Death of a Furry Friend and Life Goes On

The past week has been stressful and frustrating to say the least.  My favorite cat in the entire world just passed away, we believe he was poisoned, and it was a horrible slow death for him.  The vet thought he would snap out of hit, but apparently it was too little too late.  So my sweet furry son was buried in the back yard yesterday amid the falling autumn leaves of our maple tree.  My heart is shattered from that.

I loved this cat, he was amazing.  So kind and good natured.  He was always very cooperative when I would make him try out the new pet photo props I had come up with and wanted to try out.  Even though he never was a huge fan of having his picture taken, he tolerated it just enough for me to get a few photos. 

He LOVED to be outside.  He enjoyed sleeping in the fall leaves, and hiding in the summer grass watching his favorite humans play.  He was never far away when we were outside as a family.  When he couldn't go outside (like when it was pouring down rain, or was snowing like mad outside) he would sit on our buffet and look out the window and just glare at the weather that was preventing him from going out. 

This photo, breaks my heart.  Was among the last taken of him on the day he passed.  He still had enough energy to get up and move from place to place, and he visited each of his family members.  We all showed him love and let him know we just wanted him to be at peace and in no more pain.  He would still rest a lot, but he was still active.  The vet was still confident he could come out of it after some medication. 

I watched my 6 year old daughter cry her heart out at the loss of her "VERY BEST FRIEND EVER".  She's witnessed animals passing before, life and death is not something new to her.  She knows that life is created and lives for as long as their time is meant to be, and then things also die, sometimes sooner than we want.  We've lost numerous foster kittens who were just too sick to fight any longer.  However, none of them were Severus.  Severus, was her best friend.  He always slept with her.  When she was sick, he was right there.  When he was sick she was right there.  He was always a sickly baby from day one.  Had we left him on the streets, he would have died within a week or so.  We rescued him at 5 weeks of age.  He was with us for a year and a half.  I'm so glad we gave him the love and protection he needed and deserved.  Everyone that met him fell in love.  He was BEAUTIFUL.  So many people always joked they were going to slip him into their purses or car and bring him home with them.  He was just that friendly, and that  gorgeous.  He loved kids didn't care what they did to him, he didn't mind dogs at all and would always wrestle and play with them.  He was a WONDERFUL foster brothers to the little kittens we brought home.  He was just the best cat anyone could have ever hoped for.

No one in our home loves animals nearly as much as my daughter and I.  The loss of an animal hits us hard, because they are not merely "just an animal" they are literally FAMILY.  So when a pet dies, it's like losing an actual family member to us.

The hardest part was the night he died, and he was really really struggling.  My daughter and I sat by his side, comforting him, letting him know we loved him.  My daughter and I talked about our memories of Severus, and we both knew the unenviable was coming, that he would pass, it was just a matter of time. Sobbing my daughter asked me if God could bring Severus back to her if she prayed real real hard.  Heart broken, I explained God doesn't quite work that way. However, God would send another cat to us, when the time was right.  Another cat, that needed our love and protection like Severus had needed.  He would be with us until it was his time to leave.  Still sobbing she said it wasn't fair, he shouldn't' have to leave us.  All I could say through my own tears, was I know. 

Death isn't fair.  Neither is life. Life is hard to live.  Death is hard to accept. It's a constant turmoil, yet somehow we are supposed to find a calm, a peace in all of it.  Sometimes easier said, than done.

The death of the cat is just the little tip of a giant iceberg in my heart right now.  I am just so angry and frustrated lately.  Resentful I guess would be the right word.  Not feelings I personally enjoy having, and not feelings that are "me".  I hate it.  Makes me this grouchy person that I hate being, so those are things I have to work on.  They are issues that believe me I would LOVE to rant and rave about, but it's situations that really have no business in my blog.  Family stuff, with certain family members that hurt my heart on a regular basis.  They know who they are, and how I feel, and what I think.  Though I will not lie when I say I've started numerous blog posts to just let it all out and rant about each and every single person that I'm upset with right now.  That isn't fair to the other person though, so I won't drag their name and my personal frustrations through my blog world. To family who might actually read this...if you think I'm talking about you, I probably am, but don't worry you aren't the ONLY one I'm talking about so don't think this whole post is about you, there are plenty on my deep poop list right now, ha!

The week wasn't all bad, it ended fairly nice, even though my cat died. 

