Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Spider In My Pants

Well, it's been like a week since I last posted figured tonight was a pretty good time to post again.  Now if only I can get through my writers block, or the random case of the odd giggle fit that has been threatening me this evening, why?  I have no idea.  Just because I guess.  Does a giggle fit really NEED a reason?  Maybe it's reason, is to just make a person happy. 

I guess it all started this afternoon before my sons went off to preschool.  With 6 people now living in our home laundry is a CONSTANT thing in our lives and is constantly being washed, dried, folded, put away, wash, lather, rinse repeat...you get the drill I know many of you go through the same chaos known as the never ending always multiplying pile of laundry. 

I had a basket of clean clothes sitting waiting over so patiently to be folded (eh I'll get around to it...soon...ish). Right after I finish cleaning off my computer desk...I think there is still a desk under here anyway.  Right now I'm typing to you over a pile of graded school papers and other miscellaneous paper sent home from school.  One of those no more tangle brushes by 'Michele Mercer' (which by the way are pretty nice brushes, as long as you use detangler spray, then it REALLY works nicely).  OH and I do believe that is my daughters pink belt that is slung across my screen at the moment looking like some kind of snake poised and ready to pounce. Cleaning my desk off is an every other day occurrence.  It just refuses to stay organized *sigh*

So while I was doing some other house hold chores (anything to avoid my desk and that constantly staring and accusing basket of clean laundry waiting to be folded). I was off in my own little world, enjoying my jammie day.  I had already decided it was a "Mae doesn't leave the house or get out of her jammies until like an hour before we have to be at the birthday party and Girl Scout Meeting later this evening, kind of day". 

So as I'm going about my bizzniss (cause I'm cool like that).  My lovely son Marshall starts screaming "MOM! MOM! MOMEEEE!!!!! There is a SPIDER IN YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!!"  At first I was like "Say what?"  He clarified...by yet again yelling "MOMMEEEEE THERE IS A SPIDER IN YOUR UNDERWEAR AND IT'S HUUUUGE!!!! KILL IT!! KIIIIIIIILL IT!!!!" 

First of all.  I had no idea what he was talking about.  I was wearing my underwear (under my cozy comfy jammie pants) and I can assure you there was NO spider in those pants! IF there had been...the whole WORLD would have known and I would probably be in jail right now, because I'm pretty sure I would have bolted out the front door stripping my clothes off as I ran screaming my head off. 

As that wasn't happening, and I was PRETTY sure I'd know if there was a spider in my underwear, I stared at my son blankly like he was a tiny crazed maniac (wait...most kids are, aren't they)? 

He apparently figured out Mommy wasn't going to figure it out (did I mention I hadn't had much coffee yet?  Ok so that's a lie, I had 2 cups of coffee...I was alert enough). 

He pointed to the clean clothes laundry basket.  He was hopping around like a little mad man (or baby gorilla)? 

Sure enough there crawling over a pair of my clean under wear was a spider.  I was like "oh...OOOOH! OH! Kill it kill it!"  My sons gave me that "duh" look.  Between me and my sons we got the sucker knocked on the floor and squished.  Tada. 

Now spiders, stay out of my underwear because I am NOT paying for your therapy bills, ok?

Moving on from having spiders in your underwear...I guess it's better than ants in your pants, maybe? 

This week has been parent teacher conference week.  My daughter, had her first actual parent teacher conference.  Kindergarten...oh boy.

She's a great kid in class and got mostly S's (which means satisfactory and is kind of like getting a B on a report card).  Even most of the areas she was struggling with she got an S in.  However, there were a few Progressing (like a C I would say).  She only had like one maybe two needs improvements. 

It's her darn speech that causes her so much  trouble.  It affects her saying her ABC's, and counting and doing her sight words.  It's frustrating to say the least.  For me, because I can't FIX IT for her and I am afraid (terrified) that it will affect her and hold her back in school). Terrified for her, because I don't want her to struggle, and I want her to LOVE school and I'm afraid the struggle will make her hate school. 

SO they are adding a few more things to her IEP. 

Apparently, according to her teacher she can't use scissors, which she used scissors PERFECTLY fine at home the other day so I have no idea where that is coming from.  I know she USED to struggle with scissors but she got that sorted out in preschool.  So maybe it was just a lapse of memory that she forgot how to use them. 

