Just Be Healthy

Uuugh.  I've been seeing the vaccination debate since 2007 when I found out I was pregnant with my very first child.  I found out I was pregnant with her in Jan. of 2007, and she was born Sept. of 2007, so I had 9 months (well technically 41.5 weeks to be exact) to read all about the whole vaccination debate and hear moms fight via the internet over the whole shebang.

It gets ugly people. 

Down.  Right.  U-G-L-Y. 

Why?  Because parents do NOT like to be told what they SHOULD or SHOULD NOT do with their children (Examples:  circumcision VS not, or breast feeding VS not, cloth diapering VS not, co sleeping VS not, attachment parenting VS not, stay at home moms VS not, young moms VS not, home schooling VS not, vaccinating VS not, natural birth VS not,  cry it out VS not, home birth VS not, spanking VS not,   etc etc the list goes on and on and on my friend, seriously. The "NOT" referring to the other opposing side of however someone feels about a subject.)

We hate being judged, and being told what to do with our children and what would make us "better" parents.  Or how wrong we are, yadda yadda.  We don't like to have our flaws pointed out (not that doing any of these [above] things makes us 'flawed' by any means, I just mean in general it makes us  HIGHLY uncomfortable to have our flaws pointed out to us as parents, as MOMS). 

Before we even HAVE our children, sometimes before we are even PREGNANT but have just let friends/family know we are trying for a kid, or are planning to have kids at some point in the future we are INSTANTLY bombarded with instructions.  The "how to's", 'Helpful' advice from moms of every age, variety, and experience.  This is how you should do this, this is how you should do that, if you don't do this then blah blah blah.  You then get to hear other moms talk about other moms. 

This happened today while I was at work actually.  I saw a mom sitting with her toddler (who is not her first kid, just the only one she has at home at the moment the others are apparently all in school).  Anyway, she was complaining about a friend with a young child, and it's her FIRST child.  Complaining about how the other mom does this or doesn't do that, and how she always calls asking advice and how it's SO annoying. 

I was like, WOW.  My kids haven't been 'babies' in a few years now, but I can see nothing has changed in the "MOM WORLD". 

Moms still slamming other moms. 

Moms still slamming their FRIENDS.  Hello.  You are both moms.  You both grew a baby in your stomach. Your bodies were both AMAZING and grew a HUMAN! How cool is THAT?  You brought that child into the world in the best way you could (whether C Section or not).  Your goal, is to raise that child to the best of YOUR ability. To love, nurture, and protect that precious tiny human that is now in your care. 

I think at that point, you can use all the help you can get.  All the 'friends' you can.  It's scary having a new baby! Please note, they do NOT come with owners manuals.  I've looked.  None of mine had one.  NONE.  They also did not come with a mute button, or volume control button, or a GPS system.  They are also not self cleaning (well they grow up to be that way, mostly...but it takes a few years).  They also don't come with a translating system either. 

However, I'm here to talk about vaccinating. 

I was vaccinated.  My husband was vaccinated, my Mother was vaccinated too.  (She still has the polio vaccination scar on her arm).  At least getting vaccinated for Polio that doesn't happen in our country anymore, at least not that I'm aware of. 

When my daughter was ready to be vaccinated I had a TON of questions.  I had seen and read the stuff posted on the baby board and seen the harsh arguments that ensued (from experienced moms and new moms and everyone in between).  It was crazy! I decided to talk to my pediatrician. 

Now, I'm not a huge fan of that particular pediatrician for things that transpired later when my twins were born, but at least, when it came to vaccinations he didn't play around.  I was made aware of what vaccinations he used, and what was in them, and how he felt about vaccinations. 

I was happy when I learned he was cool with a delayed vaccination schedule. 

So that's precisely what we did with my daughter.  Delayed her vaccinations, and we decided to NOT do the chicken pox vaccine at all because it wasn't proven to even really help at all anyway, so what was the point.  We just didn't do it. 