The husband and I were able to attend the local college's production of "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee"  if you've never seen this play, you really should! It was hilarious. A gentleman I went to high school with, and who was also in band with, was one of the performers in the play and he did an AWESOME job, hilarious and played his character wonderfully, so way to go Andrew! I was laughing from the beginning till the end of the play.  Glad that I FINALLY got a chance to see this play, I had always heard the title, but other than that I had never known anything about it.  So glad I told the husband we were going on a date night and this is what we would be doing.  We really had a great time. 

Now a new week is beginning.  Time to get caught up on laundry and all that other fun stuff that we blew off over the weekend! I use the term "fun" loosely.  Things will be even more chaotic because my niece is here visiting with us until Thanksgiving.  So this will be fun! She's a handful and in that wonderfully "fun" toddler stage.  This morning I took her to Church with my husband and Kids and I.  She had a great time in the Church nursery and today was also the Church Thanksgiving dinner so she got to eat tons of yummy food and meet lots of new people.

Guess I need to get some shut eye then! Stayed up way too late last night and have paid for it today.  At least my children took a brief power nap with me this afternoon.  Too bad it was such a powerful nap for my sons that they have been a pain in the bum to put to bed tonight! You win some, you lose some that's the way it goes.  I sneak in a power nap, and then loose my early bedtime tonight because of it.  That'll teach me.

They are talking snow soon, and I am not ready for that.  Glad I already bought my snow shovel and rock salt! I think this winter in our neck of the woods is going to be cold, snowy, and not so much fun.  We might even have snow on Christmas this year! That would be nice!

Goodnight folks!
Mae

Begging For Pie

Oh for goodness sakes.  This has just been one of those days! It was hectic from the moment my alarm clock went off and my kids instantly started fighting, before I had even had a chance to drink a single sip of coffee.  I'm glad I have an automatic coffee pot, but it's not quite automatic enough! I still have to load the filter and coffee and pour in the water.  It'd be nice if all of THAT was automatic, ha! Then I still have to pour the coffee, and lift it to my mouth in the morning...just make it a little more automatic and we're set, hahahaha!

I'm just glad I can figure out HOW to program the thing the night before.  The nights I apparently have a huge brain fart and forget to hit the auto button...ugh.  The next morning, really sucks and is HIGHLY disappointing.

Or when the husband unplugs my coffee pot, so he can use the CAN OPENER after I go to bed (OH NO HE DID NOT)!  Those aren't generally good mornings for him either.

This morning the kids were asking like a million and one questions and my eye lids couldn't even blink in unison.

Then my sons decided that this morning would be a GREAT day to do nothing but fight all morning.  Every five seconds I had to break up a boxing match.  Right before they walked out the door to get on the bus, Keegan decided it would be a great time to flip a kitchen chair over on top of his brother.  Really?  WHY?! So of course Marshall got on the bus sobbing his little heart out because Bubby was mean to him.  Of course our young pup decided to also bolt out the door as the boys were getting on their bus.  Thanks.  I love it when my kids and animals make me look like a stark raving made lunatic.  *sigh*  I mean I'm already half way there most of the time anyway, I don't need their help getting their the rest of the way!
However, this morning DID have a completely adorable "Awww" moment! My son Keegan never fails to crack me up, a conversation we had this morning (between my cups of coffee, ha!)

So Keegan comes up to me after staring longingly at the apple bowl on the counter that I always keep filled with fruit that they can eat pretty much whenever, and goes
K: "Mommy, Daddy really really needs an apple pie"
Mom: "O? He does, does he?"
K: "Yes, right now"
Mom: "So Daddy needs an apple pie RIGHT NOW, even though he's sleeping?"
K: "Yep, it would make him VERY happy Mom"
Mom: "Or would it make YOU very happy?"
K: "Me. I'd be happy too Mom"
Mom: "I see...an apple pie might be in your future"
K: "Yay, I'm getting PIE! RIGHT NOW!"
Mom: "No not right now, later"
K: "Aww nuts."

I couldn't say no to his adorable little self.

Yes, I know it's not the most BEAUTIFUL apple pie you've ever seen, but it sure tasted darn good.

So of course there was a home made apple pie on the counter, fresh out of the oven when they walked in the door from preschool today.

All three of my children had the most excited and happy looks on their faces, it was almost too much cuteness. Almost.

They devoured their supper as quickly as possible tonight so they could get to that apple pie.  It was torture for them to wait until after supper to eat a slice, but as a reward they got a nice sized chunk of pie. 