They are also going to add Math help to her IEP (which is fine with me! I struggled BIG TIME in math and I do NOT want that for her)!  At the moment though it is just help with her counting.  She has NO desire to count at all, she never has same with her ABC's.  She just doesn't care to do it and I've always worked with her on it and tried everything. 

As selfish as it sounds, I'm upset.  I feel like I have failed my daughter SOMEWHERE along the lines.  She went from having a HUGE vocabulary as a young toddler, to struggling a lot with her speech.  I'm upset she NEEDS extra help, but I am also EXTREMELY thankful that the extra help is THERE if she needs it, and she does. 

It's mainly difficult because I've NEVER had an issue with words.  My Mother says that I was born talking and holding a pencil and ready to use words.  My English teachers from high school, and some of my elementary teachers can tell you  that when it came to writing a simple essay, I was a LITTLE prone to writing a novel.  Imagine that.

I never struggled there.  It just clicked.  Came to me, I had it.

So it hurts my heart that my daughter struggles with that stuff.  It's hard for me to understand, because I DIDN'T struggle there.  Thankfully, my husband knows what it is like.  He struggled in those EXACT same areas our daughter is.  Only, he didn't get the assistance our daughter is.  They just pushed him through the system.  He did most of his "learning" and educational keep up, when he got with me in 2001 when we were still in high school. 

His favorite thing to do is to sit down with our daughter every night and have her read all of the books in her reading pouch.  It's special quality time with her Daddy, and he has a great deal of patience and understanding on where she is coming from. 

She is making big progress, and I'm sooo thrilled! She is such an amazing little girl. Recently, her big thing is when she grows up she wants to be a Professional Shopper.  She wants to go buy things for rich people, with their money.  She still wants to have her own animal rescue group, she loves animals and will defend them like crazy.  However, she now wants to be a special affects make up artist.  She loves the show Face Off on the ScyFy channel.  She loves watching as they turn people into scary and creepy things.  She is transfixed by it.  She wants to make people really REALLY scary.  I don't know any other 6 year olds that want a job like that! She has a HUGE imagination and I hope she NEVER loses that!

She also LOVES to write, which is something she does all the time (like I always did)! She will write down the most wonderful stories and tell them back to us.  Love the things she comes up with. 

Other than the few things she is struggling with, school is wonderful for her.  She has lots of friends, she loves her special classes (PE, Art, Music, Library time, etc).  She really really loves library time, she would live in the library if she could! The fact that she handles music class at ALL is a huge deal that I don't think her teachers realize.  Kams is easily over whelmed by too much noise and sometimes music can be very upsetting for her.  The first month of school Kams would tell me every time they had music class that it was really hard for her to concentrate and it bothered her with all the noise.  Together the two of us found ways to help her focus on what she needed to do and get through music class, and now she actually ENJOYS it! 

My sons have their Family night tomorrow evening, looking forward to that! Hopefully their teachers have positive things to say about them.  I am sure they will, because they act like little ANGELS at school instead of the little stink bugs they like to behave like at home. 

 I will have to leave the rest of our escapades for next time! Though I do have to say that my daughter is now a Daisy Girl Scout! I'm so proud of her! I can't wait to help her start earning her patches. 

For now, good evening, and don't forget to check your under wear for spiders, k?

Mae

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

I'm the Birthday Girl

Squeeee! It's my birthday! Yippee! HOORAY!! Ring the bells, bang the drums, toss some confetti, let loose some balloons, I am 29 years young today! It ought to be a national holiday, seriously, it should! "NATIONAL 29th BIRTHDAY HOLIDAY!"   Works for me anyway. 

However, next year is the big 30.  Looming. Or welcoming?  Either way I'll be glad to see it, it beats the alternative anyway!

I was born on this date 29 years ago, and it's been a pretty awesome ride for the most part since then.  I'm still alive, so I must be doing something right.  Married with three kids and I have plenty of great friends who sure know how to make me smile and feel loved and appreciated, so I must have done SOMETHING right!

My wedding anniversary is next week, on the 22nd.  My husband (Mr. Animal Cracker Circus), and I have been married for 7 years.  Though we've been together since our Junior year of high school in 2001. 