She got everything else, just broken down and at spread out time periods.  Worked for us.  Worked for my daughter.  I'm glad we did it that way.  She had a slight reaction to one particular vaccination (no it wasn't the MMR).  It wasn't anything out of the ordinary or dangerous, but it was a bit of a reaction.  It was scary, but not crazy scary.

Didn't scare me away from vaccinating my daughter. 

I wanted to keep her safe.  I didn't want her to get some of those awful illnesses.  I also didn't want her to have to hide from the world for fear of "catching" something going around.  I wanted to be able to GO places and DO things with my whole family and not fear my daughter contacting measles while we were out and about. 

When my twins were born I just assumed we'd do things the way we had with my daughter, you know what they say about assumptions, right? 

Well, when one of your sons is diagnosed with cancer at 3 months old you find yourself in a WHOLE NEW BALL PARK. 

He had BARELY had any vaccinations at all.  His immune system was still basically being protected by the immunities my body had given him, but soon those immunities wouldn't be enough.

Before we had much of a chance to think about anything regarding vaccinations, our son was diagnosed with cancer.  We were told he couldn't have any further vaccinations, and his siblings or his parents, couldn't have any LIVE virus vaccines.  Nice. (Did I mention that at the time my sons were born that H1N1 was going around real bad and was scaring the pants off of everyone!!) 

When my son was 6 months old he had to start chemo.  There went his immune system, taking a nose dive.  For 10 days after EVERY chemo (and he had 4 cycles of chemo, so he received a total of 40 shots), he had to have an immune boosting shot to help his system recover from chemo (that's the simple terms).  It was awful.  My kid has like NO meat on his bones, still to this day, he's a scrawny kid all bones and skin, he has the thinnest thighs I've ever seen, and I had to poke him with a needle in the "flabby" (did I mention he has THIN THIGHS) once a day for 10 days after every chemo.  JUST to help kick start his immune system so he wouldn't contact a simple illness or infection and die from it.  Yep, the flu, could have killed him. 

I scoured my home with bleach before he started chemo.  From top to bottom.  EVERYTHING.  I had so many cleaning chemicals in my home it was RIDICULOUS (this coming from the mom who has always tried to use healthy non chemical cleaning supplies in her home).  I bleached EVERYTHING down super good before he went to chemo. 

I put notes on the front door telling people they couldn't come in, they had to CALL 24 hours in advance before coming to visit, and could not be sick for 4 days before they came to visit.  If they had any kind of cough, runny nose, fever, WHATEVER, they were not welcome to visit. 

We didn't leave our home.  My kids and I lived like prisoners in our home.  My husband went to work, paid bills, did the grocery shopping and stuff like that.  He would "disinfect" himself (take a shower, use hand sanitizer on his hands etc) before handling our kids after one of those shopping trips. 

It went ok, our son was only admitted to the hospital twice for fever spikes.  One fever spike turned out to be nothing more than his immune system finally kicking in, which was good. 

The other fever...was Christmas day. 

That one, ticked me off and most likely COULD have been prevented. 

My mother in law had come to visit. We had asked her if she had been vaccinated against the flu/pneumonia/H1N1 (another requirement to gain access to our home during our sons chemo).  She assured us she had. 

She assured us she wasn't sick. 

She lied. 

She WAS sick.  She had a fever.  She didn't tell us.  She held my son, she coughed on him too. (Which made me snap and took my son from her, who coughs on a baby?  Especially one with a compromised immune system?) 

We ended up making her go home. 

Unfortunately he still ended up sick anyway several days later.  He ended up with pneumonia, which my Mother in law had also had when she came to visit us, but she lied to us and said she was perfectly fine. (Oh yes she had been to the doctor and NEW she had pneumonia too when she came to visit, she flat out LIED to us because she didn't see what the big deal was because she was on medicine for it, so she didn't bother to mention any of it).  That's just the kind of person she is....

It was an awful Christmas.  He spent it in the hospital, admitted for a fever spike, and found out it was pneumonia, and he was in the hospital for four days on strong antibiotics, and came home on strong antibiotics. 

Thankfully he bounced back from all of that, but what if he hadn't? 