Dessert isn't normally something I normally make around here.  I mean, don't get me wrong I LOVE to bake and I LOVE dessert foods, but I didn't grow up eating a lot of desserts (that kind of happens when your mom has been a type 1 diabetic since she was 7 years old, you grow up not getting many treats and sweets, not really a big loss honestly).  So while I can whip up a drool worthy dessert food, I generally choose not to.  A:  Because it takes too much work, and Eh, I'm good...I'd rather not  go through all of that just to have a slice of cake, or pie, or whatever it is I'm craving).  B:  Because it isn't healthy to eat that many sweets and treats, so we just pass them up and have a banana or something.  Banana's and apples are quick, easy, and MUCH healthier for you than that slice of chocolate cake.

Holidays and birthdays I go all out though! I bring on the goodies! On a day to day basis, no thanks we'll skip the dessert. 

I had been kind of wanting an apple pie anyway for a while though (fall gets me in the mood for warm apple pies and apple cider).  That big bowl of apples sitting on the counter was looking tempting, and with how badly both of my sons were begging for an apple pie (and yes the husband too) I decided that it was time to just make one.

The bad thing about making an apple pie though?  I LOVE the pies my Grandma used to make when I was little.  They were awesome.  However, my Grandmother and my Mother were the WORST when it came to actually USING a recipe.  They literally did everything  from scratch, by taste, thickness and color. A pinch their, a bit here...a dash there...which makes it INSANELY difficult for my Mother to be able to actually hand down these treasured family recipes.  I *CAN* cook the way my Mother and Grandmother did but I really really really prefer not to.  I like recipes. They make me feel 'safe'.  Yes I can still play around and bend the recipe, but I like to have that safety net there. Guess I'm not as adventurous as my Grandmother and Mother!

So I wrote down their "recipe" as good as my Mother could explain it (oy vey...) and I will now just have to bake an apple pie at least once a month until I get it "right", constantly writing it down and altering it until it's perfect. That way I'll have a for sure recipe to follow later, and so will my children. This should make my children and husband THRILLED to no end.

Thanksgiving is coming, as if you needed a reminder.  So I've been doing the yearly "food planning".  I have no idea who all is coming to our home for dinner.  My husband's sisters are notorious for never coming to anything after saying they'll be there.  So I know the moment I DO plan for them to come, they won't.  If I don't plan for them to be there, they will show up at the door.  That's just the way they do things.  It is HIGHLY frustrating.  Like most things they do. 

I guess it'll be another fly by the seat of your turkey holiday....

Mae

Thankfulness and Turkey

Halloween has come and gone, and now we're on to my next favorite Holiday! Thanksgiving! That means more time for fun fall themed craft projects with my kids, because obviously I failed at doing many Halloween crafts with them this year! I think we managed maybe 2 possibly 3 craft projects for Halloween, which is for me...rather laaaaame.  Last year I did ALMOST 30 projects with them, same as the year before.  This year?  Ugh, not even close.

As soon as Halloween was over and November first was upon us I was yanking down all the spider webbing, jack o lanterns, spiders, bats, ghosts etc and putting up the pumpkin and turkey decorations, and busting out some fall leaves.  I absolutely love fall and decorating for Thanksgiving is actually one of my most favorite things to do. 

Who am I kidding?  If it's a holiday, or a season I greatly enjoy decorating for it! I love getting all crafty and creative. 

Last night after my sons were in bed for the night I let my daughter stay up a bit longer and her and I created a fun and unique wreath to hang on the front door.  My daughter is 6 now and is really getting into the holiday spirit and loves to help do craft projects with mommy now, and not just little piddly childish things, she wants to help  Mommy do her REAL craft projects. 

So we sat about creating a fun wreath for the door.

We used a wire wreath form (ours was in some stuff that was given to us so it cost me $0, you could use just about anything from a piece of card board cut into a circle, to a pool noodle cut down to the size you want and then duct taped together to make a circle, or you can go to the dollar store and purchase a round wreath form they have many different types to choose from!

We took an old t shirt no one wore anymore and cut it up into strips and then knotted those strips together and then wrapped it around the wire form.  Didn't take long and was easy to do.

We then took some large pieces of construction paper and fold them in half long ways.  I then cut them out in triangle pieces (I used 5 different fall themed colors, you could even use textured scrapbooking paper but I didn't have any that would work so we just used regular scrapbook paper, which if your wreath will be hit by a lot of sun it will fade more than the scrapbook paper would).  Since ours is between the front door and screen door and doesn't really get hit by a lot of sun the construction paper works fine for us. 

We also cut out two larger white circles and two smaller black circles to use as the eyes later.