I have been ATTEMPTING to get good anniversary photos of us together since our first wedding anniversary.  As you might have guessed, it hasn't gone well, at all. We tried again this week, and NOPE, wasn't about to happen. 

My husband is what you call...anti camera.  He hates cameras.  Hates having his picture taken hates the whole photo shoot process.  He hates dressing up, hates smiling in photos, just hates the whole shebang. I ask myself why I married him some days (I joke I joke).  With my love of the camera, and his negative reaction to the camera, it can be frustrating to say the least! I feel like my kids will have pretty much NO good photos (or any photos) of their parents together.

When our anniversary photos were a bust I decided to scratch that whole fiasco and just go out and take my OWN photos, of ME for my BIRTHDAY! It's fun, and it gives me a little confidence booster, something I majorly need some days.  I don't find myself to be all that pretty, especially within the past 4 years.  I have gained more weight than I've ever cared to gain in my entire life, and it makes me feel crappy about myself. 

Generally I am the one BEHIND  the camera.  That's where I now like to be, I used to prefer to be IN FRONT OF the camera.  Now I want to hide behind it.  Which is sad. 

I spend a lot of time telling others that they are beautiful and to be bold and love who they are and they look FANTASTIC in their photos, because they DO! I'm always telling moms to not be afraid to be in photos with their kids no matter what they think they look like, because they don't look the way they envision.  Moms are beautiful, every single one. 

However, it's easier to SAY those words to others...than it is to live them myself when I'm the one who has the lens pointed at me! I felt very self conscious in my birthday photos (even more so than I did the year before). 

When looking at the photos later, I decided several really weren't bad at all, and were quite nice.





This is my friends dog, her name is Bunny and she is the coolest dog ever!










Today for my birthday my daughter was soooo excited to tell me "I LOVE YOU TO PLUTO AND BACK MOMMY!"  and she informed me she wanted to bake me a really tall tall cake, the biggest one EVER for my birthday.  My sons smothered and squished me with me with hugs and kisses, and told me they wanted to blow up a million balloons for us to play in and pop together (I love popping balloons, hahaha)!

My birthday did NOT start out the way I had envisioned.  I got my daughter off to school and came home to make sure the husband got off to college.  However his rheumatoid arthritis was really kicking his butt this morning and he was as stiff as could be.  So he stayed home and I started on regular morning house hold chores (hey they don't go away just because it is your birthday). 

However, I was called out of the house by friends who needed me for a foster dog volunteer emergency so I went to help them, hoping I'd be back in time to get my sons off to preschool (which I was iffy about sending them, they got their flu shots the day before and this morning they seemed to be feeling a little blaaaah and run down).  However they perked up by the time they went to preschool.  I wasn't home in time to get them ready, but the husband picked up and got them dressed and off to school, which was super awesome. 

A neighbor surprised me by bringing me some red velvet cream cheese cupcakes, Mmmm! SO GOOD! Thank you!

Another good friend bought me the coolest travel coffee cup ever, it's one I've been wanting for a LONG time! It looks like a camera lens! Looove it, and can't wait to drink coffee out of it in the morning.

Numerous phone calls (My Mother called and sang me Happy Birthday on the phone like she does every year, I love it) and Facebook messages from family and friends kept me smiling all day, and a surprise birthday lunch at my favorite Chinese restaurant from my husband just made my day.

The only down fall was having to spend a wee bit of time at the DMV to renew my drivers license.  Thankfully it really didn't take that long, that was a relief.

Tomorrow another good friend has invited me over to her new place to eat lunch with her for a late birthday lunch, and I can't wait.  I'm excited for our lunch date.  It's always great to hang out with friends.

For now I must  get to bed, I start a new babysitting adventure tomorrow...wish me luck with that one!

Mae



Thursday, October 10, 2013

Crafting -- Ghostly Apparitions

I give up on the whole 31 days of Halloween Crafts.  Not gonna happen for another year in a row.  Hey, at least I gave it a shot, right?  So far the kids and I have managed to do a whole whopping  two crafts, well technically today's craft I did totally by myself because the kids were having far too much fun playing in the back yard in their new tree house.  Which is fine, because I don't think they would have had too much fun with this simple craft. 

