes and playing with the other neighborhood kids. I love letting my kids play outside until the street lamps start coming on, and even then I will still allow them to play (once they park their bikes) when it's finally too dark to ride. They will play tag and other games with the neighborhood games, while the light is all but quickly vanishing and you can just barely make out the people in front of you. They are good memories and fun ways to spend an evening.
We have just seventeen days left here until school starts, just a little over two weeks. This summer has literally flown by! We didn't get to do EVERYTHING we had planned. There was no zoo trip this summer, which is a bummer. We didn't get to go out of state to visit family like we had planned either. We didn't get the camping trip in either (though it is planned for September, as it will be a little cooler than and my husband and his mom don't do well in heat, so we had to plan that camping trip a little later so no one got sick from the heat).
However, there has been swimming and adventures at the lake, hiking at the lake (though we didn't get to check out the trails like I had wanted to), we went to the public pool several times, we have BBQ'd with neighbors and friends, had that water gun fight in the back yard like we wanted to. I'm thinking we'll still have that ice cream party again like we had last year, but it might be after school starts or right before. One last hoorah!
I read an article (or rather watched a video that went with an article) about what our memories of childhood, and our parents/grandparents memories of childhood is like compared to that of our CHILDREN'S childhood memories.
I was born in 1984. I was a small child in the late 80's so I honestly don't remember a WHOLE lot about the 80's. I remember I never used a car seat. Ever. I remember my Grandma took me to all kinds of Circus's and Zoo's, and Exotic animal places, we explored caves too. I remember more things from the 90's. They took me mushroom hunting and taught me how to pick the right wild mushrooms, how to pick wild greens, where to find the best wild onions, taught me how to identify snakes and turtles, they took me to pick black berries, blueberries and gooseberries. My Grandma and Mother made me help with the sheep farm my Grandma had (and chickens). I helped bottle feed lambs, I milked goats (I grew up on fresh goats milk!!), I fed chickens, collected eggs, watched as chickens were prepped for cooking (ya know complete with head chopping, feather plucking....all that joyful stuff). I watched Deer get prepped for skinning, and cutting down to be processed.
I helped in the garden. I helped shovel sheep manure and loaded it into the truck to fertilize the veggie gardens, and the flower gardens. I helped plant flowers, I helped plant strawberries, and corn, and all kinds of vegetables in our HUGE garden. I helped collect grapes from our grape vine. I helped snap green beans, and helped shuck corn and helped prep things to be canned.
I ran bare foot through my yard without hesitation. I drank from the water hose with wild abandon. My Mother used to chase me around the yard with the water hose spraying me in the summer on the hottest of days. It was so much fun!
I remember playing on my swing set for YEARS and YEARS. Pretending it was anything from a pirate ship, to a space ship, to my house, a train, an air plane, whatever I needed it to be to fit my wildest fancy...that's what my swing set was. I used to rake up a huge pile of leaves and jump in it repeatedly until I fell asleep in it (leaving my Mother and Grandmother to freak out and search for me all over the place unable to find me until I woke up and wandered into the house wondering why they were freaking out).
I played at the creek, I went fishing, I climbed trees, I skinned my knees so many times riding my bike It's a wonder I have knees left at all. I played baseball and tag and all kinds of crazy games with the other kids in my neighborhood.
We camped outside, we told scary ghost stories by a fire, we played at the local park until dark. I explored every inch of the property my Mother owned when I was growing up (not much, 2.5 acres but it seemed like so much more!!). I was always up to something! I would go outside first thing of a morning and not come back in to STAY until it was dark. I would come in go to the bathroom, get a drink, grab a bite to eat (if I wasn't sitting in the middle of the garden in the summer with a bucket of water eating the fresh veggies that were growing there!!)
I loved 90% of my childhood. I can easily say that I had a pretty good childhood, regardless of some of the not so good parts, but honestly...the good really does out weigh the bad. It was simple easy times. My Mother didn't have to breathe down my neck every two seconds. She didn't have to be GLUED to me. I wasn't an idiot. I wasn't a sissy. I knew my boundaries. I played outside by myself from the time I was three years old. I wasn't allowed to leave my YARD until I was like eight though.
I have lots of fun things to look back on from my childhood! My Mother didn't bend over backwards to make my summers "memorable". If my Grandma wanted us to do something fun together, we did, and it really was a lot of fun! Mostly, my summers were spent just being a KID and using my imagination. I was an only child until I was ten and a half years old so I HAD to keep myself occupied because there was no way in HECK my Mother was going to spend all of her day keeping ME occupied and playing with me.
