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| Backpacks are bought, and full of supplies and all the things the teachers ask them to bring. New shoes bought, school clothes, crayons, art boxes and so much more! Ready for the first day of preschool this year. |
All 3 children are going to preschool. For 16 hours a week....they will be gone. Away from their Mommy whom loves them dearly....but who needs a break. School will be good for them, and me. We'll be able to have away time. We need that. Instead of being in each others faces 24/7!
Kamilah will be starting her last year of preschool, while the boys are going into their first year of preschool. Keegan is finally excited to start preschool, and Marshall is beyond excited. Every single morning he asks if today is the day. He has almost 8 days left before preschool starts, I think he can make it that long! I hope so anyway, I dunno with the way their fighting has amped up the past few days I'm beginning to wonder.
Yet, my husband has the nerve to ask if we can have another baby! *insert hysterical laughter from me* No. Absolutely freaking NOT. As in HELL NO. I'm sorry, but I LOVE babies, I LOVED being pregnant, I LOVED having my newborns to snuggle, and yes I have enjoyed nearly every part of parenting, but I do NOT have a desire to have "just one more baby".
I have one gorgeous little girl, and 2 darling little boys. (Well they are all so sweet most of the time, other times...their father shows in them, haha).
I feel good about the number of kids I have, I feel blessed. I do not have the desire to push my luck with just one more. I wouldn't say I had super easy pregnancies, but they weren't awful, and they were certainly a LOT better than some women's pregnancies have been. I just don't feel like I should press my luck, I just feel like if I were to get pregnant again...it wouldn't be a good pregnancy. Plus having a son with seizures, and one who has fought cancer....it scares me. Would another baby be born with something even worse? My cousins son has Hyptoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, my niece was just born with birth defects on her hands and feet, if I had another baby....would it be healthy? I'm almost 30 years old (I'll be 28 in October). The older you get, the more that can be wrong with both you and the baby. I do not feel like pressing our luck.
Plus with raising the 3 kids we have now I've felt like a single mom a majority of the time. Though most of the time my husband was working anywhere from 1-3 jobs at a time, but some of that time he just had other things to do, like being everywhere but home. (mainly hanging out with friends or being depressed and not feeling well at home due to his health issues). So that's caused a load of stress and frustration. I don't want to go through that again.
There are 19 months between my daughter and the boys, I like that age. If I were to have another...there would be 6 or 7 years between the youngest and Kams, I'm not ok with that age gap. I don't want my kids years apart, so I'm good with where they are.
I think his big issues it the fact that his sister just had a baby on the 22nd of July, so he's got baby fever. I understand that, I'm around pregnant women a lot and around women who have just had babies. That thought is always going to be there. But it's a passing thought. Not a realistic one.
Sure I always wanted 4 kids, but plans change. I also wanted a HUGE house, and a convertible. I don't have those either. I'm happy with what I have. I don't have a lot but I have 3 beautiful children that mean the world to me.
Plus I already feel frazzled and running behind all the time anyway, would it be fair to my kids if we had another? No. Would it be fair to a new baby? No. Now if only I could get this through my husband's thick skull. Argh.
Right now I'm just playing it off, and being FIRM on the no. He doesn't like it, but I think he'll wisen up soon. I'm pretty sure the problem is the new baby in the family LOL he's just got a wild case of the baby fever, so he's going to be banished to the couch for awhile. Haha.
Life isn't a contest, there is no need to have a baby just because someone else in the family has had one, I don't do that, I don't agree with that. My life isn't a contest against anyone else, and there is NO reason that I "NEED" another child.
My daughter doesn't "need" a little sister. My sons don't "need" to be big brothers. My mother in law doesn't "NEED" anymore grand kids from us. My niece doesn't "need" a cousin "her age" to play with. No. We don't need any of those things.
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| **Family Photo, taken by Fairfeather Studio, 2011** Keegan, Kamilah, and Marshall Perfect. Photo. Of. My. Kids. |
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| ** Family Photo by Fairfeather Studio, 2011** Kamilah, Keegan and Marshall Another fantastic photo of my 3 wonderful children |
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| **Family photo, by Fairfeather Studio, 2011** My beautiful, one and only daughter! |
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| **Family Photo by, Fairfeather Studio, 2011 Keegan and Marshall The bestest sons I could I ever ask for. |
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| **Family Photo by, Fairfeather Studio, 2011** Keegan My strong little fighter, kicking NEUROBLASTOMA's BUTT all over the place! July 31st was his 3 year cancer diagnosis anniversary August 9th we found out he is OFFICIALLY 2 years NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE! Whoop whoop! Go Keegan! |
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| **Family Photo, by Fairfeather Studio, 2011** Marshall My sweet and cuddly love bug! Always a smile on his cute and adorable face! |
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| **Family Photo by, Fairfeather Studio, 2011** MY family I love and adore |
We had planned on being done with 2 kids (though we always wantd 4 we agreed it was too much), but we were not expecting twins. I mean yes, anyone could have twins, but no one really EXPECTS it to happen to them, until they get the news, then you sit in shock for like...a week before it really sinks in. Then you just go with the flow.
I will instead, just dote and love on my newborn niece. I had the extreme honor of taking her newborn photos the other day. She's just so sweet and I love her newness and sweetness and cuteness. I'm a very happy Auntie.
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| Sweet Faith |
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| My husband, a very happy proud Uncle holding his sisters little girl. She looks VERY tiny when he's holding her! |
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| I love this one of Faith |
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| Yes, she is a little Princess! |
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| Yeh, she's got attitude ;) |
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| Love this one |
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| Love this one |
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| Another favorite, I had so much fun taking her new born photos! |
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| Faith being held by her Mommy, so sweet! |
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| Kisses from Auntie! (I was not really expecting to have my photo taken so I look...eh...blah) |
I love being an aunt, it's fantastic! I have 2 living nephews, 1 living niece, 1 angel niece and 1 angel nephew, and I love them all so very much.
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| Me with my stepsisters 2 little boys Freddy and Charle. Love these little guys. Freddy was recently in the hospital, he had a grand mal seizure and had to be rushed to the Children's hospital. He went to having trouble with his bloos sugars too, it was very scary for his mom and our whole family! He is back home now and they area keeping a close eye on him. |
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| Happy little boy ready to go get those scans done! He's a very big boy when it's time for scans, I am very proud of him! This was the day of his last scan, his MIBG  Keegan with his IV in and ready to get this CT scan done!   |
A few days later we went to the park for a picnic and play time with friends! We've kind of been celebrating his NED news for several days now :) I think he deserves it, 2 years NED is a SUPER big deal with Neuroblastoma (and all childhood cancers!)
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| We had a fantastic time at the park and having a picnic and water fight and tons of plalytime! Great way to celebrate Keegan being NED and the fact that school is starting up again! |
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| My daughter and one of her best friends hanging out |
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| My daughter and sons and their friend hanging out on the neighbors swing :) |
And I had to share my nails I did tonight :) I think they are cute, not professional but they work, I like them anyway!
Anyway, time to go! My bed is calling my name.
Mae