I cannot take any credit for tonight's craft, I've seen it floating around Pinterest and on Facebook as well.  I don't know who originally came up with the idea, and I'm sure it's an idea that's been around for ages, since before Facebook and Pinterest.

Nothing is really truly "ORIGINAL" anymore it seems!

Anyway, I didn't bother looking up the 'how to' on this craft I just went by memory and eye balled it and called it good, it's not exactly a craft that takes a lot of brain power, or time or effort, or supplies. 

All you need are:
  • Some rinsed milk or orange juice containers (I used two, one gallon milk jugs and one half gallon orange juice container). 
  • Black permanent markers or black paint (I used the permanent markers because it was easier and I felt like being lazy and not dragging out my paints)
  • A pair of scissors
  • Some dry Navy Beans (they are white so aren't as noticeable as a darker bean would be)  These are optional I just used a few to weigh the jugs down a bit so they hopefully wouldn't blow away so easily. 
  • Battery operated, flameless candles.  (I purchased some at the Dollar Store that have 120 hours of life to them). 

I kept the lids off of the jugs, and saved them in my 'lid' jar to be used on some other craft at another point in time. 

I made sure the jugs had been rinsed thoroughly and filled them with hot water to help the labels peel off easier.  I dumped out the hot water after peeling off the labels and allowed the jugs to dry (I did this step yesterday as it can take a bit for the jugs to dry out, but you don't want to put dry beans in a wet jug and the battery operated candles don't do so well in  wet jugs either). 

When I knew the jugs were dry I drew on the eyes and mouth for my little ghosties and colored them in.  (You can use the marker here or the paint). 

I then took scissors and cut a whole in the back of the jug just big enough to fit my hand in.  I dumped in some beans to give the jugs some weight and then turned on a flameless candle and poked it in.  I then sat my little ghosts on the front steps and they glowed all ghostly!

It isn't the best picture of my little ghosties, but you get the general idea!



Like I said, I cannot take credit for this idea as I've seen it floating around but didn't ever do more than just glance at it.  This is just how I created my ghosties, I'm sure you could Google or look it up on Pinterest for full instructions on how to make them, or how to make them even better. 

I've seen people shove white Christmas lights in a bunch of milk jugs and line their yards or drive ways with them for a little spooktacular decoration.  I however, am not that creative or bored.  Plus I have 3 dogs that would just chew through the Christmas lights in the jugs like they do my Christmas Tree lights every single year.

Who knows if I'll get any other Halloween Crafting done! I have several other ideas (some involving the kids creating things, others not so much).  Right now I have a pile of clean laundry that keeps insisting to be put away.  I keep hoping it'll magically go fold crawl into the dressers on it's own, but apparently I do not have haunted laundry. So have to do the dreary house hold chores before I do the fun crafting.  Priorities people.  (Gosh, it sucks being an adult sometimes)!

Today was also SCHOOL PICTURE DAY for my oldest child.  She was pretty excited and wanted to go "rock star" as she called it.  She's a ham.  I can't wait to see how her pictures turned out.  Of course I had to do a quick pic before I drove her to school! Thankfully they did her grades pics first because by the time she came home...her hair was a wreck, and the bow was stuffed in her back pack somewhere.


We were going to visit a corn maze this weekend, but we decided against it.  It's a very LONG corn maze and my youngest son (the one who fought cancer as a newborn), complains of leg pain when he has to do too much walking so we try to avoid things that we KNOW will cause him irritation.  When the Keegster gets agitated...the whole WORLD knows about it. We just didn't really think the kids would enjoy the corn maze this year, so maybe we'll do it next year.

Every year my husband and I always dress up with the kids for Halloween.  This year I totally forgot to find a costume.  So I grabbed an orange witch hat on a head band, and bought an orange shirt and sewed on black eyes and a mouth...I'm a giant pumpkin (hardy har har no comments).  It was quick and easy and took little effort, therefore it works! The husband is going as a zombie, he really tried hard to create a whole zombie army with our children but they were just like "eeeeeh....no thanks" so he's going zombie on his own.

Anyway, that laundry isn't going to fold itself (obviously).  Someone might as well do it...and that looks like it'll be me! Night folks!

