I wasn't expecting the eye doctor's office to call and tell me that they could get all three kids in at 10:30 this morning instead of 1:10 this afternoon. OH, well ok that works I guess! So I scrambled to call the school to inform them I'd be picking the kids up at 10:15 instead of 12:45 for their appointment. They were worried my daughter would miss lunch (Right, like I'd let her go without lunch, I would have taken them out to lunch and THEN taken them back to school, I mean come on, that's what moms do, right). Anyway, needless to say it was a quick appointment and they ALL made it back in time for lunch, so it was all good.
So it seems like my sons will be sporting glasses like their big sister. *sigh* THIS should be interesting!! Thankfully they only really need to wear them at school. My daughter got a talking to by the eye doctor for trying to sneak out of wearing her glasses at school, and that she needs to WEAR them so her eyes can adjust to them so they can correct the issue that needs to be corrected. Her eyes aren't cooperating together and working as a team which makes reading difficult.
So Son Circus #2 chose some super cute metal red frames, they will look so adorable on him! Son Circus #1 chose some plastic blue frames, that are oh so adorable on him. I am going to have to get used to seeing all three of my kids with glasses! The boys have an astigmatism, which is something I dealt with when I was in elementary, but at least I didn't need my glasses until sixth grade so I held out a little bit longer.
After the eye appointment and the kids were safely deposited off back at school, the husband circus and I were stumped on what to do. So we ran some errands, and then we were HOPING to get our anniversary photos taken, but that didn't happen. So he decided "hey, why not take your 3rd annual birthday photos!"
For three years in a row now, I will confess, I've done birthday photos...of myself. It may seem silly to some, but I've enjoyed it. It isn't often I get to dress as snazzy as possible and be the center of focus for any reason. It's a mood lifter, plus the kids will have photos of their mom to look back on when I'm an old gray haired lady or dead and gone.
If I could get my husband to see that point of view, it'd be great. As it is, he is very anti be in photos. We do have a FEW good photos of him though, they are some of my faves and he isn't even aware in a lot of them that he is being photographed. The candid shots are my favorite of him. I think the kids will love those too as they get older.
Photos are so very important to me. Photos are literally ALL I have left of my Father who killed himself when I was barely a year and a half old. I have no MEMORIES of him, so the photos are all I have left to cling to of him. I don't have many photos of my Mother, or of her Mother either as neither one of them liked having their photo taken. So anytime I'm around my Mother or my kids are around her I make sure to get photos with her and of her with my kiddos, because I want my kids to have photos of their Grandmother and with her. YES I even get photos of the kids with my husbands mom...even though I'd like to strangle her sometimes (oooh that's a whoooole nother story, but that's what happens when you mother in law moves in with you, word of advice. DO NOT do it).
As a MOM we sometimes fail to have photos of us around, and as our kids get older and out on their own the may start to ask for photos from when you were younger, or question why there are no photos of mom, or of mom with the kids etc. I know that for me, I sometimes feel down and icky about how much weight I put on after the twins were born, and I'm not going to lie it's been hard to lose it, because it's been hard to get the motivation and self esteem up enough to DO anything about it. Factor in a slow working thyroid that literally makes you feel exhausted and sluggish all of the time, and that makes even MORE tricky to lose weight, it's frustrating. So it's easy to feel ugly and unimportant and want to hide from the camera.
I've had to work hard to just be ME. Live in the skin I'm in, embrace it, and love me, and then I can do something about it. Slowly it's happening, and I'm happy about that. Birthday photos have been a fun way for me to get a self esteem boost and have a lot of fun. So I always suggest to moms to just get all dolled up one day and just take some photos. That doesn't mean make duck lips in your bathroom mirror (if you do that, please be sure to clean your bathroom first...including the mirror, and the toilet, and empty out the bathroom trash, and make sure there is no one sitting on the toilet, and all of those other awful selfies we've seen people take with their cell phones and post all over Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and stuff).
Speaking of selfie, isn't that just the most awful word? I don't know why, but it just gets under my skin. I hate the way it sounds, I almost kick myself for typing it, and I feel like biting my tongue off when I hear myself SAY that word. I just don't like it. Some of the things they call "selfies" now aren't really selfies. Many are just PORTRAITS. To ME a selfie is a photo where you turn the camera around, aim it at yourself and take the photo. THAT is a selfie (or taking a pic of your reflection in a bathroom mirror or window reflection...). Portraits taken by a photographer, or a friend or whatever, are not to me, called "selfies". Nor are ones with a whole group of people in it. That's a group photo. I don't know, I just hate that word selfie. *yack* (ew, can't believe how many times I TYPED THAT WORD!)