I had a HUGE imagination, which is something I'm noticing my kid seem to seriously lack. I mean, yes they DO have an imagination and they do come up with awesome things, but their imaginations are NOTHING like what mine were when I was little. They don't imagine like I did at that age. They are for the most part...quite literal. Now they are way more imaginative than SOME KIDS that I know that are there age.
My daughter always wants me to play with her, which is fine I don't MIND playing with her of course, but it wouldn't hurt her to come up with her own creative things to play either.
When I was watching the video today (check it out HERE) it really dawned on me...
So many kids do NOT have the memories my age group had when we were growing up.
So tonight, I asked my kids a question that was asked in the video.
What is your favorite thing to do? How do you like to have fun?
My kids all answered with:
"WE LOVE TO PLAY!!"
I asked them HOW they liked to play. They replied back with
"We really like to play outside mom."
I asked them what they liked to play outside.
They responded with things like "Riding our bikes and having bike races, riding our scooters and skateboards, playing tag, wrestling with all of the neighborhood kids, water gun fights, playing hide and seek or tag in the dark, going to the park too!"
My kids listed off a whole slew of things they enjoy doing.
They never mentioned video games or cartoons. I was THRILLED!! Because trust me, my kids DO play video games and they DO watch cartoons. I was honestly expecting "PLAY VIDEO GAMES!!!" To be the FIRST thing that flew out of both of my sons mouths. I was so happy when it was not!
They also included things like going to the zoo, going to the circus, going to the lake, going swimming, going on road trips, fishing, hiking, playing board games with mom and dad as some of their favorite activities.
Apparently I'm doing something right. I hope.
As long as their childhood memories when they are older do not just involve them looking back and going "Wow. All we did was play video games...."
We want our kids to be out in nature. It's ok to get a few skinned knees, and a few mosquito and chigger bites. It's ok to get muddy from head to toe! I mean yes, technology can be nice. Heaven knows I love my Facebook and my Blogging time. I don't really care about my cell phone much, it's ok...but I'm not obsessed with it. Technology is just a nice little extra thing, not something our family HAS GOT TO HAVE or we'll go crazy. I guess we like things a little simpler than some families. We do put a lot of focus on family time and making memories together.
One of our favorite things is to go to Good Will and dig through the board games to see what we can find. For $2 per game, it's often fun to see what you can find! We're getting a really nice collection of games! (Which is great considering when my mother in law moved out last year she took all of our board games). Thanks to friends and family and Good Will we've built up our board game collection again! We love having family game nights.
We pop up some popcorn, get our favorite drinks, and favorite treats. We play several board games, watch a movie together, have a giant tickle fight or goofy wrestling match or pillow fight, and then by that point we're all just exhausted and it's time for bed. But there is tons of laughter and good times!
Recently at Good Will we picked up two board games. We found and old Polly Pocket board game that my daughter is CRAZY over (I was in LOVE with Polly Pockets when I was little! They were so fun!) We also found a Clue Jr. game! I have always loved the game of Clue, and Clue Jr. is just perfect for the kids. These old board games are a treasure in our house. (See several photos above this paragraph of our two new board games)
Yes we often bust our the Kinect and the games that go with it, or the Wii, and they are fun. Those devices are nice when it's too hot or too cold or too rainy to run and play and be active outside. So the kids can be active and have fun INSIDE instead. I'm also ok with Mine Craft, if given limits. Not a get on and play ALL DAY LONG type of thing. Cartoons can be ok too! Again...just not ALL DAY LONG. We prefer the older cartoons too. My kids have always been obsessed with the classic cartoons. Things like what my MOTHER grew up on, and what I watched too. Boomerang was always a favorite channel of ours when we had Dish while my Mother in Law was living with us.
Currently my kids are camped out in the living room in their blanket forts. They are enjoying sleeping in the living room tonight (and like they do most nights during the summer actually). It's fun to camp out with them. We read their R.L. Stine chapter books (other awesome memories from my childhood!) and we giggle and laugh and make silly faces together.
Soon soccer and foot ball practices will start, and my daughters Girl Scout stuff will be more active, so things will get busy. Family nights and "unplugging" will be even more important. I want my kids to look forward to spending time together as a family and not being so technology dependent NOW so maybe when they are preteens/teens they *MIGHT* not rely on or beg for the technology so much. Realize it's not necessarily a BAD thing, but can become a problem if misused or put as the most important things in their lives.