Mae

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

Field Trips, Halloween, Crafting, Life...and stuff.

It has been a pretty crazy month so far.  Been keeping really busy with doctor appointments, school events, babysitting, and a list too long to bother repeating.  Life has just been busy.  Can't really complain, I like it when things are busy.  However, I think the husband is seriously trying to do me in with stress.  He seems to know how to kill me with anxiety.  Not.  Cool. 

Anyway, I finally have a few photos done up for my daughters first field trip to a fairly local pumpkin patch.  She had a lot of fun and so did I, although I couldn't get her to take a photo with me (apparently that isn't cool to pose in a photo with your mom on a field trip, eh I tried anyway).  I did get a couple sneak shots of her with her father which is always nice, you don't find too many photos of them together either.

My husband kept trying to get our daughter to hold his hand and she was all like "uh NO Dad, I'd rather hold MOM'S hand"  Haha score one for me! Sure she wouldn't take a picture with me, but at least she would hold MY hand. 

She really enjoyed feeding the  goats and petting them.


They had a large tank with about 4 enormous cat fish that probably could have swallowed a few of the kindergartners in my daughters class whole.  BIG fish.


She had fun choosing a pumpkin to bring home.  She ended up with a decent sized one, and her father found one that looked like a butt..so of course he had to buy it extra and bring it home for our sons to share it (2 pumpkins for the price of one, he's such a cheap skate)

He also bought this LARGE and extremely HEAVY pumpkin to carve for our front porch.  How does a pumpkin THIS big (and pricey...) ride home?  Of course it rides home in style, all seat belted into the van! I didn't want that heavy sucker to go FLYING should I slam on the breaks suddenly or something.

Halloween costumes have been purchased.  However, Keegan made a last minute costume change, we were not able to find a red Power Ranger costume at the store we first looked at, and I know that is a pretty popular costume this year so I was like "Ehhh hey let's been a Ninja Turtle instead!"  He was like YAY! Sounds great.  So we bought said costume, he looks ADOOORABLE in it.  Two days later we go into ANOTHER store and what do I find?  A red Power Ranger costume.  *sigh*  Guess who ELSE sees it....yeh...lovely.  Too bad he was playing pirate with his brother and sister next to me in the aisle and had a plastic pirate sword.  Oh no.  I'm not going to argue with a 4 year old holding me at plastic pirate sword point...(ok so no he wasn't LITERALLY holding me at plastic sword point, but hey, I wasn't willing to take a chance, ok)?  So I got the Red Ranger costume for him (and it was half the price of the Ninja Turtle Costume).  Too bad we had already ripped the tags and stuff off of that costume, or the turtle would have made a hasty trip back to the store.  Alas, the turtle is now in the dress up bin.  Though I am trying to get Marshall to wear it.  Marshall is instead a "foot soldier" from the Ninja Turtles.  Ok well he's actually that black GI Joe Ninja guy from he new GI Joe movie (that I haven't seen yet so I have NO clue what I'm talking about, only what I read on the tag of the darn costume).  But Marshall insists he is a foot soldier from the Ninja Turtles.  You know...the bad guy.  Now that Keegan wants to be a Red Ranger, Marshall says his costume now makes him the black Power Ranger or one of the bad guys, either way he is happy.  Usually he wants to be Bat Man! My daughters costume...I'd rather not talk about as we ended up paying FAR more for it then I intended! Husband didn't bother to tell me about it till we were loading up the car after shopping, and would he let me take it back in and demand my money back?  Of course not.  So the child had better treat this dumb costume like gold.  I do NOT pay an arm and a leg for costumes! That is ridiculous.  Though, I will say...she makes one gosh darn adorable Snow White.


So for awhile now I've had a secret that I've been DYING to say, but couldn't.  I FINALLY was able to say something about it and it just has made my day.  Recently found out my little sister is expecting her first child, she is making me an Aunt again.  I love welcoming new babies into the family (especially when I'm not the one having them, because that ship has SAILED this mama does NOT want anymore children of her own)!  I will say, I wish her circumstances were a bit better, but a baby is a baby and deserves all of the love and support it can get, and I intend on being the bestest darn Auntie to little Peanut that I can.  I love being an Aunt!

