That was the setting for my evening tonight. I worked a double shift today and got home a little before eight and it was still day light, so the kids and I went outside and they had an enjoyable time riding their bikes and playing with the other neighborhood kids. I love letting my kids play outside until the street lamps start coming on, and even then I will still allow them to play (once they park their bikes) when it's finally too dark to ride. They will play tag and other games with the neighborhood games, while the light is all but quickly vanishing and you can just barely make out the people in front of you. They are good memories and fun ways to spend an evening.
We have just seventeen days left here until school starts, just a little over two weeks. This summer has literally flown by! We didn't get to do EVERYTHING we had planned. There was no zoo trip this summer, which is a bummer. We didn't get to go out of state to visit family like we had planned either. We didn't get the camping trip in either (though it is planned for September, as it will be a little cooler than and my husband and his mom don't do well in heat, so we had to plan that camping trip a little later so no one got sick from the heat).
However, there has been swimming and adventures at the lake, hiking at the lake (though we didn't get to check out the trails like I had wanted to), we went to the public pool several times, we have BBQ'd with neighbors and friends, had that water gun fight in the back yard like we wanted to. I'm thinking we'll still have that ice cream party again like we had last year, but it might be after school starts or right before. One last hoorah!
I read an article (or rather watched a video that went with an article) about what our memories of childhood, and our parents/grandparents memories of childhood is like compared to that of our CHILDREN'S childhood memories.
I was born in 1984. I was a small child in the late 80's so I honestly don't remember a WHOLE lot about the 80's. I remember I never used a car seat. Ever. I remember my Grandma took me to all kinds of Circus's and Zoo's, and Exotic animal places, we explored caves too. I remember more things from the 90's. They took me mushroom hunting and taught me how to pick the right wild mushrooms, how to pick wild greens, where to find the best wild onions, taught me how to identify snakes and turtles, they took me to pick black berries, blueberries and gooseberries. My Grandma and Mother made me help with the sheep farm my Grandma had (and chickens). I helped bottle feed lambs, I milked goats (I grew up on fresh goats milk!!), I fed chickens, collected eggs, watched as chickens were prepped for cooking (ya know complete with head chopping, feather plucking....all that joyful stuff). I watched Deer get prepped for skinning, and cutting down to be processed.
I helped in the garden. I helped shovel sheep manure and loaded it into the truck to fertilize the veggie gardens, and the flower gardens. I helped plant flowers, I helped plant strawberries, and corn, and all kinds of vegetables in our HUGE garden. I helped collect grapes from our grape vine. I helped snap green beans, and helped shuck corn and helped prep things to be canned.
I ran bare foot through my yard without hesitation. I drank from the water hose with wild abandon. My Mother used to chase me around the yard with the water hose spraying me in the summer on the hottest of days. It was so much fun!
I remember playing on my swing set for YEARS and YEARS. Pretending it was anything from a pirate ship, to a space ship, to my house, a train, an air plane, whatever I needed it to be to fit my wildest fancy...that's what my swing set was. I used to rake up a huge pile of leaves and jump in it repeatedly until I fell asleep in it (leaving my Mother and Grandmother to freak out and search for me all over the place unable to find me until I woke up and wandered into the house wondering why they were freaking out).
I played at the creek, I went fishing, I climbed trees, I skinned my knees so many times riding my bike It's a wonder I have knees left at all. I played baseball and tag and all kinds of crazy games with the other kids in my neighborhood.
We camped outside, we told scary ghost stories by a fire, we played at the local park until dark. I explored every inch of the property my Mother owned when I was growing up (not much, 2.5 acres but it seemed like so much more!!). I was always up to something! I would go outside first thing of a morning and not come back in to STAY until it was dark. I would come in go to the bathroom, get a drink, grab a bite to eat (if I wasn't sitting in the middle of the garden in the summer with a bucket of water eating the fresh veggies that were growing there!!)
I loved 90% of my childhood. I can easily say that I had a pretty good childhood, regardless of some of the not so good parts, but honestly...the good really does out weigh the bad. It was simple easy times. My Mother didn't have to breathe down my neck every two seconds. She didn't have to be GLUED to me. I wasn't an idiot. I wasn't a sissy. I knew my boundaries. I played outside by myself from the time I was three years old. I wasn't allowed to leave my YARD until I was like eight though.
I have lots of fun things to look back on from my childhood! My Mother didn't bend over backwards to make my summers "memorable". If my Grandma wanted us to do something fun together, we did, and it really was a lot of fun! Mostly, my summers were spent just being a KID and using my imagination. I was an only child until I was ten and a half years old so I HAD to keep myself occupied because there was no way in HECK my Mother was going to spend all of her day keeping ME occupied and playing with me.
I had a HUGE imagination, which is something I'm noticing my kid seem to seriously lack. I mean, yes they DO have an imagination and they do come up with awesome things, but their imaginations are NOTHING like what mine were when I was little. They don't imagine like I did at that age. They are for the most part...quite literal. Now they are way more imaginative than SOME KIDS that I know that are there age.
My daughter always wants me to play with her, which is fine I don't MIND playing with her of course, but it wouldn't hurt her to come up with her own creative things to play either.
When I was watching the video today (check it out HERE) it really dawned on me...