I used my hot glue gun for this next part because it holds better than regular glue, but I'm sure you could do it either way.

My daughter helped me arrange the "turkey feathers" where we wanted them under the top part of the wreath to look like the turkey tail feathers.  We then turned 2 orange triangles upside down to be feet for our turkey, and turned a yellow one upside down for the beak, and used 2 brown ones for wings.  We didn't do a wobble though (you know that red thing a turkey has on their beak? Yeh we just left that off). 

Once we had everything positioned where we wanted it I just hot glued everything into place.

We glued the eyes on and then let everything dry nice and solid before hanging it on our front door.  While we waited for the turkey to dry good we used some of the left over triangles we had cut out and made a banner to hang on the screen door on the inside of the glass above our turkey wreath. 

We still had numerous triangles left over so we also made a really cute decorative banner to hang in the bay window of our dining room.

We added buttons and scrapbook paper words (like hug, adventure, joyous, family etc) that were in fall colors and ran yard through the triangles and hung them up in the window for a festive Thanksgiving decoration.

For my dining room window above our buffet area I busted out my "thanksgiving curtains" yeh, I like to change the curtains up in that big window for the holidays and different seasons, it's just fun that way!

Once I had those wrestled on the big window, I dug out a long strip of scrap ruffle fabric I had laying around.  I guess it's more like scrap ruffly binding material but there isn't really enough to DO anything with so I just used it for this next project.

I created another little banner decoration by stretching this piece of material across the window and thumbtacking it just behind the curtain rod of the window on each side.  So it slung across the window and then I just hot glued random little festive items to it. 

Buttons, feathers, pom poms, tiny pieces of felt cut out in triangles in my favorite fall color scheme, and tiny fake fall leaves were got glued across it as well as more scrapbooking quotes. The end product of both thanksgiving banners is a pretty nice one.  At the moment I do not have photos of them because the areas are not quite finished yet, still working on a few little touches. 

We have loads of fun projects that I am hoping we can actually get to! Now that the time change is here and we've sat our clocks back an hour it gets darker a little earlier, and it's getting colder in the evenings a little earlier now which causes to stay inside a bit more now.  So I think we'll be a bit more inclined to do a bit more crafting inside, rather than running and playing outside, which we will miss!

A few days before Halloween the leaves on the tree in our back yard FINALLY decided it was time to fall out.  We've been waiting for those suckers to fall for quite some time now.  Took them long enough! Once they finally fell we went out and had ourselves a WONDERFUL time raking up the leaves, having a leaf fight, jumping in the leaves, and filling up a giant orange trash bag designed like a pumpkin.

It was great to watch the kids jump and play and to hear their giggles and squeals of delight.  To watch them try and use the rake that was twice their height was quite comical. 

My husband and I had a fantastic time with the kids, it's a tradition we look forward to every fall.  Raking up a huge pile of leaves and then just jumping in them like there is no tomorrow! When we get done we have wild crazy hair with pieces of leaves sticking out all over the place.  Chances are you have leaves down your pants, and stuck in your shirt too! It's worth every itchy moment of trying to shake out all those leaves later!

One of the better photos I got of the kids playing in the leaves.  She was singing as she was scooping up leaves to go throw at her father and brothers!

The kids had a fantastic time trick or treating.  The evening started out super rainy and blaaaah.  We hit up a trick or treat trail that was down town and local businesses handed out candy.  Too bad it rained on us the ENTIRE time we were there.  That was no fun. We were all cold and wet, but they got quite a bit of candy.  When that was over it naturally quit raining, and wouldn't you know it a BEAUTIFUL big rainbow came out! It was fantastic. 

After that the kids and I picked up my husband and his mom and we took the kids around to a few houses door to door to get some candy, the kids had a fantastic time and we were done with it all by 7 O'clock.  So we weren't out too late, and thankfully where we went the neighborhoods were very nice and it was all very quiet. 

Yes, yes I know my dog is trying to run away from us.  *sigh* NO it wasn't the costume, it was the fact the other dog ran out the front door and she was wanting to go play with her.  She had been sitting next to me just seconds before the picture was taken and little ding a ling River ran out the door and POOF there went Molly's concentration....she just saw River and was like OH it's PLAY TIME! Oh and yes, yes I am a giant pumpkin. 

I am pretty sure I had the cutest red Power Ranger, Ninja Turtle, and Snow White that has ever walked the face of the planet, but that is just my opinion.  I am their mom so I'm always going to think they are cute (cept when they are being little butt heads, because face it, kids can sometimes just be big butt heads sometimes, and that isn't cute). 