I have a niece in Heaven who would be a year older than my daughter, I have 2 nephews (one who is a few months younger than my daughter, and one who is a year younger than my sons).  Those three children are from my stepsister.   I also have a nephew in Heaven, would be 3 years old I think this month. There is my sweet little niece Faith that I have mentioned before (They would be my sister in laws children).  She is 14 and a half months old right now.  Now my little sister is expecting.  I kinda hope my sisters baby is a little girl (though as long as it is healthy it doesn't matter)! That way I can have 3 nephews and 3 nieces total.  Although, it has been a while since there was a little boy born into the family! Either way the kid will certainly be loved and adored by plenty of family! I'm excited to meet little Peanut when the day comes for the arrival of this blessed little family member.

I don't get to see my little sister very often, so I was THRILLED at the unexpected chance to go visit her.  I adore my baby sister and wish her the best in mother hood.  It's not for the faint of heart that's for sure! HA! But I know she can do it, she's an amazing young woman.
You may have noticed in some photos, that my sons are both very blessed with a LOT of hair.  They kind of get that from their Mom, as I have thick locks of hair too.  Anyway, I love their hair and think it looks faaaaabulous.  However, it was getting a WEE bit out of control, and a bit unruuuly.  Not to mention they had no eyes.  All you saw, was hair.  Hair was everywhere.  I have no idea how they saw anything.  Don't get me wrong, it was adorable, but I wanted to see their BIG brown eyes and looong luscious lashes. 

The boy was just a  little TOO happy about his new hair cut and getting his picture taken!

More focused on Scooby Doo cartoon than letting Mommy get a picture.  Trust me, this was the best one I was going to get of him.  Silly boy.
 
Sooo a hair cut was in order.  They do not look like the same little boys that is for certain.  However they DO look absolutely adorable.  They have school pictures coming up next month, so we'll see how they turn out. Their hair will have grown out actually quite a bit by then! Marshall didn't want to be too cooperative for a photo this morning, he's kind of camera shy.  Keegan on the other can was a little TOO excited to have his picture taken this morning!  It's great to be able to see their big brown eyes again!

I was hoping to get 31 days of Halloween crafting in this year, but alas, it is yet again for like the 100th year (ok exaggerating) not going to happen.  We've done a whopping total of 1 Halloween craft so far and here it is already over a week into October.  Laaaaame.  Do you think I can even find the PHOTO of that craft we did?  Of COURSE not.  When I stumble across it again, I'll post it.  Esentially all we did was take some cheap paper plates, flipped them over to the back, and the kids colored them orange ALL OVER.  Then we cut out faces (well I cut out the eyes and nose and mouth and stuff, in hindsight I should have let the kids do it for a more interesting affect but I was tired and just wanted to get it done).  So I cut the shapes out for them.  Then they glued them where they wanted them.  We punched a whole in the top and put in a bit of green pipe cleaner and curled it to look like a pumpkin vine, and added a bit of brown construction paper for the stem.  Tada.  Fantastic.  Easy.  You could always cut corners and get a package of party plates that already come in orange, and then buy some foam shapes (that are already in the shape of pumpkin mouths and eyes and stuff) and just stick those foam stickers on the orange plate as a pumpkin.  You can still add the green pipe cleaner and stem if you'd like, then hang those suckers up all over the house.  I know their are other parents out there like me who want to do craft projects, but nothing that is going to be too many steps, or will break the piggy bank. 

I know that with my daughter in kindergarten now and my sons going to preschool in the afternoon there just does NOT seem to be enough time in the day.

They get home at around 4 in the evening and then I'm making supper, we're working on homework, cleaning out papers out of the back packs, doing chores, taking bathes, getting in jammies and going to bed.  There was suddenly no time for a craft project!

I DO have a couple that I want to do soon though, hopefully tomorrow we'll get one done. 

Anyway, I'm a slacker and need to get my daughters clothes laid out because laundry was still being worked on when she went to bed.  So I'll dig out her clothes for tomorrow and hope she approves.  Then I am going to bed!

Mae

Friday, October 4, 2013

Conversational Field Trips

So with three children 6 and 4 (yes that math adds up when you have twins, and trust me I've had to explain that math on more than one occasion to people who tried to argue with me, ha)! With young kids, funny conversations are never something we go without.  Usually they happen at the most unexpected moments.  I think I may have mentioned some of the funny things my kids have said in the past. 