Now there is nothing saying he wouldn't have gotten sick still if my Mother in law HAD vaccinated herself, if she HAD NOT been sick at all.  He could have still gotten sick.  It is a possibility. 

However, she knowingly lied to people, and knowing exposed a child with a compromised immune system to illness, in his OWN HOME. 

So many people say "Well if you are so worried about your compromised immune system child getting sick, just keep them at home!"  Um. We do.  Thank yeh very much.  Soooo many families live like prisoners in their home just trying to keep their immune compromised child SAFE and alive.  They make their kids wear face masks when they DO need to go places, and sanitize shopping carts and tables like crazy when they go out (only to get odd looks from other families like "OMG look at that GERMAPHOBE"  oh people, you have NO idea the hell in which families with an immune compromised child live in!) 

They aren't paranoid. 

When a regular cold for YOU is just uncomfy and makes you a little whiney....a regular cold to an immune compromised individual could be DEADLY in just a matter of days. 

Please tell me we have no reason to be upset over people NOT vaccinating.  (Come up with a vaccine for the common frickin' cold and I'll be there!) 

I understand that parents don't think that the government should be able to FORCE them to shoot chemicals in to their child.  I GET THAT I really do.  Remember, my first child?  Whom I did delayed vaccinations with? 

I know that some kids are allergic to vaccinations and have complications, or die.  I would like to compare the #'s though on how many kids die as a result of vaccinations...compared to kids dying from illnesses (like the flu, cold, measles, mumps, etc) I really am interested in seeing those #'s compared.  Maybe the CDC has something, I don't know maybe I'll have to do some digging. 

It's a tough situation. 

On one hand you have people screaming at you that you are selfish and inconsiderate because you don't feel it's safe to vaccinate your child.  When you are simply doing what you feel is for the best interest of your child. 

On the other hand, you have parents who DO vaccinate their children who get told they are selfish and inconsiderate because how COULD YOU put those chemicals in to your child like that! Do you KNOW what is in those vaccinations?  WHY?!

On the OTHER hand....you have some pretty serious illnesses that while they aren't a "big deal" right now....they were once, not so many years ago, and they still are in other countries, and we should be THANKFUL that they aren't so scary in our country.  That doesn't make them a non issue though. 

Now I'm not saying your precious ray of sunshine that you choose to NOT vaccinate is the bad guy, I'm not saying that YOU are the bad guy.  Your happy beautiful ray of sunshine is more or less, as innocent and as happy, and healthy as my vaccinated children. 

They can play together all they want, I'm cool with that.  My kids are protected.  Yours aren't. 

If YOUR child comes into contact by some off chance...with a person that has the measles, then the chances are MUCH MUCH higher that YOUR child will get sick.  Now, no vaccine is 100% (hello, who here has gotten the flu shot and still ended up with the flu huh? Even though they say that's impossible).  There is always a chance that you can still get sick even after having the vaccination for something, it can happen.  NOT as likely, but it can happen. 

Now the thing with Measles is...you can be sick and not even KNOW it yet.  You might just think "eh it's allergies" and sneeze or cough through your day and think nothing of it.  (and we all know how sanitary kids are when they sneeze, cough, blow their nose etc).  So if you are walking through the store, air port, subway, library, down town...whatever.  And someone who has the measles (and doesn't know it yet) has coughed or whatever...and you go through that area or touch that stuff they contaminated....the germs are alive for two hours, do you know how many people can be infected in TWO HOURS?! Think how many of those people could be unvaccinated CHILDREN (as most adults are vaccinated, it's our children who will be affected the greatest by this, unless you had hippie parents or something back in the day or whatever, that were all "fight the man" like they are today, ya know)

I don't want your kid to get sick, I don't want your kid to die.  Just because our society is pretty advanced in medicine, that doesn't mean your unvaxxed child won't die from the measles.  I mean, come on, people die from the simple FLU every year, and not just the elderly or immune compromised some of these people are supposedly healthy individuals and children).  It's all about how your body handles an illness, and we never know how that will go until we GET sick. 

Why risk it? 