I've been more lax with the video games and cartoons this summer than what I wanted. However, when they go to their Grandma's house during the week...she kind of lets them play whatever they want all day so they leave her alone and aren't fighting. Which is why I'm looking forward to school starting. The kids know that there will be NO video games during the week, only on Friday or Saturday night and only for a set time limit. FAMILY time will be throughout the week, and be longer than video game time. Family time can be squeezed in throughout the day. Working together in the kitchen to pack lunches or make breakfast, talking at the bus stop, giggling over a snack after school while they work on home work, talking about things at the supper table (we have a "talk jar" that has different questions that can be asked and we have to each come up with our own answer which is a great way to get kids to THINK about situations and things). Time together comes at bedtime when we read a story together, and curl up together and talk about our day and what we want to look forward to for the next day, or talk about the things that are bothering or worrying us. The little things. Little things that technology can't do. Be more human, give us a human connection. Electronics can't hold us and give us warm hugs, electronics can't tuck us in just right and make sure we have our favorite stuffed animal and give good night hugs and kisses. Electronics can distract us from what is important, from what is right in front of us.
If you watch the video, you will hear the children of today saying things like "I just zone out...I don't even know how long I've been playing...I'm just not there anymore..."
That's scary.
I want my children to be present, and in the now. Not lost in cyber space.
Mom Circus
That was the setting for my evening tonight. I worked a double shift today and got home a little before eight and it was still day light, so the kids and I went outside and they had an enjoyable time riding their bikes and playing with the other neighborhood kids. I love letting my kids play outside until the street lamps start coming on, and even then I will still allow them to play (once they park their bikes) when it's finally too dark to ride. They will play tag and other games with the neighborhood games, while the light is all but quickly vanishing and you can just barely make out the people in front of you. They are good memories and fun ways to spend an evening.
We have just seventeen days left here until school starts, just a little over two weeks. This summer has literally flown by! We didn't get to do EVERYTHING we had planned. There was no zoo trip this summer, which is a bummer. We didn't get to go out of state to visit family like we had planned either. We didn't get the camping trip in either (though it is planned for September, as it will be a little cooler than and my husband and his mom don't do well in heat, so we had to plan that camping trip a little later so no one got sick from the heat).
However, there has been swimming and adventures at the lake, hiking at the lake (though we didn't get to check out the trails like I had wanted to), we went to the public pool several times, we have BBQ'd with neighbors and friends, had that water gun fight in the back yard like we wanted to. I'm thinking we'll still have that ice cream party again like we had last year, but it might be after school starts or right before. One last hoorah!
I read an article (or rather watched a video that went with an article) about what our memories of childhood, and our parents/grandparents memories of childhood is like compared to that of our CHILDREN'S childhood memories.
I was born in 1984. I was a small child in the late 80's so I honestly don't remember a WHOLE lot about the 80's. I remember I never used a car seat. Ever. I remember my Grandma took me to all kinds of Circus's and Zoo's, and Exotic animal places, we explored caves too. I remember more things from the 90's. They took me mushroom hunting and taught me how to pick the right wild mushrooms, how to pick wild greens, where to find the best wild onions, taught me how to identify snakes and turtles, they took me to pick black berries, blueberries and gooseberries. My Grandma and Mother made me help with the sheep farm my Grandma had (and chickens). I helped bottle feed lambs, I milked goats (I grew up on fresh goats milk!!), I fed chickens, collected eggs, watched as chickens were prepped for cooking (ya know complete with head chopping, feather plucking....all that joyful stuff). I watched Deer get prepped for skinning, and cutting down to be processed.
I helped in the garden. I helped shovel sheep manure and loaded it into the truck to fertilize the veggie gardens, and the flower gardens. I helped plant flowers, I helped plant strawberries, and corn, and all kinds of vegetables in our HUGE garden. I helped collect grapes from our grape vine. I helped snap green beans, and helped shuck corn and helped prep things to be canned.
I ran bare foot through my yard without hesitation. I drank from the water hose with wild abandon. My Mother used to chase me around the yard with the water hose spraying me in the summer on the hottest of days. It was so much fun!
I remember playing on my swing set for YEARS and YEARS. Pretending it was anything from a pirate ship, to a space ship, to my house, a train, an air plane, whatever I needed it to be to fit my wildest fancy...that's what my swing set was. I used to rake up a huge pile of leaves and jump in it repeatedly until I fell asleep in it (leaving my Mother and Grandmother to freak out and search for me all over the place unable to find me until I woke up and wandered into the house wondering why they were freaking out).