Although, bright and early in the morning it isn't usually the kids that make you scratch your head in confusion.  Have you ever woke up all groggy and brain lapsed and try to stumble (but you feel you are gracefully gliding across the treacherous terrain of your room...)  and you are headed DIRECTLY for the bathroom because your bladder is gonna EXPLODE.  So you are full on, blindly, basically running to your bathroom...only someone EVIL shut the door....and you can't see because the lights are still off and if you turned them on your eyes would turn to vampire ash in the sockets.  You plunge head first....and find....BAM the door was shut.  That.  Hurts.  But of course it's all hypothetical, because I would NEVER EVER EVER do such a thing as fun full force into a closed bathroom door at 5:30 or 6 in the morning.  Nope.  I would never ever do that.

This morning was my daughters first kindergarten field trip.  I was a chaperone along with my husband and several other moms for my daughters kindergarten class.  My first field trip as a MOMMY! Yay! I've waited 6 years for this moment!

Of course nothing went as planned though.

We were sooo far behind on our day it wasn't even funny.  My daughter nearly missed the bus to leave for the field trip.  I drove her to school today, and then my husband and I were going to follow the bus to wherever the blue blazes that pumpkin patch was located. I will never be able to find my way back there again.

Anyway, we had some major errands we had to run before we went to my daughters school.  Of course the traffic that early of a morning SUCKS around here and we were nearly late. 

On our way to the store (we had to pick up a quick lunch for my husband and I to have during the field trip because we had forgotten to pack one).  I had just turned onto the high way, and there is the most awful screaming that broke loose from my son Keegan in the very back of the van.  My heart nearly leapt out of my throat and I am not sure how I kept from driving into on coming traffic with how bad he scared me to death with that scream.

He continues to scream, and there isn't a SINGLE thing I can do about it as I'm stuck and can't get out of traffic.  My husband is doing his best from the front seat to find out what is wrong in the back seat.  FINALLY my son calms down enough to scream "SPIDER!! It's ON ME!! It's GONNA EAT ME!!!!!!"  I'm thinking, OH NO he has some kind of big brown recluse spider on him and it's going to bite him and he'll get sick.  I thankfully hit the store parking lot about that time and swerve into a parking spot and the husband is jumping out of the van and throwing up the van doors and ripping apart a car seat to kill this spider that dares to endanger our child. 

There is no spider.  We can't find it. 

Keegan is still sobbing and shaking.  (Mind you this is the kid that says he is Spiderman....) 

My husband goes "There is nothing back here, cept a fly.  I think he was afraid of a FLY"  No.  My son knows what a fly is.  If he says he saw a big child eating spider on his lap, he saw a big child eating spider on his lap. 

Husband goes to shut the doors and I see it.  I see the viscious, evil, rotten spider that was scaring my child....

Oy.

It was the TINIEST little spider ever.  It was dangling from a web near him though.  Keegan looks over and sees it just near his head and freaks out all over again. That's IT MOM!! KILL IT!! KILL IT!!! It's gonna EAT ME!!

At this point....

"Really son.  REALLY?  All that fuss over THIS harmless little spider?"  Before I can do anything my husband borrows his sons flip flops and SMASH...little green spider is squishy mess.  He is no more.  My son is relieved and goes about business as usual. 

Yeesh.  All that fuss for a little bitty spider. 

Though it's not only children that say things that make you go "WHAT?"

While on our way to my daughters school we were stopped at a 4 way stop.  A man and woman drove through on their older styled gas powered scooter things. My husband remarked how we needed some of those scooters, and I commented something to the affect of "yeh,  they are pretty nice" or something like that.  Anyway, it boiled down to my husband going "eh he's not bad looking"  I was like...wha?  Are we talking about the same thing here?  He goes "Oh you weren't checking out the guy on the scooter, I figured you were checking him out"  Eh..no?  I am not in the habit of checking out other guys, especially ones on scooters ha! So we had a good joke about that. I'm pretty sure my daughter thinks we're crazy. 