Are you worried about autism?  Is being autistic seriously the WORST thing in the world that can happen to our children?  Is being 'different' seriously the worst thing that can happen to our children?  If that's the case maybe you shouldn't have kids over 35 because I hear that increases your chances of having a child born with Down Syndrome (which BTW those kids are awesome and just as 'normal' as your 'normal' child.  They also can have compromised immune systems and a higher risk of getting childhood cancers). 

If I didn't vaccinate my kids, and we traveled to another country or had friends come in from another country and my kids were exposed to measles or something and my kid got sick, and I unknowingly got others sick ONTOP of that, my gosh, I'd feel so bad!!

We still travel to a children's hospital for check ups for my sons cancer, in fact he has cancer scans on Feb. 18th and 20th.  If he's too sick or running a fever we do NOT go.  Why?  Because there are immune compromised CHILDREN (and adults) in that hospital, not just in the Children's Oncology unit, but all over that hospital.  If I were to take him anyway, in all of his sickness, and he rode in the elevator that other patience ride in....and he say...coughed and got all of them all germy and they accessed other patience etc etc...that's no good.  I try to keep MY kids healthy so we can help keep everyone around us healthy too. 

Do I think kids going to public schools should be vaccinated (and none of that "personal beliefs" stuff to get out of it), YES you should be fully vaccinated to go to a public school unless your kid has LEGITIMATE allergies.  Kids spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week crammed together like sardines in those class rooms.  They cough, sneeze, and wipe snot everywhere.  They don't cover their mouths NEARLY as much as you might like to THINK they do.  Hand sanitizer only does so much.  Those disinfectant wipes you send to school every school year only go so far and so much as well. 

Kids are like a herd.  What one gets, they all get.  If we all stop vaccinating, and you have 25 NON vaccinated kids in a class room (and one happens to be immune compromised) and then another child comes in contact with say, measles (since it's the popular culprit right now), and comes to school not knowing they are sick....chances are nearly all 25 kids are going to get measles (now you may have the 1 MAYBE 2 kids that don't get it in that class....)  but most of them well.  Chances are, that immune compromised kid WILL get sick, and could possibly die. Take that same class, but have them be VACCINATED children with one immune compromised child.  Chances are, you just saved that kids life, or at least helped the parents breathe a little easier.

People who work with the elderly have to be vaccinated. 
My DOGS have to be  vaccinated or I get fined. 
I'm pretty sure teachers have to be vaccinated. 
Those who work closely with babies have to be vaccinated. (Whooping cough anyone? No thanks!)
I wish there was an easy answer.  I hate illnesses. 

I hate the fact my son has had to fight cancer, and his brother has had to deal with seizures as a toddler (which BTW when he would get sick his seizures would be a lot worse, because illnesses stressed out his immune system and caused his seizures to increase and be longer, which seizures are not good for a person!!)

My three kids are all fully caught up on their vaccinations and don't need anymore for quite some time.  However, my son that has fought cancer is still the first one to get sick, and the last one to get over it.  His immune system will most likely NEVER be up with everyone else's.  I will always worry about him getting sick.  I will always worry about his cancer coming back too.  If his cancer ever come back, I will worry even more about illnesses.  Nothing like fighting cancer and almost kicking it's butt just to get the flu or pneumonia from an unvaccinated family member who came to visit, and dying. 

I just pray everyone's children stay healthy.  Whether it be measles, mumps, cancer, seizures, WHATEVER it may be.  We all want our children to be healthy I think that is always the first and foremost on our lists as parents.

Just promise me one thing...if you have questions and concerns about vaccinations take it up with your pediatrician, not a bunch of moms on a mom site or mom blog or dad blog or whatever.  Go for the facts, not the hype.  TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR.  Ask for hand outs.  If you trust your child's doctor you should be able to trust the information they are giving you and you should be able to make decisions for your family.  Do not let your doctor make you feel stupid about it all.  Trust me, I know what it's like to have immunization questions.  I had those same questions in 2007 when my daughter was born and people were really talking about MMR and autism. 

Stay healthy. 

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