I played at the creek, I went fishing, I climbed trees, I skinned my knees so many times riding my bike It's a wonder I have knees left at all. I played baseball and tag and all kinds of crazy games with the other kids in my neighborhood.
We camped outside, we told scary ghost stories by a fire, we played at the local park until dark. I explored every inch of the property my Mother owned when I was growing up (not much, 2.5 acres but it seemed like so much more!!). I was always up to something! I would go outside first thing of a morning and not come back in to STAY until it was dark. I would come in go to the bathroom, get a drink, grab a bite to eat (if I wasn't sitting in the middle of the garden in the summer with a bucket of water eating the fresh veggies that were growing there!!)
I loved 90% of my childhood. I can easily say that I had a pretty good childhood, regardless of some of the not so good parts, but honestly...the good really does out weigh the bad. It was simple easy times. My Mother didn't have to breathe down my neck every two seconds. She didn't have to be GLUED to me. I wasn't an idiot. I wasn't a sissy. I knew my boundaries. I played outside by myself from the time I was three years old. I wasn't allowed to leave my YARD until I was like eight though.
I have lots of fun things to look back on from my childhood! My Mother didn't bend over backwards to make my summers "memorable". If my Grandma wanted us to do something fun together, we did, and it really was a lot of fun! Mostly, my summers were spent just being a KID and using my imagination. I was an only child until I was ten and a half years old so I HAD to keep myself occupied because there was no way in HECK my Mother was going to spend all of her day keeping ME occupied and playing with me.
I had a HUGE imagination, which is something I'm noticing my kid seem to seriously lack. I mean, yes they DO have an imagination and they do come up with awesome things, but their imaginations are NOTHING like what mine were when I was little. They don't imagine like I did at that age. They are for the most part...quite literal. Now they are way more imaginative than SOME KIDS that I know that are there age.
My daughter always wants me to play with her, which is fine I don't MIND playing with her of course, but it wouldn't hurt her to come up with her own creative things to play either.
When I was watching the video today (check it out HERE) it really dawned on me...
So many kids do NOT have the memories my age group had when we were growing up.
So tonight, I asked my kids a question that was asked in the video.
What is your favorite thing to do? How do you like to have fun?
My kids all answered with:
"WE LOVE TO PLAY!!"
I asked them HOW they liked to play. They replied back with
"We really like to play outside mom."
I asked them what they liked to play outside.
They responded with things like "Riding our bikes and having bike races, riding our scooters and skateboards, playing tag, wrestling with all of the neighborhood kids, water gun fights, playing hide and seek or tag in the dark, going to the park too!"
My kids listed off a whole slew of things they enjoy doing.
They never mentioned video games or cartoons. I was THRILLED!! Because trust me, my kids DO play video games and they DO watch cartoons. I was honestly expecting "PLAY VIDEO GAMES!!!" To be the FIRST thing that flew out of both of my sons mouths. I was so happy when it was not!
They also included things like going to the zoo, going to the circus, going to the lake, going swimming, going on road trips, fishing, hiking, playing board games with mom and dad as some of their favorite activities.
Apparently I'm doing something right. I hope.
As long as their childhood memories when they are older do not just involve them looking back and going "Wow. All we did was play video games...."
We want our kids to be out in nature. It's ok to get a few skinned knees, and a few mosquito and chigger bites. It's ok to get muddy from head to toe! I mean yes, technology can be nice. Heaven knows I love my Facebook and my Blogging time. I don't really care about my cell phone much, it's ok...but I'm not obsessed with it. Technology is just a nice little extra thing, not something our family HAS GOT TO HAVE or we'll go crazy. I guess we like things a little simpler than some families. We do put a lot of focus on family time and making memories together.
One of our favorite things is to go to Good Will and dig through the board games to see what we can find. For $2 per game, it's often fun to see what you can find! We're getting a really nice collection of games! (Which is great considering when my mother in law moved out last year she took all of our board games). Thanks to friends and family and Good Will we've built up our board game collection again! We love having family game nights.
We pop up some popcorn, get our favorite drinks, and favorite treats. We play several board games, watch a movie together, have a giant tickle fight or goofy wrestling match or pillow fight, and then by that point we're all just exhausted and it's time for bed. But there is tons of laughter and good times!