So many kids do NOT have the memories my age group had when we were growing up.
So tonight, I asked my kids a question that was asked in the video.
What is your favorite thing to do? How do you like to have fun?
My kids all answered with:
"WE LOVE TO PLAY!!"
I asked them HOW they liked to play. They replied back with
"We really like to play outside mom."
I asked them what they liked to play outside.
They responded with things like "Riding our bikes and having bike races, riding our scooters and skateboards, playing tag, wrestling with all of the neighborhood kids, water gun fights, playing hide and seek or tag in the dark, going to the park too!"
My kids listed off a whole slew of things they enjoy doing.
They never mentioned video games or cartoons. I was THRILLED!! Because trust me, my kids DO play video games and they DO watch cartoons. I was honestly expecting "PLAY VIDEO GAMES!!!" To be the FIRST thing that flew out of both of my sons mouths. I was so happy when it was not!
They also included things like going to the zoo, going to the circus, going to the lake, going swimming, going on road trips, fishing, hiking, playing board games with mom and dad as some of their favorite activities.
Apparently I'm doing something right. I hope.
As long as their childhood memories when they are older do not just involve them looking back and going "Wow. All we did was play video games...."
We want our kids to be out in nature. It's ok to get a few skinned knees, and a few mosquito and chigger bites. It's ok to get muddy from head to toe! I mean yes, technology can be nice. Heaven knows I love my Facebook and my Blogging time. I don't really care about my cell phone much, it's ok...but I'm not obsessed with it. Technology is just a nice little extra thing, not something our family HAS GOT TO HAVE or we'll go crazy. I guess we like things a little simpler than some families. We do put a lot of focus on family time and making memories together.
One of our favorite things is to go to Good Will and dig through the board games to see what we can find. For $2 per game, it's often fun to see what you can find! We're getting a really nice collection of games! (Which is great considering when my mother in law moved out last year she took all of our board games). Thanks to friends and family and Good Will we've built up our board game collection again! We love having family game nights.
We pop up some popcorn, get our favorite drinks, and favorite treats. We play several board games, watch a movie together, have a giant tickle fight or goofy wrestling match or pillow fight, and then by that point we're all just exhausted and it's time for bed. But there is tons of laughter and good times!
Recently at Good Will we picked up two board games. We found and old Polly Pocket board game that my daughter is CRAZY over (I was in LOVE with Polly Pockets when I was little! They were so fun!) We also found a Clue Jr. game! I have always loved the game of Clue, and Clue Jr. is just perfect for the kids. These old board games are a treasure in our house. (See several photos above this paragraph of our two new board games)
Yes we often bust our the Kinect and the games that go with it, or the Wii, and they are fun. Those devices are nice when it's too hot or too cold or too rainy to run and play and be active outside. So the kids can be active and have fun INSIDE instead. I'm also ok with Mine Craft, if given limits. Not a get on and play ALL DAY LONG type of thing. Cartoons can be ok too! Again...just not ALL DAY LONG. We prefer the older cartoons too. My kids have always been obsessed with the classic cartoons. Things like what my MOTHER grew up on, and what I watched too. Boomerang was always a favorite channel of ours when we had Dish while my Mother in Law was living with us.
Currently my kids are camped out in the living room in their blanket forts. They are enjoying sleeping in the living room tonight (and like they do most nights during the summer actually). It's fun to camp out with them. We read their R.L. Stine chapter books (other awesome memories from my childhood!) and we giggle and laugh and make silly faces together.
Soon soccer and foot ball practices will start, and my daughters Girl Scout stuff will be more active, so things will get busy. Family nights and "unplugging" will be even more important. I want my kids to look forward to spending time together as a family and not being so technology dependent NOW so maybe when they are preteens/teens they *MIGHT* not rely on or beg for the technology so much. Realize it's not necessarily a BAD thing, but can become a problem if misused or put as the most important things in their lives.
I've been more lax with the video games and cartoons this summer than what I wanted. However, when they go to their Grandma's house during the week...she kind of lets them play whatever they want all day so they leave her alone and aren't fighting. Which is why I'm looking forward to school starting. The kids know that there will be NO video games during the week, only on Friday or Saturday night and only for a set time limit. FAMILY time will be throughout the week, and be longer than video game time. Family time can be squeezed in throughout the day. Working together in the kitchen to pack lunches or make breakfast, talking at the bus stop, giggling over a snack after school while they work on home work, talking about things at the supper table (we have a "talk jar" that has different questions that can be asked and we have to each come up with our own answer which is a great way to get kids to THINK about situations and things). Time together comes at bedtime when we read a story together, and curl up together and talk about our day and what we want to look forward to for the next day, or talk about the things that are bothering or worrying us. The little things. Little things that technology can't do. Be more human, give us a human connection. Electronics can't hold us and give us warm hugs, electronics can't tuck us in just right and make sure we have our favorite stuffed animal and give good night hugs and kisses. Electronics can distract us from what is important, from what is right in front of us.
If you watch the video, you will hear the children of today saying things like "I just zone out...I don't even know how long I've been playing...I'm just not there anymore..."
That's scary.
I want my children to be present, and in the now. Not lost in cyber space.
Mom Circus