Here is a self portrait (haha, see what I did there...) one I took of the husband and I is probably as close as we will ever get to taking an anniversary photo of the two of us together. There just never seems to be anyone available to get photos of us when the husband has the day off. I hate not having many photos of us together since the kids were born. I need photos of us together. Being silly, being in love, being with the kids, being...whatever. Just as long as we're together in them. One of these days, one of us might not BE there anymore, and I'd like to have photos of us being together.
I promise I'm not being all cryptic because I'm turning 30 next week. I'm just always that cryptic, regardless of age.
However, I AM going to be 30 next week and I'm going to ROOOOCK IT. I'm actually pretty dog gone excited. The Husband Circus turned 30 last month, and wooooow, he did not handle that one so well. He was sooo moody and didn't even want to HEAR about his birthday. He told us to "forget I have a birthday coming because I'm not turning 30, ever". Oy vey. However, he's like that EVERY year, since he turned 20. Apparently, he does not age gracefully. (Don't tell anyone but he's starting to get a bit erm..thin, on top and he's REALLY not happy about that or the gray hairs he has). To be fair, I have a LOOOT of gray hairs myself! Though I think he and the kids caused me to have every single one of them.
This week has been Spirit Week, Friday is homecoming. Monday was HAT DAY, and today was silly sock day. My sons didn't care so much to participate in that one, and my daughter wore some silly socks but didn't really care about showing them off. Tomorrow is red day, and now I get to scrounge through my daughters closet for some red shirts. Red, is not her favorite color. Pink. Pink is her favorite color. Good luck to me. The sons however, will be easy they will have all kinds of red shirts!
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| Son Circus #1 loves stocking caps! |
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| Son Circus #2 is either going for an Indiana Jones look or is trying to look like Carl from the Walk Dead. |
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| Daughter circus, well she's just all bright colors and base ball caps! |
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| Aw yes, the Cooky Trio |
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| Well, it was crazy sock day today, but she didn't want to show off her crazy socks so we just took a picture of her with her cute braided hair. |
Tomorrow is also walk to school day, so I guess we're participating in that.
Tonight was McTeacher Night at the local McDonalds where the teachers come to work and people who dine in help raise money for the elementary schools here in town. So we ended up eating at McDonalds for supper tonight, which isn't something I generally am inclined to do. I have to be REALLY REALLY REALLY desperate to take my kids to McDonalds. However, the money goes to help the schools, and I have a hard time saying NO to the school. If it helps the kids, then well...ok...I'll do it for the kids.
Today I received a phone call from the principal. I always hate those phone calls. I always wonder "Uh oh...which kid is it...what happened? How bad are they hurt, or how bad did they hurt someone else, or what did they DO?"
I had my doubts about putting my sons on the "big bus" for school. Their IEP allows them to ride the smaller bus, but I wanted to give them a chance to ride the big bus. They LOVE riding the big bus, cept one thing...the whole staying in their seats situation. Son Circus #2 did a SUMMERSAULT in his seat today (mind you he shares a seat with a friend, so how exactly he managed that...I don't even think I want to know, and I am sorry for the poor kid sitting with my son). Son Circus #1 spends most of HIS time sitting in the floor board and trying to crawl under the seats. I mean REALLY!? How safe does ANY of that sound? The bus driver is FAR nicer than I am. I would have done pulled that bus over and hauled them off the bus (that's what MY bus driver growing up actually DID a few times to a couple of kids!!)
So my sons got a *gasp* referral. I stand behind the school on this one though. What they were doing was NOT safe at all. If it happens again...they are kicked off the bus for three days. EEEEP!! So two little boys are GROUNDED, which means no riding their bikes with friends after school, and no friends over, and no board games or video games, and a few extra chores.
I remind my sons EVERY single morning to "sit on your bottoms and keep your hands and bodies to yourself, the bus isn't a play ground". They say "OK MOMMY!! We'll be good!!" Apparently NOT! The bus driver even waved me over to the bus once to tell me they were having trouble staying in their seats. So they were grounded, and we had a big talk about bus safety. I continued to remind them EVERY SINGLE MORNING to behave on the bus.
Apparently...it hasn't sunk in. *hangs head*
What's a mom to do?
I asked the Principal today if he thought it would be best to put them back on the IEP bus (they know that driver and she has driven them since preschool and they listen to her very well and plus that bus as an aid on it that helps keep them all in line). The big bus does NOT have an aid on it (I would totally volunteer my services for that if I thought it would do any good, but the boys would probably utterly tune me out because they are around their "friends". Some times, it is REALLY frustrating being a mom to sons.