Recently at Good Will we picked up two board games. We found and old Polly Pocket board game that my daughter is CRAZY over (I was in LOVE with Polly Pockets when I was little! They were so fun!) We also found a Clue Jr. game! I have always loved the game of Clue, and Clue Jr. is just perfect for the kids. These old board games are a treasure in our house. (See several photos above this paragraph of our two new board games)
Yes we often bust our the Kinect and the games that go with it, or the Wii, and they are fun. Those devices are nice when it's too hot or too cold or too rainy to run and play and be active outside. So the kids can be active and have fun INSIDE instead. I'm also ok with Mine Craft, if given limits. Not a get on and play ALL DAY LONG type of thing. Cartoons can be ok too! Again...just not ALL DAY LONG. We prefer the older cartoons too. My kids have always been obsessed with the classic cartoons. Things like what my MOTHER grew up on, and what I watched too. Boomerang was always a favorite channel of ours when we had Dish while my Mother in Law was living with us.
Currently my kids are camped out in the living room in their blanket forts. They are enjoying sleeping in the living room tonight (and like they do most nights during the summer actually). It's fun to camp out with them. We read their R.L. Stine chapter books (other awesome memories from my childhood!) and we giggle and laugh and make silly faces together.
Soon soccer and foot ball practices will start, and my daughters Girl Scout stuff will be more active, so things will get busy. Family nights and "unplugging" will be even more important. I want my kids to look forward to spending time together as a family and not being so technology dependent NOW so maybe when they are preteens/teens they *MIGHT* not rely on or beg for the technology so much. Realize it's not necessarily a BAD thing, but can become a problem if misused or put as the most important things in their lives.
I've been more lax with the video games and cartoons this summer than what I wanted. However, when they go to their Grandma's house during the week...she kind of lets them play whatever they want all day so they leave her alone and aren't fighting. Which is why I'm looking forward to school starting. The kids know that there will be NO video games during the week, only on Friday or Saturday night and only for a set time limit. FAMILY time will be throughout the week, and be longer than video game time. Family time can be squeezed in throughout the day. Working together in the kitchen to pack lunches or make breakfast, talking at the bus stop, giggling over a snack after school while they work on home work, talking about things at the supper table (we have a "talk jar" that has different questions that can be asked and we have to each come up with our own answer which is a great way to get kids to THINK about situations and things). Time together comes at bedtime when we read a story together, and curl up together and talk about our day and what we want to look forward to for the next day, or talk about the things that are bothering or worrying us. The little things. Little things that technology can't do. Be more human, give us a human connection. Electronics can't hold us and give us warm hugs, electronics can't tuck us in just right and make sure we have our favorite stuffed animal and give good night hugs and kisses. Electronics can distract us from what is important, from what is right in front of us.
If you watch the video, you will hear the children of today saying things like "I just zone out...I don't even know how long I've been playing...I'm just not there anymore..."
That's scary.
I want my children to be present, and in the now. Not lost in cyber space.
Mom Circus
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Day at the Pool
Today was our day off, our family day. It is our favorite day of the week! We can either choose to be LAZY, or creative, or adventurous, spontaneous or whatever our family feels like doing. We spend the night before crazily cleaning up the house and getting those little mundane tasks out of the way that could absolutely KILL our fantastic Saturday's. If by chance we don't get it all done, we just do it up first thing of a morning.
We sleep in, (till 8:30am if you can call that sleeping in, that's what it is for us anyway!) We watch some cartoons, and I have some coffee and a wee bit of Facebook time. Just to wake up of course. Then by 9:30am, we're eating breakfast. A home made, yummy in our tummies, not what we eat Monday through Friday kind of breakfast! Pancakes with sausage links, or biscuits and home made sausage gravy, or French toast, or waffles, or cinnamon rolls, or so many other yummy yummy breakfast items we can think of that we don't normally eat during the week, when we are lucky to have time for a bowl of cereal, or a bowl of quick cooking oat meal. So Saturday's...are the greatest day ever.
Today we chose to check out some side walk sales going on down town, which was awesome because we came home with two bags of stuff for the kids in the way of clothing for only twenty two dollars. Not bad. My daughter got several shirts, and a GORGEOUS dress, and my sons got several shirts and a couple pair of shorts, and some nice sandals.
We ended our day by hanging out at the local pool. Normally, we prefer to the lake, but we've had so much rain this year that the lake was flooded and kind of gross looking the last time we were there so we decided that this summer, we'd just stick with the local pool.
The kids always have a blast at the pool and are getting soooo close to swimming and I'm just so darn proud of them.