Kamilah was the sweetest Snow White I have ever seen.  For what we paid for that dumb costume she had BETTER look adorable!

Keegan made one awesome Ninja Turtle!

Marshall is one handsome red Power Ranger!

Even the dogs got in on the Halloween spirit, though Molly was more into it than the other two were.  Molly has always had a knack for getting in front of my camera.  Although...I don't think she was too fond of her pumpkin hat.  She tolerated me though, she knew dog  treats and belly rubs were in her future for a job well done.

Really Mom? Really?

Molly thinks this pumpkin hat sucks



River, Molly, and Karmen saying Happy HOOOOWL O WEEN! Do not ask me how long it took me to get them all three to sit like this, or how much begging, pleading, crying (ok not quite crying, but close) and how many dog treats it took to get them to SIT this good for a quick photo.  And trust me, this was PERFECT compared to the other shots I got! 

Had a couple of foster kittens for a few days, they both got adopted and went to the same home, yay! So happy they found a family, though I have to admit I do miss the little buggers!

My daughter brought home her Kindergarten school pictures today and I must say she looks absolutely adorable in them! I've already got one of them hung on the living room wall.  My sons have their preschool pics on Thursday so we'll see how theirs go!

We took a trip to see my sister in law and my niece a week or so before Halloween, the kids had a fantastic time getting to play.  Not only did they get to see their aunt and her daughter, they also got to go see one of Mommy's cousins and her son whom they are very close to.  This sweet little boy, Roger has been through SO MUCH! Diagnosed with HLHS before birth, he had his first heart surgery at only a few weeks old. 

Right before his 4th birthday he had ANOTHER heart surgery done.  Unfortunately this surgery did NOT go well for him and they had to undo the procedure.  It's been a VERY hard time for him and his parents.  Thankfully, after fighting infections, failing organs, procedures that didn't work and a whole slew of other complications, Roger is home. 

He spent 60 some odd days in the hospital laying in the same position. 

He spent a lot of that time sedated and asleep. 

Now he is having to learn how to reuse his body again.  He lost a lot of muscle while in the hospital, and lost a lot of strength and energy.  He is slowly but surely working his way back up!

The kids were so happy they were able to see him, they have missed him so much and wish they got to see him often.  While we were there Roger pushed himself to stand up on his own, we were all so very proud of him as it was the first time had done it since coming home. 

He is a TOUGH TOUGH kiddo! He has come a long way, but he still has a long way to go and could still use all of the prayers he can get!

Roger relaxing on the couch with his mom and dad who never leave his side!

Two of my FAVORITE heroes!
Keegan my own son who has fought childhood cancer
and Roger, my cousin who is so strong and is doing so well fighting through his HLHS (hyptoplastic left heart syndrome).  These boys, are miracles! They are SUPER DUPER! I am blessed to know both of them. 

Since Thanksgiving is just around the corner my family and I have been discussing what we are THANKFUL for.  We have so many things that we are thankful for and we are not JUST thankful during the month of November.  Being thankful is something our family recognizes ALL YEAR LONG.  You do not watch your child fight cancer as a new born and not learn to cherish and appreciate EVERY single moment you have and to be thankful for everything.  We use November as a time to discuss these things in more depth than what we might normally do, and to take the time to express how much we truly appreciate others and how we can do kind things to help other people as well. 

During Church on Sunday, Pastor was in the middle of his sermon when he said "God is trying to get your attention" instantly...the electricity went out! Everyone in the Church was like .. .whoa.  Ok God.  You got our attention! Pastor went ahead with his sermon, and the moment we bowed our heads to pray, the electricity came back on.  It was awesome.  It really struck me.  We had been talking about how God used to talk to people in dreams and such and if that could still happen, if God still spoke to us today.  I believe he does, maybe not in the forms of burning bushes, or angels from heaven, but I do certainly believe he uses small gestures and subtle things to speak to us.  I think many of us just choose to not listen, and we remember what happened to Jonah when he wouldn't listen to God, he was swallowed by a fish. Very thankful for an amazing God who could send his only son to die, to cover the cost of my sins and to forgive me and love me no matter what. That's a powerful thought to think about! I see God at work every day in the tiniest aspects of my life, I can't say I'm always the person God would like for me to be, I fail a lot of the time, but he hasn't given up on me yet, and neither will I, I'm a work in progress!

I thank everyone who takes the time to stop by this tiny little spot of the web.  It isn't much.  It's just my little spot though, and I am thankful for it.

Mae