Last night at around 11 the phone rang.  I knew it was late, and didn't recognize the number, so against better judgment I answered the phone.  We sometimes get drunk dialed phone calls, and they can be humorous and I love confusing the hell out of drunk people.  So I answered.  This older guy replied in what I can ONLY imagine he uses as his 'sexy voice' "Hello....baby"  I almost died from laughter. 

I decided, I'll go with it.  Probably just another drunk phone call....

"Why...hellooo, what can I do for you?  Who are you...calling for?" 

The dude was totally caught off guard.  He stammered around, and ended up hanging up.  As soon as I went to hang up I got another look at the number that had called and realized it was a call that came in that must have been for my mother in law!! (Found out tonight that yep it WAS for her after all, I've never laughed so hard, hahaha)!!

Yesterday, while dropping my husband off at college, we stopped to get a coffee at our favorite little coffee shop on the way to the college.  We bought the twins a big huge blueberry muffin a piece to eat for breakfast since they were being so good.  Marshall was immeidetely 'nom nom nomin' that sucker down.  With a mouth full of the most delicious blueberry muffin on the face of the planet, I hear him say "Mommy, you are my love muffin" 

Awwww.  Thanks. 

"NO MOM.  I SAID I LOVE MUFFINS!!!"  

Oooooh.  Well, I still love you.  And muffins.  Muffins are yummy, I love blueberry muffins too they are sooo yummy! Did I mention I love you too son?  I also love muffins.  I think I'll adopt one.

Driving to the field trip was an adventure.  I do NOT venture out of town very often! Especially when it comes to driving in the city (and for the record it isn't that much of a 'city' I use that term loosely.  I drive in the town I live in, and that's pretty well it. Cept I did do the biggest majority of the driving when we went on our vacation this summer.  Cept I REFUSED to drive in Omaha, made my mother in law do that. If she wrecked the van in town it was on her, not me.

Somehow my husband and I managed to NOT get lost going TO the field trip, however coming home was a different story.  Somehow we ended up at a Bed Bath and Beyond, not that I'm complaining! Was nice to go in there and just look around, oh and get directions to get out of town....which I failed at miserably.  It'd be fair to say though that the woman gave crappy directions, and that my husband is no "TomTom" ha!

We had to turn around at least 3 different times and finally made our way out of the maze of idiots and crazy drivers.  Pretty sure I sprouted several new gray hairs. 

The field trip itself was really fun.  It was hot, but it was fun to see my daughter have fun with her class mates.  Though she did inform a little boy on her bus that his mom "cheated" because she rode the bus and she wasn't supposed to because HER mom and dad had to drive there.  Sassy girl.

Oh and I also got bounced out of a big Indian tepee by Big Chief Little Runt herself (my daughter).  Apparently that tepee wasn't for adults, only for kids (could have fooled me, pretty sure it was an ADULT sized tepee)!

 We also went Halloween costume shopping.  I hate costumes.  HATE THEM.  I especially hate taking my children to BUY the costumes.  What my kids actually WANT to be is NEVER there.  Ever.

So instead of a Red Power Ranger and a Blue Power Ranger, we have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle, and a Ninja dude from GI Joe, only instead of being a Ninja dude from that he's actually a "foot ninja" from the Ninja Turtles, because Marshall said so and that's just the way it is going to be, got it?  YOU BETTER. 

My daughter apparently wants to be Snow White for Halloween.  Great.  I thought she was going to be Sleeping Beauty?  She decided that nope, she wanted to be something else.  Ooooof coooourse.  She had also wanted to be Wonder Woman, Super Girl, Spider Girl, Bat Girl....blah blah blah.  If she changes her mind again, she can wear a brown paper sack. 

We got my daughter one of those Michel Mercier no more tangle hair brushes.  It's the only thing my daughter has been asking for.  I was VERY iffy.  We got it, and it does ok.  I don't think it's really anything all that special, it honestly reminds me of a dog brush.  My daughter seems to think it's the best thing since detangling spray. 

While we were at the field trip with my daughter, our sons hung out with the baby sitter, and they had a lot of fun.  Painting a pumpkin, watching TV and being well behaved for them...you know, using up all of that good juju at some one else's house instead of using it at home.  Thanks guys....

It's late and I don't really feel like working up a few pics for the blog.  So tomorrow I'll share a couple of cute pics from the field trip. 

Mae