Normally, it's always other moms kind of judging other moms at the local pool. It used to annoy me. Now I'm just like "whateva man..." and I let any comment or dirty look they MIGHT have roll off and wash away in the pool. Most generally, I'm too caught up in what my kids are doing to even notice any of the other moms now days anyway. Plus my kids are old enough to play in the deeper water now so we aren't in the 'baby area' anymore and I am sooooo FREAKING happy about that. I didn't particularly enjoy sitting in urine temperature water, and baking to death while constantly jumping up every 5 seconds to stop my child from drowning them self or crying because they slipped or some other BS my kids always managed to do in the water. Or dealing with a dirty look from another mom because her toddler is a bigger cry baby than my kids and my kid accidentally splashed her kid in the face and now my kid is suddenly a bully and blah blah blah. Gosh. I hate the kiddie area, with a passion.
So glad my kids are happily paddling away in the deeper areas now.
It's more fun for my husband and I. I'm not stuck with the kids the whole time while he's off swimming and having fun (and slightly resenting him for it). We can both go out and enjoy the deeper water WITH our kids. The kids enjoy the water slide and will go down that a million and one times and we can laugh and enjoy their slide time antics. Unless the biggest kid at the pool decides to go down DIRECTLY behind my two scrawny little boys and totally land on top of them and old them under the water. THAT is a bit unsettling and freaks a parent out. BUT in the end....the big kid was upset with himself and apologized profusely, and my sons stood up to him and told him to move out of their way and stop being so RUDE and to let other kids get out of the way before he come barreling down on top of them.
Circus Son #2 goes "Ya know...some kids don't swim so fast, and we are just doing the best we can!! Give us a break and just WAIT A MINUTE instead of trying to DROWN US!"
Hey, the kid has a point. At least my kids are old enough to fight their own battles now and don't necessarily need mom and dad to intervene (other than my husband fishing them both out of the water after the boy nearly drowned them)
However, I may be officially at the moment where I don't give two rips about what other moms at the pool are thinking/saying/doing....my husband is now finally at that stage where HE now cares what people are saying/thinking about him as a parent (funny now that works).
Why is this parenting thing so backwards????
In the beginning I'm the spastic stressed out mom. He wasn't necessarily laid back or anything, but he was just kind of off in his own little bubble doing his thing. Always been a pretty good dad, but definitely had a different mind set about it all (which is perfectly fine).
However, now that I'm at that more laid back "Eh whatev" mode. My husband is now the total opposite always spazzing out over every little thing. You should see him when our kids get out of his eye sight for even a second. I now know what I looked like when our kids were toddlers. Wild eyed and panicky. Poor guy, I ALMOST feel sorry for him.
I did feel bad for him though when he complimented another dad (he spoke TO the dad mind you), for his kids ability to swim so well and jump off a diving board. We've been attempting to teach our daughter to swim since she was a toddler, and she psyches herself out and won't do it. When my husband said something to the dad, he looked at my husband like he was some kind of creep. Dude. Chill. Your kid can swim good, that's a good thing. Don't spazz out over it. So now my husband says he's done going to the pool if other dads are going to act like it's offensive to say "Hey your kid swims great"
I guess dads can be as petty and weird as moms. *sigh*
My husband doesn't exactly have a whole lot of "dad friends". The biggest majority of his friends are not even married. So when he talks to another parent...it's usually a mom, and she's usually one of my friends. So he doesn't get much "dad to dad" interaction. Today's situation at the pool...did not help him with that at all. He's always been too busy to make too many dad friends. Working, or being at home with his family. He isn't too comfortable getting out of his zone, and putting himself out there to make dad friends.
I promise, he's not a bad guy. He'd go to the moon and back for his kids. He'd turn into the Incredible Hulk for his kids if he needed to. However, he's not so daft as to become a total A HOLE at a public pool because someone complimented our kid. I had numerous people at the pool tell me today how much they loved my daughters hair, or they loved how tall she was, or how cute the boys were as they were working on swimming. Not once, did I snatch my children up and leave the pool.
I tried to reassure him. Told him that maybe they just realized what time it was and had to be going. Or maybe the guy just didn't do well in public settings either and didn't like to be put on the spot either. Or maybe he had a water booger in his nose or something. Or the kid had just told her dad she had to go potty, or maybe she hadn't been listening, or maybe she was just getting too tired and he needed to get her out of the pool to rest. Or maybe it's his only kid and he's just SUPER protective.
I told him to not let it get to him. That dads...like moms...can sometimes get all bent out of shape and assume the worst about people, just because.