The Principal said he'd talk to some lady at the school, and they would get back to me. *gulp* that never sounds good, ya know? I just don't want the boys to get kicked off the bus for good. I wanted to give them a chance on the big bus, I was hoping they could handle it, but school hasn't been going that long and they are struggling with a simple request of stay in your seat. We have talked sooo much about bus safety, and what could happen if the bus were in an accident and they were on the floor or doing summersaults in their seats. Hoping for answers tomorrow, from the school as no one called me back today.
Some days I wonder if I'm doing this whole "parenting" thing right at all.
However, while at the grocery store tonight picking up some stuff we forgot earlier (which meant we HAD to take the kids with us *groan*). The boys were SOOOOO high strung it was RIDICULOUS. They were antsy. They have some SPD issues, like their sister, cept they are seekers. They constantly have to touch and be a part of EVERYTHING. I'd like to put cement shoes on their feet just to slow them down sometimes! However that would just make them stronger and then I REALLY wouldn't be able to keep up with them. So today their hands were flying all over the place at the store. OH I need to touch this, I need to feel that, oh what does this do, oh hey there's a box let's touch it, oh look a package of raw chicken, let me touch that, oh look a tomato let's poke it...etc....I took each of the boys by one hand (I might have well dipped their hands in battery acid because they were NOT happy I took each one of them by the hand, HOW DARE I). Anyway, after a few threats of going to the bathroom to have a CHAT with Mommy, they calmed down a bit but their free hand was still fluttering over everything we passed, so I made them put their "free hand" in their pocket, and walk around like that. They hate that. It's affective for them though! Usually I give them a job to do when we're at the store (they are getting too big to sit in the carts now). However, we were in a hurry today and didn't really have time to give them a job to do. We also ditch the check out lane, I leave the husband at the check out lane and I always take the kids and make a bee line to the van. I'd rather them have their melt downs and fits in the VAN than in the middle of the check out line, that...is NEVER pretty.
While forcing the boys to hold my hand in the store today and being very vocal about getting on to them in the store and letting them know that I was not happy with their behavior and they know I do not accept that behavior, and I reminded them of how I expect them to act in the store (granted I know they are not always going to be perfect angels, so I don't give them ENORMOUS over the top expectations, but I DO have expectations for them that are acceptable for THEM). I actually had other moms SMILE and NOD at me. One woman even commented how she was happy to FINALLY see a mom parenting her children and not just letting them do whatever and get whatever they want in the store. She said she understand it isn't easy (she raised 4 kids herself she said), but that they can be taught, all of them. That no, not every child is the same and some kids have reasons for acting the way they do, but that I was doing good, and to keep it up. I smiled at that woman, I wanted to hug her (but I was holding the hands of two small little boys and making sure my daughter wasn't slinking away behind us). It was nice to have a little validation (even if from a perfect stranger) that I was doing ok, and that it would be ok.
I always try to be "THAT" mom for others. Even when I'm struggling with my own kids, If I see someone ELSE struggling even more...I always try to say something kind to them, or their child. In fact, if I see another child throwing a fit, it totally throws my children off when I talk to that parent or child (I'm a self proclaimed comedian, I'm probably not funny at all, but I think I am so therefore it counts in Animal Cracker Circus Land so hush). So I usually break tense moments with jokes. Believe it or not...it seems to help most of the time. Even my own kids stop and look at me (though they might be trying to decide if their mom REALLY just said that, or if I've completely lost my mind, or wondering if I've gone so crazy that it isn't safe for them to even TRY to act out around me because they aren't quite sure what I might do next, because if I just said "THAT" and thought it was funny....well, there might not be any hope for them, haha). Eh, either way it's affective, win win right, ha!
At least when we got home things calmed down. They did their home work, hung out with their Daddy for a bit, and took their showers, and went to bed. Lovely way to close an evening. Everyone was calm, happy, clean, and exhausted. Now I can maybe get caught up on laundry so my daughter actually has some JEANS! Please explain to me how this daughter had 9 pairs of jeans at the beginning of the school year and is now down to 2 pairs? I have no idea where they vanished to. I only found 2 pair this evening going through the dirty pairs, so that brings the total of jeans for her up to 4. My sons are good to go on jeans, but that daughter of mine? Ack!
So I'd like to be able to say I'm finding some age 30 revelation or something. That it is starting to feel any different than being in my 20's but other than a few aches and pains, nope, not really any different at all (then again, I won't actually be 30 until next week). So as of now, no great epiphany, and I don't really foresee one coming anytime soon either. Maybe when I'm 40.
So on to that laundry and the sorting of red clothes for tomorrow!
Mom Circus