I have to admit though....I was the lazy mom at the pool today (well not the WHOLE time but for a brief few minutes). I was chilling and relaxing in the shady area in the water. My daughter was next to me relaxing, so was my husband. The boys were in front of us playing on the children's water slide. They weren't necessarily being bad, no worse than the other kids. UNTIL they decided to walk UP the slide instead of slide down it. Now, they KNOW I don't allow that. However, I could just barely see what they were doing from the angle I was sitting, and I was frankly too cozy and cool to want to move *sigh* So I sat there for a few minutes to see if they'd stop. They didn't. So I did something I never do. I let another mom butt in and stop them. (It's not that I have a problem with other moms correcting my children, because I don't, but normally I don't give any one else a chance TO correct my children because that's my job as their mom). However, I didn't do it today. I just watched it all go down. My kids were very polite they apologized to the mom and went down correctly and went back up the steps to go down the slide again. They were still quite happy. So was the other mom, she smiled at their politeness and the fact that they listened so well to her. I smiled because I didn't have to move (I KNOW BAD ME!!) and that my boys listened so well and stopped when asked. Shortly after my sons came over to me and we talked about them using the water slide incorrectly. They said they knew they shouldn't do that, and next time they'd use the slide the right way. Thankfully by then it was time to leave the pool and come home. They are good kids, they just sometimes make the wrong decisions, just like everyone does at some point. Given the chance, they will correct their mistakes on their own, sometimes they need a reminder, but in the end they correct what they did wrong.
It was a lovely lazy Saturday. French toast for breakfast, some shopping, a nice lunch, some time at the pool, and time spent at home. Quite a lovely day after all, even if there were a few questionable moments.
Remember parents...be kind to one another, ok?
Mom Circus
We sleep in, (till 8:30am if you can call that sleeping in, that's what it is for us anyway!) We watch some cartoons, and I have some coffee and a wee bit of Facebook time. Just to wake up of course. Then by 9:30am, we're eating breakfast. A home made, yummy in our tummies, not what we eat Monday through Friday kind of breakfast! Pancakes with sausage links, or biscuits and home made sausage gravy, or French toast, or waffles, or cinnamon rolls, or so many other yummy yummy breakfast items we can think of that we don't normally eat during the week, when we are lucky to have time for a bowl of cereal, or a bowl of quick cooking oat meal. So Saturday's...are the greatest day ever.
Today we chose to check out some side walk sales going on down town, which was awesome because we came home with two bags of stuff for the kids in the way of clothing for only twenty two dollars. Not bad. My daughter got several shirts, and a GORGEOUS dress, and my sons got several shirts and a couple pair of shorts, and some nice sandals.
We ended our day by hanging out at the local pool. Normally, we prefer to the lake, but we've had so much rain this year that the lake was flooded and kind of gross looking the last time we were there so we decided that this summer, we'd just stick with the local pool.
The kids always have a blast at the pool and are getting soooo close to swimming and I'm just so darn proud of them.
Normally, it's always other moms kind of judging other moms at the local pool. It used to annoy me. Now I'm just like "whateva man..." and I let any comment or dirty look they MIGHT have roll off and wash away in the pool. Most generally, I'm too caught up in what my kids are doing to even notice any of the other moms now days anyway. Plus my kids are old enough to play in the deeper water now so we aren't in the 'baby area' anymore and I am sooooo FREAKING happy about that. I didn't particularly enjoy sitting in urine temperature water, and baking to death while constantly jumping up every 5 seconds to stop my child from drowning them self or crying because they slipped or some other BS my kids always managed to do in the water. Or dealing with a dirty look from another mom because her toddler is a bigger cry baby than my kids and my kid accidentally splashed her kid in the face and now my kid is suddenly a bully and blah blah blah. Gosh. I hate the kiddie area, with a passion.
So glad my kids are happily paddling away in the deeper areas now.
It's more fun for my husband and I. I'm not stuck with the kids the whole time while he's off swimming and having fun (and slightly resenting him for it). We can both go out and enjoy the deeper water WITH our kids. The kids enjoy the water slide and will go down that a million and one times and we can laugh and enjoy their slide time antics. Unless the biggest kid at the pool decides to go down DIRECTLY behind my two scrawny little boys and totally land on top of them and old them under the water. THAT is a bit unsettling and freaks a parent out. BUT in the end....the big kid was upset with himself and apologized profusely, and my sons stood up to him and told him to move out of their way and stop being so RUDE and to let other kids get out of the way before he come barreling down on top of them.
Circus Son #2 goes "Ya know...some kids don't swim so fast, and we are just doing the best we can!! Give us a break and just WAIT A MINUTE instead of trying to DROWN US!"
Hey, the kid has a point. At least my kids are old enough to fight their own battles now and don't necessarily need mom and dad to intervene (other than my husband fishing them both out of the water after the boy nearly drowned them)
However, I may be officially at the moment where I don't give two rips about what other moms at the pool are thinking/saying/doing....my husband is now finally at that stage where HE now cares what people are saying/thinking about him as a parent (funny now that works).
Why is this parenting thing so backwards????
In the beginning I'm the spastic stressed out mom. He wasn't necessarily laid back or anything, but he was just kind of off in his own little bubble doing his thing. Always been a pretty good dad, but definitely had a different mind set about it all (which is perfectly fine).
However, now that I'm at that more laid back "Eh whatev" mode. My husband is now the total opposite always spazzing out over every little thing. You should see him when our kids get out of his eye sight for even a second. I now know what I looked like when our kids were toddlers. Wild eyed and panicky. Poor guy, I ALMOST feel sorry for him.
I did feel bad for him though when he complimented another dad (he spoke TO the dad mind you), for his kids ability to swim so well and jump off a diving board. We've been attempting to teach our daughter to swim since she was a toddler, and she psyches herself out and won't do it. When my husband said something to the dad, he looked at my husband like he was some kind of creep. Dude. Chill. Your kid can swim good, that's a good thing. Don't spazz out over it. So now my husband says he's done going to the pool if other dads are going to act like it's offensive to say "Hey your kid swims great"
I guess dads can be as petty and weird as moms. *sigh*
My husband doesn't exactly have a whole lot of "dad friends". The biggest majority of his friends are not even married. So when he talks to another parent...it's usually a mom, and she's usually one of my friends. So he doesn't get much "dad to dad" interaction. Today's situation at the pool...did not help him with that at all. He's always been too busy to make too many dad friends. Working, or being at home with his family. He isn't too comfortable getting out of his zone, and putting himself out there to make dad friends.
I promise, he's not a bad guy. He'd go to the moon and back for his kids. He'd turn into the Incredible Hulk for his kids if he needed to. However, he's not so daft as to become a total A HOLE at a public pool because someone complimented our kid. I had numerous people at the pool tell me today how much they loved my daughters hair, or they loved how tall she was, or how cute the boys were as they were working on swimming. Not once, did I snatch my children up and leave the pool.
I tried to reassure him. Told him that maybe they just realized what time it was and had to be going. Or maybe the guy just didn't do well in public settings either and didn't like to be put on the spot either. Or maybe he had a water booger in his nose or something. Or the kid had just told her dad she had to go potty, or maybe she hadn't been listening, or maybe she was just getting too tired and he needed to get her out of the pool to rest. Or maybe it's his only kid and he's just SUPER protective.
I told him to not let it get to him. That dads...like moms...can sometimes get all bent out of shape and assume the worst about people, just because.
I have to admit though....I was the lazy mom at the pool today (well not the WHOLE time but for a brief few minutes). I was chilling and relaxing in the shady area in the water. My daughter was next to me relaxing, so was my husband. The boys were in front of us playing on the children's water slide. They weren't necessarily being bad, no worse than the other kids. UNTIL they decided to walk UP the slide instead of slide down it. Now, they KNOW I don't allow that. However, I could just barely see what they were doing from the angle I was sitting, and I was frankly too cozy and cool to want to move *sigh* So I sat there for a few minutes to see if they'd stop. They didn't. So I did something I never do. I let another mom butt in and stop them. (It's not that I have a problem with other moms correcting my children, because I don't, but normally I don't give any one else a chance TO correct my children because that's my job as their mom). However, I didn't do it today. I just watched it all go down. My kids were very polite they apologized to the mom and went down correctly and went back up the steps to go down the slide again. They were still quite happy. So was the other mom, she smiled at their politeness and the fact that they listened so well to her. I smiled because I didn't have to move (I KNOW BAD ME!!) and that my boys listened so well and stopped when asked. Shortly after my sons came over to me and we talked about them using the water slide incorrectly. They said they knew they shouldn't do that, and next time they'd use the slide the right way. Thankfully by then it was time to leave the pool and come home. They are good kids, they just sometimes make the wrong decisions, just like everyone does at some point. Given the chance, they will correct their mistakes on their own, sometimes they need a reminder, but in the end they correct what they did wrong.
It was a lovely lazy Saturday. French toast for breakfast, some shopping, a nice lunch, some time at the pool, and time spent at home. Quite a lovely day after all, even if there were a few questionable moments.
Remember parents...be kind to one another, ok?
Mom Circus
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